Mar
5

Michael Jackson Montgomery ‘Met Her at the Megachurch’

March 5, 2012 - By Trigger  //  News  //  12 Comments

We first met Michael Jackson Montgomery a year ago, when drama erupting between country star Billy Ray Cyrus and his teen idol daughter Miley derailed Montogomery’s planned pop country career. Montgomery, and his own teen idol daughter “Natalie” (just one name) were part of an expansive media franchise that was planning to take the daddy daughter duo concept and launch parallel music careers in pop and country, a Television series, merchandise lines, and many other projects as part of a Music Row “mega franchise”.

After Michael Jackson Montgomery was dropped from his PROMINENT, WELL-KNOWN NASHVILLE LABEL, he turned to Saving Country Music to tell his story and also released a demo of one of the planned pop country songs, “My Baby’s Gonna Dance”. Then in late April 2011, Montgomery leaked another one of his demos “The Letter ‘B’” to help illustrate the use of the “laundry list” songwriting formula.

Since then Michael Jackson Montgomery has been a frequent reader of Saving Country Music, and after reading a comment I made in an article about how certain American “megachurches” are putting just as much of a strain on local rural communities as megastores like Wal-Mart, how they are vanquishing the small, rural churches and the rich communities surrounding them, he decided to send me another demo that directly touches on this issue.

“The ‘Michael Jackson Montgomery & Natalie’ mega franchise was meant to appeal to all the major American demographics, and the megachurch followers are huge pop country fans,” Montgomery explains. “So they wrote this song “I Met Her at the Megachurch” to appeal to the folks that are a part of these huge churches, that sometimes are so big they’re like small cities, with Starbucks and food courts and little amusement parks for kids all encompassed in the church.”

You can listen to “I Met Her at the Megachurch” below, and read the lyrics below that. This is just a demo, a rough sketch of what the PROMINENT, WELL-KNOWN NASHVILLE LABEL was planning to take into the studio, but Michael Jackson Montgomery hinted to me in conversation that he might actually be heading into the studio sometime soon to record the songs meant for the debut album, so stay tuned.

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Well I could see her beauty, from 100 yards away

Right before the preacher came on the Jumbo Tron and he told us all to bow our heads and pray

Well my frosted tips were shining, and my “Tap Out” shirt was tight

And with Axe body spray gleaming on my crotch I knew she’d be with me tonight.

I met her at the Megachurch, it was love at first sight

I met her at the megachurch, and then I made her my wife

Now were 30 grand in debt, working shitty jobs

Buying our way to heaven like rich suburban snobs

I met her at the mega church, we’ll have a mega-life

- – -

I caught up with her in the West Wing, she was standing in the Starbucks line

I offered to pay for her double shot espresso, and she got a cute look and started to pine

We took a stroll out on the north lawn, where they’re demolishing an old Baptist church

To make room for the new fellowship water park, and a fishing pond full of perch.

- – -

Chorus

Well we cling to corporate culture ’cause we don’t want to be weird

And I’ll be damed if marriage is something for queers

- – -

Chorus

Well we broke our chastity vows on the third date

And now her per-marriage period is 3 weeks late.

12 Comments to “Michael Jackson Montgomery ‘Met Her at the Megachurch’”

  • I have so many problems with mega churches. The ones you’ve pointed out are only a few. These places are all about making you feel good. God loves you & as long as you know he exist you can get in to heaven. If that was the case everyone would be a Christian. There afaid if they preach what what the bible really says they might offend someone. Joel Olsteen is leading millions to hell.

       0 likes

    • Joel Osteen is leading himself to hell as well.. “It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.”

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  • WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    MICHAEL JACKSON MONTGOMERY WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    lol these articles are epic

       1 likes

  • If this “Michael Jackson Montgomery”;) puts out an album, I’ll buy.

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  • Well done! This makes me happy in my pants ;)

       0 likes

  • You know whats crazy? With a little more polishing this stuff could be your big breakthrough Triggerman… you could be a pop country super star yourself lol

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    • Well, to set the record straight, Michael Jackson Montgomery is not me. He was a pop country hopeful signed to a PROMINENT, WELL-KNOWN NASHVILLE LABEL before being dropped. Besides, everyone knows I’m not a musician, and so thus have no right to criticize music. Just ask Jonny Corndawg. ;)

         0 likes

      • Robbie Fulks IS pretty funny isn’t he !

           0 likes

  • ‘on the thirty-first floor a gold plated door won’t keep out the lord’s burning rain.’

       0 likes

    • Sin City….love that song!

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  • Off topic, but Taylor Swift poses in a bikini, to the delight of pediphiles world wide.

    http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/our-country/pic-taylor-swift-shows-off-bikini-bod-au

       0 likes

  • I really felt this song when the organ music swelled. It’s like the almightly himself is conducting this. Amen brother!

       0 likes

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