Nashville Flooding Because God Hates Kid Rock

Kid RockIt’s true.

When wacko Pat Robertson proclaimed that Katrina happened because of all the sin in New Orleans and Haiti got hit by an earthquake because they made a pact with the devil, I thought he was high on more than just Christ Love. But apparently it’s true, and apparently God not only hates sin, but greezy hair, fedora hats that smell like turned munster cheese, and genre bending.

It all started at the famous Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge on Broadway in downtown Nashville where once upon a time greats like Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon and Cash all hung out, writing songs and bouncing ideas off each other.

The front of Tootsie’s is known for displaying the faces of country greats: Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Hank Jr., Willie . . . and Kid Rock. What, KID ROCK? Really? You might as well put the face of Satan up there. Even Kid Rock fans can’t say his mug belongs in that company.

We all know that God loves REAL country music. And edifying Mr. Rock on this landmark (probably because him and Pamela Anderson performed their sham celebrity wedding there, only lasted 100 days, what a surprise) apparently made God very angry. But the straw that broke the camel is when it was announced that Kid Rock will host the CMT Awards.

Shortly after the announcement, the Nashville area experienced over 13 inches of rain in two days and the waters of the mighty Cumberland began to swell. Now Nashville is being immersed in flood waters. Forget science fact and cause and effect, this is an act of God my friends.

Thanks Kid, you prick.


Seriously, this is just my dumb way to get people to pay attention to a disaster that most of the mainstream media is ignoring because it is in the Heartland. This is devastating. My heart goes out to the people of Nashville and the surrounded areas effected, and we all hope for the safe preservation of Nashville’s landmarks.

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You can also follow the 9513’s update on the situation and relief efforts by CLICKING HERE.

Inside the Grand Ole Opry:

Nashville Flood Grand Ole Opry

Downtown Nashville:

Nashville Flood Downtown