Feb
23

Cyrus Drama Is Loss For Michael Jackson Montgomery

February 23, 2011 - By Trigger  //  Random Notes  //  29 Comments

The celebrity news world has been abuzz over the last week or so after Billy Ray Cyrus admitted in an article in GQ magazine that the Disney TV Show “Hanna Montana” starring him and his daughter Miley Cyrus “destroyed my family” and that he was “scared” for Miley’s future. This comes on the heels of video of the teen star smoking Salvia from a bong and releasing a video showing her in her skives, and Billy Ray seeking a divorce from Miley’s mom.

This story is so full of classic mistakes. Who would NOT predict that a mad grab for money with no sense of morality or taste would have ended in a broken home and the downfall of a celebrity child?

Well the fallout from Billy Ray’s admissions has had a deep effect in Nashville. Music Row likes to follow formulas. When one thing works, they tend to stick with it. Taylor Swift’s success has led to other major labels scrambling to find “the next Taylor”. The same thing has been happening with labels trying to find the “Miley Cyrus of country.”

But one Nashville major label took it even further. Saving Country Music has moles in every one of Nashville’s major labels, and apparently a PROMINENT, WELL KNOWN NASHVILLE LABEL was about to launch another daddy/daughter duo cut in the same mold as Billy Ray and Miley. The idea was to have the dad be big in country, the daughter big in pop, and plan TV shows/movies/merchandise lines/ all kinds of stuff around this premise. As the idea was presented to me, it was to be, “a vast, multi-level, multi-platform, cross market super franchise with the hopes of putting the label on solid ground after years of falling music sales.”

The dad was going to be named “Michael Jackson Montgomery” and the daughter “Natalie”, just one name, “just like Sting” as it was explained to me. I’ve been unable to get many details, but there would be some slight differences between Billy Ray & Miley, for example the mother would be portrayed as being killed in a terrorist attack to drum up a lot of patriotic support, with songs and scenes of the two stars commiserating. It appears that all the stops were taking out to make sure that “Michael Jackson Montgomery & Natalie” would be a huge blockbuster success.

Now because of the Billy Ray/Miley drama, my mole at the MAJOR NASHVILLE LABEL is saying “the future of the Michael Jackson Montgomery & Natalie project is uncertain.”

Saving Country Music has obtained a rough demo for one of the songs to be released by Michael Jackson Montgomery through this MAJOR NASHVILLE LABEL. And I have to tell you, I am astonished by the boldness that Montgomery takes when talking about his daughter. It is called “My Baby’s Gonna Dance” and you can listen to it below.

More info on “Michael Jackson Montgomery & Natalie” when it becomes available.

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Listen to “My Baby’s Gonna Dance with media player or download.

Here are the lyrics as best I can glean:

My baby’s gonna dance. Nashville’s giving her a chance.

I’m so happy in my pants. ‘Cause my baby’s gonna dance.

My little girls gonna be a superstar. Selling pimple cream, lipstick, and Korean cars.

And it doesn’t matter that there’s not a song that she wrote, they’ll put it on the radio and shove it down your throat.

Well she couldn’t hold her tune inside a bucket, but we’ll pre-record everything and the masses will love it.

With rhinestones, a cone bra and a bleached mustache, she’ll be daddy’s prized heifer bring home the cash.

(Chours)

Get her some store bought tits and designer boots, and polish her horse teeth down nice and smooth

She can dance around in her underwear, as long as I’m getting my check well I don’t care.

Well the press photgraphed her naked in a Taxi cab, and she sold a million records on her way to rehab.

She’s burning her nose out and popping pills, while I wipe my ass with $100 dollar bills.

(Chours)

And her momma that’s way up there in heaven, ’cause she got killed by Al-Queda at a 7-11

She’s gonna rain down the tears that’ll water her soul, so she can sing her heart out so I get a new bass boat.

(Chorus)

29 Comments to “Cyrus Drama Is Loss For Michael Jackson Montgomery”

  • The description you give makes it sound like a serious act, yet that song makes it sound like a parody with lyrics I wouldn’t think Nashville would touch.

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    • Disagree, Nashville will eat this up.

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  • I think I have a new favorite artist.

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    • Well you gave Rachel Brooke a “meh” so your music taste can’t be trusted.

      :)

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      • If you have contact info, I’d like to contact this label about making a music video for this song.

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  • That is super rad! I reckon they should cast one of those pretty lil Kardashian tweens in the role and Bruce Jenner could be the dad. Wonder if he can sing? Meh. Doesn’t matter.

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    • What the hell is a Kardashian?

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      • It sounds like something out of star wars

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  • You got me Trig….This has to be a joke..lol!

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  • “i’m so happy in my pants”-2011 lyric of the year.

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  • Disney didn’t ruin Miley Cyrus. Her concerned father allowed her to be an attention seeking whore for profit. I hope they both die in a house fire.

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  • BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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  • Man alive! That’s gooder’n hell! Almost as good as that buck chasin,dank smokin’,country as cow shit Aaron Lewis! Thank yee Jesus!

    Made my night Trig.
    Store bought tits!!!!

    Now…Back to Hellbound Glory and Faron Young and a goodcoldbeer for me.

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  • Well . . . I . . . . um . . . gee. . . . now . . . humpfffff. I think Nashville has lost it’s ever lovin’ mind. But then again, if you love money, then stupid human tricks make sense.

    Great blog Triggerman.

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  • just rolled in via a FB link,and this… BRAVO, sir, BRAVO. ‘Happy in my pants” indeed.

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  • Michael Jackson Montgomery was a perfect choice of name! haha.

    That song could be a lost song from DAC’s Xrated tapes.

    Good humor.

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  • I guess the shows theme song will be a remake of Heaven’s Just A Sin Away. All the sudden American Idol don’t look as bad. At lest they have Steven Tyler.

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  • Triggerman, Is that you singing this song.

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    • I think it is….

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      • I have a new found disdain for stage dads now.

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    • It is not me singing, it is Michael Jackson Montgomery, and artist from a MAJOR NASHVILLE LABEL.

      Besides, haven’t you read the criticisms of me whenever I bash some pop country douche? That I have no right to criticize, because I’ve NEVER written a song myself, never sung one, and am not a musician? So it can’t be me.

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      • And you live in your mum’s basement too.

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  • FanfukinTastic work Triggerman! …aint no wonder why all us TrashvillePopCuntryMediaHungryMusicVultures flock to this site…who’da thunk?

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  • Great stuff Triggerman. Keep us updated. I would love to hear a duet between MJM and Natalie!

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  • I am a little late to this conversation… but Billy Ray and Michael Jackson Montgomery (yes, perfect name) need a lesson from Waylon. Some folks may have heard this story… but he was in Steve Earle’s studio when Justin was about 14 and Justin was messing around, and showing his talent, on blues guitar. He said something like “Stop that, it will ruin your life.” (I saw an interview recently where Justin told the story, and another where Steve told it a few years ago. Steve told it slightly differently – I think it was “Somebody stop that boy” – and added that Waylon didn’t want to encourage Shooter in the business. I am too lazy to try to find the articles.)

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  • Great stuff Kyle. Be sure and mark March 20th 12-3:30 and come listen to the anti-thesis(where did I learn that word?) of the crap you write about!

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  • I love this and I love you Triggerman! This is great!

    PS: I love your blog too! I want you to know that I’m 20 and I’m a proud traditional country lover! Other young people that I know have seen how country music has changed for the worse, don’t want you to think we don’t see it!

    No one has said it better than Alan Jackson and George Strait:

    “…But someone killed country music
    Cut out its heart and soul
    They got away with murder
    Down on music row…”

    Murder on Music Row = NOTHING COMES CLOSER TO THE TRUTH ABOUT COUNTRY MUSIC THAN THIS!

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  • funny……

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