The Colt Ford Collaboration Country Music Blacklist

You have to give credit to “country” rapper Colt Ford for at least one thing: his boldness. While wearing a grin like a mule eating garlic, he’s hoodwinked the country music consumer out of millions of dollars by trashing traditions and self-admittedly having little talent. In some ways I cheer for Colt Ford’s success. Hell, lets give him the CMA for Entertainer of the Year. Because his success just proves the point that most of the stuff coming from Music Row is no more than a punch line, and that we are in a headlong sprint toward all popular music coalescing into one big mono-genre presiding over the death of contrast.

I know that Colt Ford is a guilty pleasure for many. Some of his lines are catchy, or whatever. I find it hard to work up any venom for someone who isn’t shy about speaking on how much of a gimmick he is. What really gets me hot under the music collar is the who’s who of country music that come out of the woodwork to collaborate with this knucklehead. Look at the list of people that signed up to appear on his next album Every Chance I Get: Charlie Daniels, Luke Bryan, Tim McGraw, and my favorite “new Outlaws” Eric Church and Josh Thompson. You can add these names to people like Kevin Fowler, who Colt Ford had running around with women’s underwear on his head, or other previous collaborators like Montgomery Gentry, and yes, even the beloved Jamey Johnson.

I expect nothing less from Josh Thompson. If his music is your speed, then don’t let my opinionated ass get in your way, but since I roasted him for his stupid “Outlaw” song, it seems like wherever stupid is going down, he’s there getting his pony tail stuck in the spokes of it. As for Eric Church, since my first reactions to his music, he’s been keeping his nose surprisingly clean, and putting out some songs that I dare say show some promise for being very progressive and engaging. So then why regress to cutting a song called “Country Thang” with the gringo version of Grimace? That’s “Thang” with an “A”, yo. Word to yo mutha’. Wiggety wa wa.

So please, all the Josh Thompson and Eric Church apologists, explain to me how I’m supposed to overlook this. I thought these were the guys that were Saving Country Music, and I was a fool for not seeing they were the key to upholding traditions. I know, they’re just trying to get their name out there, but at what expense?

And why is Colt always associated with these “New Outlaws”? Last year Hank Jr. put Colt Ford on his “Rowdy Friends” tour with the aforementioned Eric Church and Josh Thompson, along with the other “New Outlaw” Gretchen Wilson, and the untouchable Jamey Johnson.

If you want to listen to a true, creative meld of hip hop and country, go listen to some Beck or some Paul’s Boutique-era Beastie Boys. But this Colt Ford stuff is garbage, despite a few catchy lines, and as far as I’m concerned, lending your name to a Colt Ford project lands you a card carrying membership to the “Colt Ford Collaboration Blacklist”. Here’s the names I’ve amassed so far:

Colt Ford Collaboration Blacklist:

  • Eric Church
  • Josh Thompson
  • Jamey Johnson
  • Kevin Fowler
  • Charlie Daniels
  • Montgomery Gentry
  • Tim McGraw
  • Luke Bryan
  • Trent Tomlinson
  • Craig Morgan
  • Tyler Farr
  • JB & The Moonshine Band
  • Frankie Ballard
  • James Otto
  • Randy Houser
  • Ty Stone
  • Josh Gracin
  • Sunny Ledfurd
  • Darryl Worley
  • Rhett Akins
  • Joe Nichols
  • Rachel Farley
  • Ira Dean
  • Jason Aldean (for recording Colt’s “Dirt Road Anthem”)
  • Hank Williams Jr. (for putting him on his “Rowdy Friends” tour)