The way this works is as the night proceeds we will leave our ACM observations from the broadcast in a timeline below. You are strongly encouraged to participate by leaving your comments too! Feel free to watch along, or if you can’t stand the awards (totally understandable), then turn on some REAL country music and follow the awards vicariously through us!
Think of this as a commiseration party, where folks who feel country is on the wrong path and find a collective of like minds. And we don’t just want to pick on people, we also want to use this as a vehicle for promotion of the country artists who probably more deserve these awards.
The blog will proceed in Central time. The ACM’s start at 8 PM Est., 7 Cen., and will be delay broadcast at 8 PM Pacific. The ACM’s are being broadcast on CBS.
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10:01 – Thanks to everyone who stopped by and endured this with me! Thanks to everyone leaving comments! Thanks to anybody and everybody who ever reads my stupid ramblings! Have a good night!
9:59 – Lionel Ritchie and Blake Shelton take us to the credit roll. Thank God! (Not for the music, for the END!)
9:56 – Taylor makes it through an acceptance speech with the “precociousness” that many criticize her for.
9:55 – Taylor Swift wins “Entertainer of the Year”
9:51 – Saving Country Music’s alternative “Male Vocalist of the Year” is Justin Townes Earle!
9:47 – Blake Shelton wins “Male Vocalist of the Year” based on nothing more than the fact he appears on a highly-rated TV show. What was Blake Shelton’s last album? I can’t tell you. I think it was an EP.
9:45- Boy, I had a lot to say about Luke Bryan, and nothing made it past the censors.
9:44 – Random Observation: I don’t think Taylor Swift has done herself any favors tonight, and she didn’t even perform. The shots of her oversinging to stupid songs and the potential S-bomb are just not good for the image she’s trying to portray. (UPDATE: Apparently she was saying “Told You so.”)
9:42 – Sorry for the silence, I’ve had some REALLY inappropriate, line-crossing comments typed out that I had to censor myself on.
9:34 – Boy this marriage bit is awkward as hell.
9:32 – DON’T DO IT! DON’T GET MARRIED! THE ORAL SEX GOES DOWNHILL!
9:30 – Nobody knows who this skinny chic is announcing the wedding. But she’s got the most grating TV talking head cadence in history. This isn’t Inside Edition. Talk to us like people.
9:23 – Farce The Music funny from Twitter: “Is this like Chris Brown getting to perform twice at the Grammys? Did Zac Brown punch somebody?”
9:21 – Let’s remember folks, according to Jason Isbell, Dierks Bentley stole “Home” from him. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/this-whole-dierks-bentley-ripping-of-jason-isbell-thing
9:20 – Shut up Bono.
9:18 – Brad Paisley shreds again on the guitar with Zac Brown band, wearing a signature Zac Brown beanie.
9:15 – Miranda Lambert killed Snuffaluffagus to make the bottom of that dress.
9:13 – You can get vibrators in a variety of colors, just like microphones! Somehow, that’s relevant here.
9:10 – Sources: The sweet and innocent Taylor Swift could be seen uttering “Shit!” when she didn’t win Female Artist of the Year. SOMEBODY didn’t read the SCM predictions, or she’d known she didn’t have a chance.
9:07 – Your Saving Country Music Female Artist of the Year alternative, Rachel Brooke!
9:05 – Miranda Lambert wins Female Artist of the Year. She thanks Jesus. Acts fake surprised since she knew she’d win it months ago when her label block voted her in.
9:03 – Ashton Kutcher is the most country dudded up dude of the whole night, and so of course it’s a bit.
9:01 – Kenny Cheseney sans the hat has Yoda shrivel head. And did he just say, “Do you yell out Hank?” Double vomit.
8:59 – As you watch Kenny Chesney, appreciate that under that Wal-Mart Panama Jack-branded straw hat, he is so incredibly and helplessly bald.
8:55 – Still wouldn’t kick Sara Evans out of the bed for eating crackers. Shameless Rod Stewart pop cover or not.
8:50 – Only Wonder Woman has enough cred to wear a belt buckle that big Sara Evans!
8:47 – Marc Anthony backstage : “Damn those white trash rednecks! DON’T THEY KNOW WHO I AM?!?!? and to hush themselves when I speak?!?!
8:44 – Paper bag moment as Toby Keith starts singing “Red Solo Cup” in an MGM Grand aptly-named vomitorium.
8:43 – “Banjo” is Rascal Flatt’s attempt at a Laundry List song. Steve Martin should have more couth.
8:40 – Earl Scruggs tribute clocks in at 30 seconds.
8:34 – Lip Syncer Scotty McCreery wins the fan voted “Best New Artist”. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/scotty-mccreery%E2%80%99s-lip-sync-%E2%80%98clear-as-day%E2%80%99-at-macys-parade
8:30 – Brad Paisley is a one-in-a-million guitar player. Too bad he’s insists on being such a bit. Still hard to hate.
8:28 – LIP SYNC WATCH: Scotty McCreery takes the stage.
8:25 – Ha! Funny comment from Twitter: ” Does this show have country categories like the Grammys?” And from Twitter’s “Shit Nobody Says”: “I can’t wait to hear Toby Keith sing “Red Solo Cup!”
8:24 – That thing that keeps lowering over the stage after each performance makes me think the Decepticons are invading. One can only hope.
8:20 – Nothing says, “I promise, I am not a sexually-aggressive male” like a deep V-neck button up cardigan and falsetto vocals.
8:19 – Wow, the comedic timing is as off as Taylor Swift’s pitch on the 2010 Grammy’s.
8:15 – Nooooooooooooooooo!!!! Jason Aldean wins Single Record of the Year for “Don’t You Wanna Stay.” Still better than Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup.”
8:12 – The site is getting hammered. Oh please servers hold up! Thanks everyone for stopping by!
8:07 – Eric Church wears mirrored glasses when he sings, not to be like Jr., but so that he can look at himself the whole time.
8:06 – Eric Church calling on the Mao Zedong Communist Party motiff for his backdrop.
8:04 – Your Saving Country Music Group of the Year alternative is Hellbound Glory!
8:00 – KISS making a mockery of country music handing out Group of the Year Award. I’m praying to the 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus Gwar repels from the rafters and kicks their ass, and Lady Antebellum gets caught in the middle as collateral damage.
7:56 – Those holes in Jason Aldean’s pants aren’t from barbed wire, but a meth lab explosion when he went to visit one of his core fan’s houses before the show.
7:52 – NEW NICKNAME ALERT: The chick from Little Big Town is officially the “Country Music Medusa”.
7:50 – Hunter Hays is just happy his balls finally dropped last week!
7:49 – You Saving Country Music Album of the Year alternative is Slackeye Slim’s “El Santo Grial, Las Pistola Piadosa. Check it out!
7:46 – Zac Brown’s vest looks like something my mom would make me for a Halloween costume out of construction paper.
7:45 – Miranda Lambert wins Album of the Year for “Four The Record”. Be happy, this was the best album from the nominees. Eat it Jason Aldean!
7:42 – Okay wait a second. Every time the show Las Vegas outside, it is dark. Yet I’m 1000 miles east, and it is still light outside. It ain’t even 6 PM there! We may be dumb, but we’re not stupid!
7:40 – Taylor Swift had invited a high school student with Caner to be her date tonight, but he was too sick to attend. http://www.theboot.com/2012/04/01/taylor-swift-acm-awards-date-kevin-mcguire/
7:34 – Liz Rose, the songwriter they just cut off giving thanks was the songwriting genius behind Taylor Swift’s first two albums, and is the mother of Caitlin Rose, a great singer/songwriter!
7:32 – Your Saving Country Music alternative Song of the Year is Willy Tea Taylor’s “Life is Beautiful!
7:30 – This chick’s wearing a Band-Aid. And barely knows where she is.
7:27 – We all support the troops! But this type of transparent demographic pandering only polarizes country music politically.
7:24 – There’s going to be a live wedding on the show apparently during Martina McBride’s performance. This is country music, wouldn’t it be more apt to have a divorce?
7:20 – Sorry folks, completely lost connection to the site! Back up now!
7:07: The joke of Blake Shelton taking a picture of his junk for Miranda Lambert is that in truth he has no dick.
7:05: The canned jokes are distracting me from oogling at Reba’s cans.
7:02 – Carrie Underwood’s band is as white as the wind driven snow, just like country’s demographics.
7:00 – If you’re wondering the history of the ACM’s, they were started in 1964 in Los Angeles, as a way to promote country and western artists. Some thought the bigger and older CMA’s based out of Nashville were bias against Western and California artists.
6:57 – The first big ACM Award was already handed out last night to Thompson Square for Vocal Duo, making me so far 1 for one on my ACM predictions: http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/2012-acm-awards-preview-predictions
6:55 – Here we go!!!