Seriously, Lay Off Dolly Parton for This Emmy Awards Stuff

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The Emmy Awards were on Sunday evening, and like any self-respecting individual, I politely abstained from the presentation, seeing no reason that my duties as the majordomo of Saving Country Music would mean my attention to some television awards dog and pony show would be required. Yet lo and behold, one of country music’s most legendary personalities was front and center in arguably the event’s most politically-charged moment on a politically-charged night.

Dolly Parton, appearing in the capacity of one of the primary cast members for the 1980 smash comedy 9 to 5, took the stage with fellow leads from the movie Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, to hand out the evening’s Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries award. Dolly spoke first, saying how she has been waiting for a reunion with Lily and Jane ever since the movie grossed over $100 million, and launched Parton as a primary leading lady in Hollywood for many years afterwards, along with launching her music career into the stratosphere. Lily and Jane decided to use the platform to launch into our fair President.

“In 1980, we refused to be controlled by aย sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot boss,” Jane Fonda said.

“And in 2017 we still refuse to be controlled by a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot boss,” Tomlin followed, with obvious applause from the crowd.

The whole time Dolly just made funny faces, and aside from delivering a folksy “Hello!” and later calling Lily and Jane “shock and awe” [EDIT: apparently Dolly was referring to her breasts, not Lily and Jane], she generally avoided the controversial moment, though for some she made her own when she made an off-color remark about hoping there would be a vibrator in her Emmy Awards goodie bag. Of course it was in good humor, but unfortunately many Dolly Parton fans could not keep from flinching offsides, and took to social media to rail against Parton for being a party to such disrespect of Mr. Trump, and did so in such large quantities that it’s become a national headline.

First off, Dolly Parton didn’t do anything wrong. I guess some wanted her to spit in Lily’s Tomlin’s face for disrespect, but guess what, that’s not Dolly’s style. Surprised that Dolly Parton is hanging out with rank and file liberals? Well guess what folks, she did a movie with Hanoi Jane back in 1980. It was called 9 to 5. That’s the reason Dolly was on the Emmy’s. Well that, and her Coat of Many Colors TV movie was also nominated.

So you know, get the hell over it. Dolly Parton is a gift bestowed to us otherwise downtrodden and depressed apes moving about the crust of the godforsaken earth with slumped shoulders, looking for meaning and respite from boredom, and I’ll be damned if a bunch of tight asses will run her down for something she didn’t do. And you want to know just how dumb this controversy is? At the same time folks are calling out Dolly for such a shameless act of treason, there’s others on her ass for not doing enough—for abstaining during the Emmy Awards moment as opposed to speaking up herself.

We’re losing our heroes left and right in America: Lance Armstrong, Bill Cosby, Jared Fogle. Actually screw that Jared Fogle guy, he was always a waste of flesh. But with so few authentic heroes and role models left, how about we we celebrate those among us who have exhibited integrity and the uplifting of the human spirit for countless years and across generations as opposed to running them down and overlooking their legacy just because of some perceived slight against our sensibilities, especially in such a politically-charged environment? Shit, you don’t want to know half the weird conspiracy theory stuff Willie Nelson is off in, or a lot of your favorite musical artists. They just don’t participate in it on national TV.

So don’t go selling your season passes to Dollywood on StubHub just because of something she didn’t say, or because some dinner theater she’s a partner in has a Civil War theme, or whatever other stupid-ass beef you might have that can’t allow you to see the forest for the trees when it comes to this woman’s contributions to mankind. Dolly Parton is a national treasure, and anyone all riled up about some ancillary incident she may or may not have participated in is just looking for things to be pissed off about. And that’s the the biggest slight against the spirit and wisdom of Dolly of them all.