Free Hank III Takes the Pop Country Challenge

So a couple of times when I’ve posted a roasting of a some pop country blowhard, I’ll get someone to send me a message similar to this:

Hey Dumbass, (or whatever)

So you talk shit about pop country, but you admit you never listen to it. So how would you know if it sucks or not? Why don’t you try listening to it, you might find something you like. I don’t like all pop country, but I like Toby Keith (or whatever pop country moron you want to insert here). Just because something’s popular doesn’t mean it sucks! Look in your iPod. If you can’t find any pop country, then how would you know if it sucks?

You know, I understand that there are a lot of people out there who like music simply because it’s not the ‘popular’ thing at the moment because it gives them some sense of identity. There’s some people who listen to certain music simply because it IS the popular thing. But there are some people who if the music they like at the moment were ever to become popular, they would stop liking it immediately, and to the credit of my pop country critics, I’ll admit that’s bullshit.

I remember when I was a kid I was really into classic rock. Then ‘The Doors’ movie came out and everybody was a big Jim Morrison fan, and so I fled that scene and went to punk: Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, etc. Then ‘Green Day’ made punk mainstream again, so then I got into ska punk. Then the whole swing band craze hit, and groups like the Bosstones were all of a sudden being played on Top 40 stations. So I started listening to Hank Williams and DAC.

Now I’m older and see how all of that was bullshit. You should like whatever you like, regardless of its popularity at the time.

Like I’ve always said, pop music has it’s place in the world, but it’s place is not country.

But since I like to answer my critics, I am going to tell you the story of the last time I listened to pop country. But first I’m going to take the pop country iPod challenge.

Understand, I am doing this live, as I type. I have not looked in my iPod to see if there’s any pop country in it. People give me music all the time and there’s shit in there I don’t like, so who knows.

So here we go. I’m sifting through the iPod right now. A, B, C, D, ah!

Dolly oYo Parton. But wait, this is mostly her older shit. ‘Mule Skinner Blues’ and ‘Coat of Many Colors.’ Stuff like that.

Can’t really call that modern day pop. Dolly back in the day was bad ass, don’t care what anybody else thinks.

Shit, can’t get out of the D’s. Dwight Yoakum.

Now Dwight in his day was definitely pop country, but I don’t care. I like his voice, his songwriting, and I think overall he’s just bad ass with his Bakersfield sound:

“My favorite male country singer? Dwight Yoakam.”

–Johnny Cash.

Of course nowadays Dwight’s been relegated to the county fair circuit, and Nashville looks at him as a has-been, but he got a TON of radio play back in the late 80’s , 90’s and early 00’s. Dwight is also part of the Reinstate Hank documentary being put together by Judd Films.

But it looks like D is where it ends. No more pop country. But hey, I got one. Isn’t that all it takes, like black friends???

– – – – – – – – – –

Now I’m going to recount the last time I listened to pop country, and let me warn you I’m probably going to get pissed.

I had flown into Orlando Rat City on business, and had rented a car to drive to the Redneck Riviera of Daytona Beach. I had nothing to listen to but the stock radio. So I turn it on and it’s the pop country station dialed up. So I listen. The first song I wouldn’t even consider a country song, it was a Bible hymn with God this, God that. Now I’m not pro OR anti God, but I just don’t want to be preached to in my music. The song sucked too, but whatever.

The second song is when I lost it. They played a song by Alan Jackson that I guess was a hit called “Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?” It’s about 9/11. What got me was one of the lyrics:

“I watch CNN, but I’m not sure I can tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran.”

Now I understand this is all supposed to be country pride flag waving, and I ain’t saying I’m against that, but I find Alan Jackson ‘aw-schucks’ country idiom stupidity revolting. This is the kind of bullshit that perpetuates the idea that all people from the country, or all poor people are as dumb as dirt.

Listen, there are people who have read this blog while serving in Iraq. There are numerous people in my friends that have served in Iraq or have loved ones over there. THERE IS A GIRL WHOSE BEEN A PART OF THIS THING ALMOST FROM DAY ONE THAT LOST A LOVED ONE IN IRAQ!!!

Don’t tell me Alan Jackson that SHE doesn’t know the difference between Iraq and Iran. Iraq is where her loved one died, Iran is another country!!!!

Fucking bullshit.

Sorry, but I’m pissed off. And I don’t care if that song was written before the war started. If that was the case, they should stop playing it. And I don’t really care if there are people out there that actually don’t know Iraq from Iran, that’s not the point. And don’t think this is flag waving; I ain’t for or against any war. I’m just for the people of the country being shown respect, and as far as I’m concerned, Alan Jackson called them stupid white trash motherfuckers.

You need a fucking geography lesson you fake-ass country superstar fucktard???

There Alan Jackson, now you can shut the fuck up.

Needless to say, after that I turned the station to classic rock. They were playing a ‘double shot’ of the Doors. I fought through it.