Halloween Primer for the Hellbillies

Want to hear something scary to get you ready for Halloween? No, I’m not talking about Taylor Swift without her Pro Tools auto tuners. Hell, I’d rather have a suburban angster take a baseball bat to my head like it was Jack-O-Latnern on Nov. 1st than to listen to that banshee yawp. What I’m talking about is THIS:

First off, who is better at creeping you out all year long than Blake Clayton of It Burns When I Pee, so why would Halloween be any different? IBWIP has just released their 3rd annual Halloween Special, with featured guest the Sons of Perdition. (insert sounds of ghastly moans here. . . No . . . no I said “ghastly” moans, not those kind of moans. Oh forget it.)

It Burns When I Pee Sons of Perdition HalloweenAnd who is the REAL country King of Halloween? Well I can’t think of anyone better than The King himself, Unknown Hinson! Unknown, who is reported to be a 2,000 year-old vampire will be sinking his teeth into Outlaw Radio TONIGHT (10-27-09) at 9 PM Central on punkandbeansradio.com. And if you miss it, all together class: “You can find it the next day at savingcountrymusic.com/outlaw-radio.”

I’ll tell you; since Elvira went MIA after her bags full of goodies started sagging toward the Underworld, Unknown Hinson might be the best candidate to become the official mascot of Halloween!

And while we’re dwelling on spooky characters, I have to stop down to give some fun size Snickers to The Slow Poisoner, who I saw last Thursday with Joe Buck and the .357 String Band. This guy was great. He’s a one man band who is like Lux Interior of The Cramps, if Lux was a substitute teacher, which is not entirely off the mark, because The Slow Poisoner sunlights as a substitute.

The Slow Poisoner Joe Buck .357 String Band Johnny B'sNothing I could say about the guy could convey how entertaining his live act is, so you will just have to take my word that if he comes haunting your neck of the spooky woods, he’s worth dropping a dime on. Dimes that is, not pennies. Only thing worse than getting pennies in your Holloween bag is getting a toothbrush.

The Slow Poisoner also writes comics and books and does his own illustrations, and God honest sells snake oil out of a suitcase for $3.

So what will The Triggerman be doing on Halloween? Well the day before I’m going to see the Gothic murder bluegrass band The Pine Box Boys. But on Halloween, I will do what I do every day: haunt pop country as the Ghost of Country Was.

Happy Halloween Hellbillies!

The Slow Poisoner Joe Buck
(Joe Buck admiring the work of the slow poisoner.)

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