The Taylor Swift Bikini Photo (A rant)

March 5, 2012 - By Trigger  //  Random Notes  //  24 Comments

I truly sympathize with Taylor Swift, and don’t give me any bullshit about how someone with her fame and money doesn’t deserve sympathy. After 100 or so years of the American cult of celebrity experiment resulting in scores of rehabs, overdoses, and ruined lives, I think we can conclude with certitude that the combination of fame and money does not solve problems for individuals, it fuels them.

So the girl flies over to Australia for an upcoming tour and decides to take a little R & R at the beach, and God forbid, wears a tasteful, full cut bikini while doing it, probably because she was relieved to be out of the scrutiny and obsession of America’s eagle eye, and lo and behold, the Aussie version of Jimmy Olson pops out from behind a barbie and starts snapping skin shots. Now half the country is criticizing her body (cue the Duracell AA joke series), while the other half is masturbating to it.

She’s a 22-year-old girl. Just in November, when being interviewed by 60 Minutes, in response to the question of being a role model she said, “I definitely think about a million people when I’m getting dressed in the morning…It would be really easy to say, ‘I’m 21 now, I do what I want, you raise your kids.’ But that’s not the truth of it. The truth of it is that every singer out there with songs on the radio is raising the next generation.”

In my 2010 article about her bombing her performances at The Grammys, (and that possibly inspired the double Grammy-winning song “Mean”) I said:

This is how it works: the mass public overly glorifies an otherwise average talent {or in this case, an average body} to make themselves feel “inspired,” and then when the fall starts for their starlet, it is meteoric, and fueled by the jealous, narcissistic hunger of the pop public, tearing that person down with all their spite, sinking their nails into their flesh and feeding like animals off their destruction to fill their vacuous egos. It is a sick, pathetic, and all too predictable cycle that I will not participate in.

And I won’t participate now, in either the flat chest line of humor, or the intellectually-indolent flesh worship, and you shouldn’t either. Can we just be thankful that for once there’s a female pop star that actually respects herself, and return that respect back lest our morbid obsession with her celebrity eventually ruins her? Turn TMZ off and find something better to do. Spend time with your kids, paint a picture, write a song, fix that toilet that’s been leaking for weeks. Christ.

Oh wait, you actually came here to see the photo?

Well fuck you, go find it yourself.

24 Comments to “The Taylor Swift Bikini Photo (A rant)”

  • Outstanding, son. On every level.

  • Well fucking done, Triggerman, well fucking done.

  • Good call. I don’t need to see it myself because you see, what I dislike about her is not her body, fashion sense or even her personality. I am disgusted by her watered down, nashville ass kissing music that lacks substance. Thats my problem. Let her so-called “fans” exploit those photos like the school of sharks they really are.

    • I kinda disagree tbh. I won’t say her music as an ass-kissing thing. True that she watered down some of her lyrics, but it was for backlash from gay community (let’s be honest, many of her male fans are gay). Not that it’s wrong with being gay, but media would have over-blown it if she decided to go with it.

      And perhaps she just sings about things that she knew. As she grows older, her music will change. Let’s think like this, a 22 yo Taylor, can you believe it if she sings about being, say, a 45 yo divorced woman?

      Give her time. Greatness doesn’t happen overnight.

      • I see what your saying but to me her music is the enemy, so I’ll respectfully disagree. We would not be having this conversation if it were not for her rich ass daddy who payed to put her in this position. She is not a true representation of authentic American music to me nor will she ever be. I do not care if she gets “better”, I do not care if she succeeds or fails. I simply must be a voice in this that says-thats not the real thing so please let’s call it”pop” with a cowboy hat instead of “country music”. I must be one of the folks that tells my children and other young people to watch out for the”Nike commercials”, to dig deeper for true representaions of American art and to know the difference between big money getting in the way and the natural progression of artists who create for the sake of art.

        • Daddy’s money will only bring you that far, if you don’t have the skills to back it up. Let’s be honest, no one can make it if you don’t play a little dirty in this modern era.

        • Also, I don’t know maybe it’s just me & my alternative/rock loving arse. Hell, my favourite bands are Nirvana & Joy Division. I really need to learn a lot about country tbh. lol.

    • An old article, from 2008. Read the last paragraph.

      • article wouldn’t load. copy and paste?

        • “Later on there will definitely be a huge temptation for me to make an alt-country record, something edgier and a little darker,” Ms. Swift said. But for now she’ll stick with what she knows, or knew: “songs that can be some sort of consolation for what people my age go through.

          Sorry for late response. That’s the most important part from that article.

    • A great singer once said, you have have to have steel up your spine, if you seek fame because fame is an intoxicating drug and makes you think you are immortal and immune to adversity. Ms. Swift has the fame now but not enough talent to ever be considered a great musician or singer. Hope she enjoys it while it lasts and has the spine to deal with it all and stay healthy because it’s mostly based on the youth, looks and the self aggrandizing of the current pop culture who live through pop starlets like Taylor….i.e., like Triggerman said, “the mass overly public glorify an otherwise average talent..”

  • After seeing Taylor shiw up the the pre-telecast Grammys ot pick up an award (I think it for a video for Mean.” I was sold they she is a class act. None of the other main acts in the Staples center, except for Taylor and the Foo Fighters, made the walk over to the L.A. Convention Center to pick up an award.

  • Love your take on it Triggerman, and your defense of someone who’s music you don’t approve of but who’s humanity and class you recognize. I think it’s sad that a bunch of losers online who probably have all kinds of weight and appearance issues get on and try to talk down about her appearance, when in actuality she is a lovely normal woman of 22, with some great features and some average ones, but completely representative of the broad spectrum of women.

    Those losers that get online and try to tear someone down for this or that just because they are famous are the pathetic, sickening part of the human race, not Taylor.

  • i’m all for folks having a job and all. but maybe somebody should pay the lowlifes at TMZ and related places not to come into work. nah, that won’t pan out. it would just create even more of them. nice write, trig.

  • Did she have that goofy suprise face in the picture?

    Poor girl.I hope the $100 million or so she has made in the past 4 years can help ease her pain.

    Seriously,I’m sure she is really heart broke over this as she is shinning her ETY awards and 150 other awards and gold records while feeding her koi fish in the pond in her living room.

    • Because we all know people with fame and money don’t have problems. The 27 club wants to have some words with you.

  • Spot on.

  • The ugly side of the internet is that we can live vicariously through our idols or tear them down. Sadly, it seems that many people use anonymity to choose both. I’m pretty pessimistic about the future of our society.

  • Thank you – good grief. The internet is such a wasteland of nonsense and crap. This is such a breath of fresh air, thank you. Our bizarre, celebrity worship is absurd and obscene and just thank you for saying this.

  • Just strengthen my opinion about today’s society. lol. Never over-estimate the intelligence of general public. Ha.

    I think media & society are really trying to make her as a new member of 27 club. I just can feel the ambition.

  • Must be a very slow news day when a 22 year old pop star makes headlines for wearing a bathing suit.

    Indeed, she looks adorable and very classy. However, I don’t know if she minded being papped as she emerged from the ocean: she’s wearing red lipstick!

  • By the way, I for one, appreciate you defending the honour of Miss Swift. Like you, I’m no fan of her music however I have no big bone to pick with her. She’s just some nice, young girl that happened to be in the right place at the right time to claim the pop-country music crown. She’s attained mega-stardom and still seems to be pretty unaffected by it all. If she’s proving to be a great role model for young girls by being modest, humble, kind and empowered, more power to her I say.

    Happy International Woman’s Day y’all!


    In case Taylor’s interested, this is how to pluck and play a banjo instead of putting guitar strings on it and strumming it. Just sayin….

  • hello? She’s go to beach right? I think I will not wearing a jeans & cowboy hat to swimming.. I don’t think you would either.

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