Another Setback for Dallas Cowboys After Thomas Rhett Named Thanksgiving Halftime Performer

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There’s yet another reason for players and fans of America’s Team to be disappointed on the direction of the current season. After finishing last year 13-3, and starting the 2017-2018 campaign as many people’s pick as a Super Bowl contender, the Dallas Cowboys have suffered another debilitating season setback after pop country lightweight and general power drain Thomas Rhett was recently announced as the halftime performer for their annual Thanksgiving Day game.

“If they wanted Bruno Mars, why not get the real thing instead of some white boy doofus riding off his daddy’s name with no soul, who can’t sing, can’t dance, and writes dumbass songs culturally appropriating hip-hop annunciations, and is bastardizing the legacy of real country music?” an incensed Dallas Cowboy’s backup tight end Jason Frankenfurter told the media on Tuesday, saying the news was taken especially hard by an already tenuous Cowboys locker room.

The announcement comes after the Cowboys lost again last week to the division rival Philadelphia Eagles, falling to 5-5 on the season. The team is slowly seeing their playoff hopes drift away due in part to the loss of all pro running back Ezekiel Elliott via suspension, all pro defensive captain Sean Lee for a hamstring injury, and other key personnel from the roster.

In his weekly press conference, Dallas Cowboys Head Coach Jason Garrett spoke about the news.

“We’re going to get through this as a team,” Garrett said. “We talk to our players all the time about adversity, and how every team faces adversity, and the ones who succeed are the teams to can meet that adversity and rise to the challenge by taking one day at a time, one play at a time, focusing on the task at hand, and winning in all three phases of the game: offense, defense, and special teams. It’s a process.”

Curiously, these were the same exact words Garrett uttered when he faced a similar controversy two years ago when Luke Bryan was announced as the Thanksgiving halftime performer, only adding the “It’s a process” part.

The opponent for the Cowboys during the November 23rd showdown will be the Los Angeles Chargers. National attention will surely be trained on the game, especially since certain players from both teams have promised to kneel during the National Anthem in protest of the terrible pick of Thomas Rhett as halftime performer.

Colin Kaepernick couldn’t be reached for comment, but has been on the record previously saying Thomas Rhett’s “Beer With Jesus” is a terrible premise for a song.