Dec
31

Billy Ray Cyrus Recording Hip Hop Version of “Achy Breaky Heart”

December 31, 2013 - By Trigger  //  Down with Pop Country  //  26 Comments

billy-ray-cyrusYes folks, you read that right. According to media personality Larry King, Billy Ray Cyrus, King of the Atomic Mullet and father of devil spawn Miley Cyrus, is recording a hip hop version of his everlasting, demonically evil, and historically bereft scourge of Western Civilization known as “Achy Breaky Heart.”

“Just spoke with @billyraycyrus on the phone – he’s recorded a hip-hop version of ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ – he’s excited about it & so am I!” Larry King tweeted out at roughly noon Central time on New Years Eve. Despite the terrible, devastating news, New Years celebrations across the globe reportedly will still transpire as scheduled.

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel immediately wrote back to Larry King through Twitter saying, “Congratulations to Larry @kingsthings on getting the best tweet of 2013 in just before the finish line.” But in all likelihood this is no joking matter. Billy Ray Cyrus sucks just bad enough to make such an evil wish his New Year’s resolution.

Larry-king-jimmy-kimmel-billy-ray-cyrus-tweet

“Achy Breaky Heart” is considered by many regardless of genre or taste as one of the worst songs in not just the history of country music, but the history of music, period. It came in at #6 on Saving Country Music’s Worst Songs of All Time. The news leaves some hoping The Mayans were right, but just a little off with their calculations, and the destruction of planet Earth can transpire before the hip-hop version of “Achy Breaky Heart” can terrorize the ears and hearts of mankind.

God help us all.

26 Comments to “Billy Ray Cyrus Recording Hip Hop Version of “Achy Breaky Heart””

  • When I first saw the headline I thought for sure that this was one of your fake articles because no one, not even Billy Ray, could possibly be dumb enough to do this. But it looks like this is actually happening? May God have mercy on us all.

       17 likes

  • I’m surprised he waited this long.

       9 likes

  • Lord no this will be so bad it will be painful. Could a tour with Satan uh I mean Colt Ford be too far behind !

       1 likes

  • I’ve been waiting for his other new single to come out:

    “How to raise a disgusting skank daughter that’s so addicted to fame and attentions she’s willing to completely sell out every last bit of her morality, dignity and self respect.”

    Really long song title there but I applaud his honesty.

       8 likes

    • What makes you think that Miley is “selling out” for fame? Is it not possible that her actions are at least partly motivated by a desire to defy social mores?

         1 likes

      • My problem with Miley is it just seems so fake, like a lot of these country singers right now. It just looks like she is trying too hard to be different, it just doesn’t look real. I think she is just doing everything she can to break away from that early persona she had. She is basically copying a formula that a lot of female singers have used through the years, with Lady Gaga being the one before her. I think what she is doing is actually close to being the new normal.

           9 likes

      • She’s not defying social mores. Our society is so degenerate, that acting like she does is what is expected of a 21 year old celebrity.

        Not acting like a slut is more radical than twerking.

           4 likes

      • Naa, am with Phil. Defying moral standards requires a measure of, well, something.

           0 likes

  • It’s always hip hop remakes, I want to see some other styles utilized as well. Something like …

    Bryan White can have a big come back with his new black metal remake of “I’m Not Supposed to Love You Anymore” with special guest Hellhammer on drums and a newly written extra verse sung by Varg Vikernes!

    Yeahhh, that would be good.

       6 likes

    • I always though it would be cool to see Brad Paisely and Keith Urban on stage holding guitars with the ladies from Little big town between them – covering Hazy Shade of Winter.

      I have weird ideas sometimes.

         2 likes

    • Personally, I think David Allan Coe would be a better fit for a song with Varg Vikernes. Steve Earle can do a black metal remake of Copperhead Road with Fenriz from Darkthrone!

         1 likes

    • You can also go in a reverse direction. Mayhem can do a country music version of “Chainsaw Gutsfuck” with Hank Jr. In fact, just do a country music remake of the entire Deathcrush album!!!

         0 likes

  • This a joke right? Did I just pull a rip van winkle and sleep till April Fool’s day?

       7 likes

  • He did have some horrible song with Fred Durst that was on youtube. I think Fsrce the Music posted it a few months back.

       0 likes

  • He should weave his signature mullet into dreadlocks and get his daughter to perform (a charitable way of saying simulate one or more sex acts) on the MTV video.

    And then maybe he can wear either Crips blue or Bloods red and throw up some gang signs.

       1 likes

  • “Just spoke with @billyraycyrus on the phone – he’s recorded a hip-hop version of ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ – he’s excited about it & so am I!”

    Better than any joke i can make.

       6 likes

  • If you really look at Billy Ray and his past, he is really an excellent singer songwriter. You hear the stories of him sitting around song swapping with Jamey Johnson at Hank Cochran’s bed side and listen to a lot of his material that he has written and it is very good. It is too bad that he is so obsessed with being popular, that he will do anything in order to try and regain fame. I think the desire to never fade from the spotlight can become an obsession for some people and he is one of those.

       2 likes

  • Audio version of water boarding.

       4 likes

  • The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

    Self-absorbed twits.

       6 likes

  • Therefore moving Achy Breaky Heart up on worst songs ever lists and keeping it on them for centuries to come. Wonder if Miley will tongue and twerk in the video? Larry King probably doesn’t even know it’s a bad song or what a great country song sounds like. Jimmy Kimmel must have the same cluelessness or more likely he was joking.

    Gotta LOL at these reactions http://twitchy.com/2013/12/31/oh-my-god-larry-kings-billy-ray-cyrus-tweet-sparks-end-of-world-panic/

       0 likes

  • Did I miss the Best Album of 2013 post?

       0 likes

    • I have no named it yet. In the coming days.

         1 likes

  • I’ll take this over anything Brantley (oh…I mean BG) , Aldean, Bryan put out. At least Billy Ray is just a hillbilly and knows it, and Achy Breaky is just a gimmick song. (He has many solid tunes in the wake of Achy Breaky)

    All these other guys think they are making good music when they put shit out like 1994, Country girl shake it for me and pick anything Brantley has ever done.

       1 likes

  • So Billy Ray wants to try and kill his career for a second time?

       0 likes

  • I suppose they’re gonna call this new barge of sewage “country” too, huh?
    Makes me wanna eject my PBR.

       1 likes

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