Saving Country Music 2013 Grammy Awards LIVE Blog

55th-grammy-awardsSo here we go once again folks! To attempt to alleviate some of the anger, disgust, dejection, and frustration with the current state of music, we join here to report, commiserate, and poke fun of The Grammy Awards, the participants, the winners, and the performers, and pontificate on their impact. The way this works is this page will be updated regularly as the telecast transpires, so get your mouse finger ready to hit refresh often. And please feel free to participate in the comments section below.

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10:45 – Aside from Kelly Clarkson’s performance and Carrie Underwood’s dress, I thought the 2013 Grammys were the most unimpressive and boring awards show I’ve had to sit through and attempt to administrate a live blog on in a long time. No theme, no direction, no stirring performances, and a lot of time spent on music that had nothing to do with 2012 events or the current landscape of music. Last year had some excellent moments. This year there was barely anything worth even making fun of. The whole thing seemed flat. No real humor to speak of. I’m usually not for theatrics, but even most of the stage presentations were unimaginative, except for Taylor Swift’s which was just completely over the top to the point of being stupid. What happened this year? What message were the Grammys trying to convey, because I’m not walking away with anything, any feeling like a summation of the music year was made.

The big wins for The Back Keys and specifically Mumford & Sons could shift the already-brewing “roots” backlash into high gear. Anticipate seeing a lot of chatter about how much people hate Mumford & Sons in the coming days, burying talk about how off-key Taylor Swift was once again (though not as bad as New Year’s or the 2010 Grammys). And this isn’t the fault of Mumford, it is the fault of this ridiculous habit of the music business to take successful artists and make them ubiquitous to the point of becoming polarizing.

10:30 – Welp, it’s over. Composing a few final thoughts….

10:27 – Tom Morello: Biggest hack guitar player, only popular because of his outspoken politics.

10:26 – LL Cool J released his last album in 2008. So why does he get a performance?

10:18 – RIP “roots” as a popular music influence. Let the backlash begin!

10:15 – The winner for “Album of the Year” is Babel by Mumford & Sons.

10:11 – So now we’re paying tribute to Elton John, whose gotten face time twice tonight? Why? What is the point? What are the Grammys trying to say? What is the direction of tonight? A lot of the stuff that has happened tonight, I don’t get why it is here. We’re supposed to be reflecting back on the last year in music.

10:02 – What is T Bone Burnett & Mumford doing in this tribute except trying to grab some face time? Unimpressed.

10:00 – Funny observation from Farce The Music about the RIP montage, “Metallica died?!?! Oh no.”

9:59 – Levon Helm tribute = too busy. Nothing is more powerful than one artist and one performance.

9:57  – When he passes, will they play tribute to Robbie Robertson who wrote nearly all of The Band’s songs, and who Jimi Hendrix called his favorite guitar player? Just asking.

9:53 – Grammys will be recognizing music teachers starting next year. Good thing. I believe music education is the way to solve many of our music problems, including many that were showcased tonight on this award show.

9:47 – Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys will be the biggest winner of the night with 4 Grammys.

9:43 – Goyte shows some class by paying tribute to all the musicians not being showcased at The Grammys.

9:40 – “Record of the Year” winner is Goyte with “Somebody I Used To Know.” Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” gets snubbed.

9:34 – Carrie Underwood has one of the best voices in country and she’s hard to hate, but “Blown Away” is not country whatsoever.

9:31 – After Fun just got done telling us they’ve been around for 12 years, they win “Best New Artist. ” So does that erase all the street cred they were trying to build?

9:30 – Hey “Fun” guy, women pee, guys piss.

9:27 – The winner for “Best New Artist” is “Fun”

9:26 – And to present the next award, Katy Perry’s breasts!

9:25 – Sorry, but my love for Jack White’s authenticity and his vintage Nudie suit isn’t making up for the fact that he’s wearing too much makeup, and putting out stupid fake stage energy.

9:22 – Elizabeth Cook has been firing off some funny tweets over the night : “If Rihanna sings on The Weight Im gonna be so pissed. #grammyrealness” “I would totally go clubbing with Bruno Mars horn section.” “Hunter Hayes!? I didnt know Taylor Swift was transgender!”

9:21 – Love Jack White’s all girl band. He could have gone a little lighter on the Cover Girl himself though.

9:19 – The real winners for all the Mumford / Lumineers success is The Avett Brothers who were playing a bass drum and cymbal and emotional rootsy songs before those other bands had sprouted pubic hair.

9:17 – Hang in there folks, Levon Helm tribute coming up!

9:15 – Biggest Grammy headlines with 45 minutes left to go are Kelly Clarkson’s performance of songs not released in 2012, and how incredibly flat the whole presentation has been this year.

9:09 – When did Sting turn into Max Headroom?

9:08 – Go no problem with Bob Marley, it’s good they’re paying tribute to somebody, but why now? It’s it some Bob Marley anniversary? Did reggae enjoy some resurgence this year? I don’t get it. A lot more folks deserving tribute this year, folks who passed away who will never get another chance. Goes along with the unfocused, ambiguous theme and direction of this year’s awards.

9:01 – Twitter war going down as we speak apparently between Taylor Swift and One Direction fans because Taylor used a British accent during her performance, apparently to mock her ex-beau whose in the boy band.

8:59 – Zac Brown finally forgoes the sweaty toboggan to rock the Hasidic jew look.

8:57 – The winner for Best Country Album is “Uncaged” by Zac Brown Band. Could’ve been much worse folks!

8:56 – Kelly Clarkson delivers probably the most inspiring performance of the night so far paying tribute to Patti Page and Carole King, showcasing music that has stood the test of time.

8:52 – The Preservation Jazz Band’s keyboard player looks like he should be piloting a dune buggy in Mad Max.

8:50 – Man they’re shoving that “Two Broke Girls” down our throats. For the record, that show sucks, and the girls being hot doesn’t make up for it.

8:48 – Seriously, up to this point this is the most boring awards show I’ve ever seen. There’s not really been anything even worth making fun of, let alone inspiring. Music’s biggest night is letting me down

8:46 – Some people won some Lifetime Achievement awards or something. Old people, you know. If you blinked, you missed them.

8:41 – The winners for “Best Rap Collaboration” are “No Church in the Wild” Frank Ocean and Kanye West

8:39 – Wow, I’m telling you, all these performance are flat, uninspiring, average, especially for the Grammys.

8:36 – It took two hours to perfect Rihanna’s cleavage glisten.

8:34 – It’s a win for Chris Brown if he can get out of the building without beating the shit out of somebody.

8:27 – The winner for “Best Pop Vocal Album” is “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson. So is this a win for country?

8:22 – Is it me, or is the entire Grammy presentation this year incredibly flat and non-engaging so far? Just no momentum.

8:21 – The winner for Best Rock Performance is “Lonely Boy” by The Black Keys. The roots dominance continues.

8:20 – Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys won “Producer of the Year”

8:15 – For context, Frank Ocean who just won that last award, was assaulted by Chris Brown, who just lost to him. Justice served. Look at the scoreboard Chris.

8:12 – The only thing Chris Brown deserves to be presented with is a court summons and a restraining order.

8:06 – Justin Timberlake, quit acting like you’re still relevant and get back to fixing MySpace. We’re all tired of Facebook!

8:05 – Is it coincidence that the color scheme Beyonce’s dress is the same exact one Garth Brooks had on the cover of The Chase?

7:56 – This Mumford song is already too ubiquitous for the performance to have any impact.

7:55 – If Mumford & Sons win Album of the Year tonight, it could very well be the beginning of a popular backlash against “roots” music. A Mumford backlash has been the big topic over Grammy weekend.

7:53 – Is this “Fun” dude expecting to forge a river tonight? Someone get that dude some full-length drawers.

7:50 – Tim McGraw used a special type of rare, expensive plastic in his hat for this special occasion.

7:48 – Funny observance from Dub Miller on Twitter about Carrie Underwood win: “Proof that country music is an antiquated genre, and has replaced adult contemporary as the best way to sell tampons & toilet tissue…”

7:43 – Carrie Underwood wins for “Blown Away” despite the song not being country, whatsoever.

7:42- Appropriate that a couple of rappers introduce a country award.

7:41 – If you stare at this rapper’s getup long enough, you can see unicorns vomiting. It’s called an optical illusion.

7:39 – Wow, what a popcorn fart of a tribute to Dick Clark.

7:38 – This song “Home” is currently in the courts because Jason Isbell claims it was stolen from his song “In A Razor Town.”

7:35 – What is wrong with the vocals here?

7:33 – “Over You” is the song Miranda Lamber and Blake Shelton wrote together about Blake’s brother who died young.

7:30 –  Already a good night for bad music. Little Big Town already one before the telecast for Best Country Duo / Group.

7:20 – So they already gave away a tremendous amount of awards tonight, including some of the important country awards. We’ll try to get caught up with them during the commercial breaks.

7:19 – Even Jennifer Lopez thinks Pit Bull is a douche bag.

7:17 – Sorry folks we’re getting a late start here. Technical difficulties abound. But I believe we have everything fixed now.