Jun
11

Luke Bryan Loses “Male Video” Award for Having a Vagina

June 11, 2012 - By Trigger  //  News  //  32 Comments

Last Wednesday night downtown Nashville was all abuzz with the annual CMT Awards going down, part of the greater CMA Fan Fest. However some controversy has arisen with the winner of “Male Video of The Year” for 2012, Luke Bryan. His video for the song “I Don’t Want This Night To End” was chosen as the year’s best, but a dispute about Luke Bryan’s gender has made CMT take the unprecedented move of revoking the singer’s award.

It’s pretty simple,” explains CMT spokesperson Harold Frankenfurter. “You can’t have a ‘Male Video of the Year’ winner who is in fact of the opposite gender. We want to be very respectful of Luke Bryan’s gender and life choices, but we do feel it is unfair to the other nominees to give him the award with ‘Male’ in the title when he is in fact a woman.”

The controversy started when the former Filipino karaoke singer turned Journey frontman Arnel Pineda left the stage after Journey’s performance with Rascal Flatts that closed out the CMT Awards. Apparently the frontman observed Luke Bryan sitting down to urinate. This stimulated a chain reaction of events that led to Luke being accosted by CMT staff to verify his sex.

Bryan was uncooperative at first, appalled at the question and demanding a lawyer. An unusual provision in the CMT bylaws allowed the company to force Bryan into taking a blood test, but the test came back as inconclusive to Bryan’s gender. Then over the weekend, hoping to avoid any further controversy or bad publicity, Bryan finally put the suspicion to rest by revealing that he indeed has a vagina.

Luke Bryan Makes You Feel Uncomfortable

“Again, CMT wants to emphasize we are not discriminating against Bryan because of gender,” says Harold Frankenfurter. “Next year Luke Bryan is encouraged to submit a video for the ‘Best Female Video’ category if she so chooses and we will judge it right alongside the other female nominees, but Bryan will be permanently disqualified from the male side of things.”

As for who Luke Bryan is forfeiting his award to? “Eric Church,” Frankenfurter announced. “We were going to give it to Keith Urban, but we wanted to, um, assure there were no more gender questions with this year’s awards.

Luke Bryan’s vagina could not be reached for comment.

32 Comments to “Luke Bryan Loses “Male Video” Award for Having a Vagina”

  • Hilarious. I hope this brings out the semi-retarded Luke Bryan fan girl contingent to defend his honor.

       5 likes

  • This is great. You should consider writing for ‘The Onion’, Triggerman! Like a satirical music column or something. & is it possible we’re beginning to see you come around on Eric Church? For, i think the first time, you wrote his name w/o the word douche bag before or immediately after. Love the site man, keep it up!

       5 likes

    • I’m sure the line for “The Onion” contributors forms to the left.

      I have been giving Eric Church credit for being better than most of what you hear on the radio these days for a while. The problem remains though that the guy is a prick and two faced which is unfortunate because it puts a barrier between his music and many fans. If he would just shut up and play he would be a lot easier to like.

      Here’s the latest transgression:

      http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/eric-church-caught-w-foot-in-mouth-over-outlaw-image

         2 likes

      • That line forms to the left of Orion, pretty sure.

           1 likes

      • Didn’t realize that “Orion” was going to look like “Onion” and probably cause some confusion there…

           0 likes

  • Oh I LOVE Luke but this is some funny shit!

       0 likes

  • ROFLMAO

       0 likes

  • HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA That one was good Trig.

    As said before, enter Luke Bryan fanboys (fangirls?) to defend his (her? it’s?) honor. I cant keep a straight face with this one lol.

    “We were going to give it to Keith Urban, but we wanted to, um, assure there were no more gender questions with this year’s awards.”

       2 likes

  • first Nancy and now Harold. that Frankenfurter family get’s around the country music scene,don’t they?…lol.

       0 likes

  • As a woman, I find this offensive. I don’t know what Bryan is, but he is not one of us.

       6 likes

    • PS He may actually be missing any genitalia whatsoever. Yep, that makes the most sense.

         4 likes

      • Oh, that’s good.

           0 likes

  • crazy day yesterday first trig dissapoints me with a middle school homophobic joke article and then carrie underwood comes out in support of gay marriage which blew me away cuz i didnt think underwood had balls that big.
    http://tasteofcountry.com/carrie-underwood-supports-gay-marriage/

    - great job on your blog trig im just disagreeing with this one article in many months of great articles and opinions.

       0 likes

    • I totally agree that this is a ridiculous, immature, “middle-school” article. It was simply a vehicle to try and get people to laugh about the trend of the emasculation of country music and our culture in general that some people find disturbing.

      Where I will disagree is that it is homophobic. I have no problems with homosexuals, and you will not be able to find a quote from me bagging on gay people or crossing a line of discrimination anywhere. I actually tried to be very careful in this article where I did not cross that line. Honestly if I was gay, I would be offended by Luke Bryan for acting “gay” to get attention.

         5 likes

  • this is hilarious man i thought it was real luke bryan probably does have a vagina lmfao

       1 likes

  • Dude your gay!!! you dont even know what you are talking about. Luke bryan is a bigger man than you will ever be…you need to stop doing what you are doing and go find someone as stupid as you are and tell them crap like this. wtf dude

       5 likes

  • hahahah jk dude

       0 likes

  • This is the dumbest s**t i have ever heard! U need 2 get a life. Ur just jealous that luke bryan could have over half the worlds lady population!

       3 likes

    • Do your parents know you’re still up?

         10 likes

  • I bet a man wrote this. Just jealous, because most of the womans population wants Luke. You sir, are just a hater. Lol

       2 likes

    • If a girl likes this, she’s probably a lesbian. I could see this guy on a stripper pole in a bikini and fitting in… Big turnoff

         1 likes

  • This is crap! It’s offensive to read this Luke is a guy and it makes me mad to read this bull crap on websites and I know it upsets Luke by people making up rumors like this. It’s not funny at all.

       3 likes

  • seriously luke bryan? yea right, if anyone is gay its hunter hayes with his autotune

       2 likes

    • I agree about hunter hayes, but that doesn’t preclude Luke Bryan from being in company with him.

         1 likes

  • Even if he is “Gay”, he is still a MALE you fool……. Whether straight or gay you need your Mommie to tell yoy about the birds and bees, Men have pee pee’s and women have Vagina’s you fool…….LMAO

       0 likes

  • Luke Bryan is totally gay. It’s pretty obvious once you hear him speak.

       1 likes

  • We all know that this is fake. As a girl this is offensive and I know for sure that he is a male. And who ever posted this is just jealous because they dont have as many girls that like you. So just posting things like this. You just want to make his career to end but he is a strong person and will forget this. So just STOP!! I am tired of people who post crap like this just cause they are jealous of them.

       1 likes

  • Also. If he is a girl or boy how did he get two wonderful sons and a wife. Does your mommy need to give you the birds and bees talk?? Go ask!!!!!!

       1 likes

  • Listen here. You’ll people who believe this shit are fucked up. U guys are probably jealous that women want him and a guy probably wrote this for that purpose. This is not funny ant all you sunbitches. He is probably more of a man than y’all are.

       2 likes

  • You little mother fuckers! Luke Bryan would never say that he is a great man and would never let down his fans like that! So just stfu

       1 likes

  • This is great.

       0 likes

  • Mike Evans pees when he sits too.

       0 likes

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