NO CHRIS BROWN IN COUNTRY !!!

Chris BrownI’ve been up in pop douche Chris Brown’s kitchen even BEFORE he took a closed fist to his girlfriend Rihanna. Back in December (2008) this knucklehead recorded a song with country’s superlative sellout Tim McGraw called “Human”, and afterwards said “It’s incredible, I wanted to do something more along the country line. That’s a bigger and different audience for me.” Translation: I want my crack at that big pile of pop country money, and am willing to sell out as hard as I can to do so.

Now it has been reported that Chris Brown is considering putting another country song on his new album called “Trapped in a Dream,” possibly a duet with American Idol banshee Carrie Underwood. One of Chris Brown’s handlers said about the song: “It’s that kind of song, just feeling like you don’t want that dream to go away. Everybody has a dream and you’re in it, but you wake up and you’re like, ‘Oh, my God.’ You feel like you’re still in that dream.”

Are you kidding me? That’s the plot for a 5-year-old’s nursery rhyme, not a country song. What a bunch of Hollywood wanker douchbaggery garbage that is. And how is Chris Brown even a free man? Look at what he did to his girlfriend:

Rihanna Beaten

In fact I’m going to post it again just for emphasis. THIS is what you should think about every time you hear the name “Chris Brown.”

Rihanna Beaten

Chris Brown shouldn’t be recording anything, he should be in the pokey, digging his nails into a bar of soap, praying it doesn’t slip and skid across the tile and end up at the feet of a 300-pound bubba whose shaving his legs with a pink razor. That would be one dream (or nightmare) Chrissey would pray he could wake up from.

But what really chaps me about this story is all these media outlets and bloggers yucking it up about how Chris Brown will fit right into country BECAUSE he beat his girlfriend. Excuse me, but here’s a nice hearty FUCK YOU for perpetuating a negative stereotype about REAL country music artists and fans. I’m not implying that country music has a squeaky clean record when it comes to domestic abuse, but it is just as fair to say that all black people beat their women, just because Chris Brown did.

For once I actually have a little faith that Chris Brown’s foray into “country” (as their marketing it) will fall of deaf ears. Pop country fans may be dumb, but they’re not stupid. Nashville took it too far when they tried to shove Jessica Simpson down our throats as a “country” star, and my guess is Chris Brown will do just about as well.

This is one issue I think all country fans, including pop country fans, can agree on. This piece of garbage has no place in anything called “country.” We should all unite and say . . .

NO CHRIS BROWN IN COUNTRY !!!