Cole Swindell’s Horrifically Generic “Chillin’ It” (A Rant)
Cole Swindell is the most not-having-any-bit-of-soul-or-culture human being I think I have ever observed on God’s whole creation. He’s the human equivalent of a piece of bleached white bread with the crust cut off, served with a glass of room temperature tap water. He’s more milk toast than Caspar, and more boring than a bowl of vanilla. It’s like a thermonuclear holocaust of culture and personality-scrubbing destruction swept over Cole Swindell while he was swimming in the very fissile material of the root detonation agent, leaving a man that is so vacant of anything interesting or distinguishable that he is the utmost purified and scientifically-verifiable essence of Miriam Webster’s unabridged definition of “generic” that could ever be procured as an example or proffered as evidence.
Whereas a lot of country music artists pay their dues sweating it out in honky tonks and clawing their way up the circuit, Cole Swindell got his start schlepping pop country panties for Luke Bryan. No, I’m not kidding. Swindell’s initial claim to fame was as a Luke Bryan merch peddler, landing the job because the two were Sigma Chi frat buddies at Georgia Southern. Swindell’s gone from trying to upsell you the T-shirt with Luke Bryan’s name highlighted in glittertext, to sharing the stage with his Georgia Southern buddy, tag teaming the unclean masses in impersonal stadium shows with ultra-slick, overproduced, and abominably-average lite rock drecky schlock.
“Chillin’ It”, just like Cole Swindell himself, is the refined, filtered, and homogenized version of something that was rapaciously trite and disappointing to being with. The first thing that pops in your head when hearing “Chillin’ It” is that it’s pretty blatantly Florida Georgia Line’s “Cruise” version 2.0. Except somehow, inexplicably, Swindell discovered how to do them even one worse by engineering something so aggressively vapid that labeling the song ‘bad’ even seems to bestow this spiritless, prosaic waste of effort with more personality and distinction than it actually contains or deserves. Even the pop country pom pom waver Billy Dukes of Taste of Country called “Chillin’ It” the “decaf version” of “Cruise”.
Of course, calling this song “Cruise Lite” makes even more sense when you look behind-the-scenes and see how Swindell was one of the co-writers on Florida Georgia Line’s song “That’s How We Roll” with Luke Bryan. “Chillin’ It” was cut in a studio with producer Jody Stevens playing every single piece of the music and Swindell singing. Next thing you know Swindell is being signed by Warner Bros. in the wake of the historic success of Florida Georgia Line in 2013, as everyone on Music Row is looking for their version of Scott Borchetta’s new pop country boy toy.
The video for “Chillin’ It” rises to the occasion of offering a fair visual representation of Swindell’s unparalleled mining of mediocrity. Beyond featuring the obvious elements of a pretty girl and classic trucks out in the country, the “Chillin’ It” video makes poor use of ‘B’ roll-quality footage taken with the sun obnoxiously hitting the camera lens. Cole Swindell is featured hanging out by a lake, white boy hip hop dancing with awkward and embarrassing gesticulations that make him look more ridiculous than your drunk and racist uncle when he’s mocking black people he sees on TV.
The whole vibe of the songs seems to be Cole trying up make up for the fact that he’s an uncultured, pasty white boy on the outside looking in of what is cool with his stupid, Ebonics-laden lyrics that go absolutely nowhere, and one of the most limp dick lyrical payoffs at the resolution of the chorus I think I’ve ever heard.
We don’t need another Florida Georgia Line Cole; one was already too much.
Two guns way down!
February 28, 2014 @ 10:30 am
At least you didn’t have to review the album (I did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQRoCU-YXPI) – and speaking honestly, ‘Chillin’ It’ is probably one of the better songs on the album. Think about that for a second.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:39 am
Thats a great review never seen this spectrum pulse guy hes good.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:19 am
That guy was funny. It would be cool to see Trigger video rants.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:34 am
His new album in its entirety is perhaps worse than this song alone. In case anyone wants to torture themselves…
February 28, 2014 @ 10:37 am
Play this song at the same time as “Drunk On You” and tell me it isn’t the EXACT SAME structure and accompaniment.
“Cruise” lyrics and “Drunk On You” sound… vomit inducing.
March 31, 2014 @ 4:43 am
That was my first impression. No wounder it sounds like shit.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:42 am
Here’s the thing…everyone you ask will tell you that they love music…very few people really do…many are such casual music listeners that all this bro country is right up a lot of folks’ alley…these people are also horribly stupid,devoid of culture and easily led…the kind of folks that think the behavior on “Party Down South” is perfectly acceptable…let em have it, I say….that way they don’t end up standing next to me at the next Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit show.
February 28, 2014 @ 1:54 pm
I’ll be at that Jason Isbell show!
April 12, 2022 @ 6:00 pm
Sure the video’s a little iffy but I know for a fact you can’t do any better….. so saying that keep you fing opinions too your self.
February 28, 2014 @ 3:40 pm
Wow, man. That was like, a perfect comment for this. Beautiful.
February 28, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
Everyone has a right to good music. The people who listen to Cole Swindell arguably need good music more than me or you. I understand what you’re saying, but bad music begets bad habits and bad people. No, I don’t want douchebags ruining Jason Isbell shows, but if they were listening to Jason Isbell in the first place, they may not be douchebags. Just as if they may have not been a douchebag until they started listening to Cole Swindell. My point is that isolation is not the answer, the answer is attempting to improve society through culture and music.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:01 pm
“bad music begets bad habits and bad people”
Here’s a great example: Southern music today is much worse than that in the 1950s, as we discuss all the time here. However, can we honestly argue that today’s generation of Southern whites are “worse people” than the 1950s generation?
February 28, 2014 @ 11:14 pm
I’m not saying music is the alpha and omega of people’s value systems. I’m saying that music is a contributing factor. If you listen to music that promotes materialism and objectifying women, you’re probably more likely to engage in those behaviors yourself.
March 1, 2014 @ 2:43 am
I still disagree.
Speaking from my perspective, listening to songs that promote certain values simply gives me a window into the singer’s values system. I analyze those songs from the point of view of an empathetic observer.
When I listen to well-written religious songs, for example, they give me a strong sense of respect for the singer’s beliefs, without affecting my own beliefs even one iota.
March 1, 2014 @ 7:02 am
Or rather Trigger, if you’re engaging in those bhaviors yourself, then your music will reflect that. And subsequently, hopefully, your music will encourage others to follow suite.
March 1, 2014 @ 8:19 am
Yes, they are. Their values are just more in line with what is acceptable.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:43 am
I honestly had no clue who this guy was until I read his name in the comments section on another article. I had managed to miss out on this gem until right now and took the plunge to actually listen to this song. I refuse to watch the video. “Cruise Lite” is perfect description. And so if I read the article right this guy went from peddling merch for Luke Bryant to recording this song while not playing an instrument and it went to the top of the charts? All I can say is the guy lives up to his last name. A fucking swindler in every sense of the word.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:55 pm
You said it, about this guy living up to his name! I’ll take it a step further:
The Great Rock N’ Cole Swindle.
I swear, this guy’s making it way too easy to mock him.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:46 am
“It”™s like a thermonuclear holocaust of culture and personality-scrubbing destruction swept over Cole Swindell while he was swimming in the very fissile material of the root detonation agent, leaving a man that is so vacant of anything interesting or distinguishable that he is the utmost purified and scientifically-verifiable essence of Miriam Webster”™s unabridged definition of ‘generic’ that could ever be procured as an example or proffered as evidence.”
Looking at the lyrics, man, it’s like they’re not even trying anymore — a go-with-the-flow shrug of a song. “Laid back and lazy” is right.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:50 am
The problem with this song is not so much it’s quality, but it’s more about how uterly boring and devoid of anything original it is. I mean, we’ve heard the same song like a million times but here it’s repackaged into something even worse mainly because this guy can’t even sing.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:59 am
If I hear one more song including a truck I’m gonna pull a Carrie Underwood and take a Louisville Slugger to the headlights of the damn truck. Seriously, I’m done with all of this Bro-Country.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:45 pm
There are a lot of great classic songs with lines about trucks (and there have been for so long). They just weren’t in every single song (or on every single album) What I really hate about this trend of abusing country cliches is it in some ways tarnishes older songs made when the cliches were seldom used (or used sparingly)
For example, Travis Tritt had a line about an old Ford Truck in “Country Club”. I can’t think of another Tritt song that had “truck” in it off the top of my head (“truck stop” was a line in the Bonnie and Clyde song). But, if I hear “Country Club” now I grimace at the “Old Ford Truck” line because I’m so hyper-sensitive now to hearing “truck” in a song.
Of course “Old Ford Truck” or beat up old truck was the way it used to be. Now people sing about jacked up trucks with giant tires. My theory is the average penis size of the modern country star is much shorter and they’re over-compensating in their truck references.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:05 am
Terrible. What I’m most mad about is the fact country music radio will blindly promote this garbage cause it’s safe. There’s not one DJ on commercial radio that will dare take a stand against this song and listeners will consume this song for a lack of better alternatives.
February 28, 2014 @ 8:56 pm
Thankfuly I’m an internet DJ who can and will take a pass.
May 23, 2021 @ 5:04 am
Cole has SWINDELLED his way on the charts because producers know what sells to raving hungry little girls: a pre-packaged and engineered one man boy band who can’t actually even play an instrument but can scoot around onstage with tight jeans and a backwards ball cap. They’ve been doing this for decades, most notably in the late 80s and early 90s with New Kids on the Block. When that appeal started to fade, they rebranded themselves a couple years later by suddenly remembering their gangsta roots and coming back as “NKOTB”. Like Swindell, it was laughable.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:10 am
Finally. I’ve been waiting for this for so long and you don’t disappoint.
The only thing you missed was sticking in the douche bag (Scott Barchetta like) devil sign picture:
February 28, 2014 @ 11:25 am
I’m not even going to bother to listen to this song because that’s one more tick on the views that will probably bring this to the top of the charts..much the same as Billy Ray.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:28 am
Thought this song was actually done by FGL the first couple times I was forced to listen to it. Good Lord is it bad. And I wish these douches would quit waving around the Georgia Southern name and making all of my relatives that have gone there look bad by proxy.
March 1, 2014 @ 10:15 am
Thought the same thing. Must be new FGL, they still suck. Had no idea it was someone wishing they were FGL. How godawful is that…
February 28, 2014 @ 11:31 am
When you review CDs, Trig, it alwasy seems that some are tricks and some are treats.
This one has fleas.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:35 am
I’m usually oblivious to the songs you rant about, but I actually had the displeasure of hearing this one. That was a painful experience, but it made reading the rant a lot more fun. (By the way I thought the rants were retired?)
I think this song is very poor. To say that it’s a warmed-over regurgitation of every bro-country cliche is, in and of itself, almost too obvious to say. To my mind, the sole achievement of “Cruise,” which I hated, was that it was memorably catchy, if only in an annoying earworm sort of this way. This one is completely forgettable.
I also deduct points for naming a song “Chillin It,” a weird take on a slang phrase that’s ten or fifteen years old by now.
Also, I have nothing against fraternities per se, but the fact that this new dude on the block was literally a frat brother of Luke Bryan is hilarious. That is way too stereotypical to be true.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:39 am
Just a couple of issues:
1) Let’s not give this song more respect than it deserves by labeling it as a “#1 hit”. According to country airplay, the only metric that matters when it comes to determining what song is terrorizing our ears the most on country radio, “Chillin’ It” is at #2.
2) Following the example of Melody Williamson, the line “white boy hip hop dancing” could be replaced by “country boy hip hop dancing”.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:03 pm
I hear ya Eric but it is #1 on that mongrel chart Billboard has and it is #2 on the radio chart and the deficit was very small behind the Aldean song in it’s second week at #1 so I fear it will hit the top next week. The lack of quality of the top ten is truly breathtaking. It is a total wasteland with exception of ‘I Hold On’.
March 1, 2014 @ 11:22 am
For real. Top 40 country music for the last 6 months has been truly awful. The worst culprit is Tim McGraw’s “Lookin for that Girl.” It’s like T-Pain meets old white dude trying to get one more hit in before retiring.
February 28, 2014 @ 5:00 pm
Well, they got black country boys too, and they can dance their asses off. Not so much with the average white country boy. THAT’S WHY IT’S SO FUNNY!!
February 28, 2014 @ 11:41 am
At least “Cruise” had halfway decent instrumentation. This is just modern-pop electronic beat trash.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:26 pm
Yep. Although holding something up to Cruise as a standard or achievement is a pretty low point.
February 28, 2014 @ 11:41 am
I was in Nashville for a week for work this month and was sitting at a bar as some cover band was playing one afternoon. When they started playing this song I immediately looked to the person next to me and said “what the fuck is this?” Absolute garbage.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:01 pm
Yuck. I need a bucket.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:27 pm
I’ll hold your hair, but I get the bucket next.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:31 pm
OK, OK, I’ll admit it.
I got to one minute and fourteen seconds.
But I was taking a piss at the time.
You know what really smokes my filter?
What’s with all these gangsta rap hand movements???
OK, so you can’t play an instrument, put your hands in yer freakin’ pockets for christ’s sake.
February 28, 2014 @ 1:25 pm
Hand signs are the hallmark of being a douche bag and required learning when you join a Frat.
I have never met someone that was a member of a frat that I didn’t think was a douche bag or condescending prick. It could happen, but so far it hasn’t.
February 28, 2014 @ 1:30 pm
Ok, douchebag, perhaps, but I wonder what college this quiz kid went to to learn how to sell panties.
February 28, 2014 @ 2:57 pm
Like it or not, the fratboy demographic is who these crappy songs are being marketed to. And Cole Swindell and Luke Bryan were fraternity brothers at Georgia Southern apparently.
March 2, 2014 @ 2:17 pm
reminds me of a line from J.J. Grey song, Dirtfloorcracker;
“all they’ve ever known their TV taught them”.
All primates can mimic,
February 28, 2014 @ 12:43 pm
Hold on, “Chillin It” is not by Luke Bryan? Mind = Blown.
February 28, 2014 @ 12:47 pm
Wait… This isn’t Florida Georgia Line???
February 28, 2014 @ 12:54 pm
Let’s not forget that this musical genius is one of the co-writers of Thomas Rhett’s ‘Get Me Some Of That’ which is equally as bad as this garbage.
Adam Carolla is fond of saying that Mountain Dew is the nectar of the ‘tards and I would argue that FGL/Swindell/Bryan/Rhett are the Willie & Waylon of the ‘tards. The quality of the country music hitmakers is at an all time low.
The cultural decay is reaching dangerous levels.
February 28, 2014 @ 1:06 pm
“You’re scannin’ through the stations looking for that country sound” — yep, after hearing this, I’m still scannin’ (or better yet, putting in a CD).
I actually did think it was Florida Georgia line the first time I heard it. Nothing stand out about it at all. Guess that’s why even though I’ve somewhat heard it several time, when I heard his name and the song name not too long ago, I had no idea who/what they were talking about until I heard the first couple lines. Ahh, for some lyrics about old dogs and children and watermelon wine again …
February 28, 2014 @ 2:24 pm
Something else that has occurred to me regarding this whole bro-country debate…what country music critics are routinely failing to do is to point the finger at Nashville’s aging business model…There are more songwriters in Nashville than there maybe ought to be…why does a song about tailgates,beer and girls in painted on jeans require 3 or 4 people to cut,copy and paste it together…when people are driving in to work to sit around a conference table in a Nashville high-rise to come up with the latest Luke Bryan hit, you’re not going to end up with a very heartfelt,genuine and personal sentiment…you end up with “My Kinda Night”…while I can appreciate the talent required to sing tunes written by other people, I hold in much greater esteem those who write their own material…who wrote a more personal record last year than Jason Isbell?…and say what you like about Eric Church, but he wrote or co-wrote every single tune on “The Outsiders”…perhaps, if more folks did the same, we’d have fewer hacks like Dallas Davidson busting their asses to cater to tasteless market trends…
February 28, 2014 @ 2:57 pm
While I agree with just about everything you said I will quibble with your Eric Church point. Every song on ‘The Outsiders’ is listed as a co-write with a few by three or four people and Church is always one of them yes but it includes Luke Laird and Casey Beathard who have their hands on some of the dumbest songs imaginable (Laird’s ‘Hillbilly Bone’) so I’m not sure that is the best example.
But your main point is spot on.
February 28, 2014 @ 4:58 pm
You got me…I guess Eric Church wasn’t a good example…perhaps Guy Clark would be a better example…it also occurred to me that these songwriting committees are being irresponsible and disrespectful to the rich history of the genre by responding to trends like bro-country by piling on more and more dreck instead of being taste makers and steering the teenagers away from this crap…producers also share this responsibility…don’t drench songs in autotune,please and thank you…that aint country…
February 28, 2014 @ 10:40 pm
There is nothing wrong with co-writing. It could mean something as simple as editing a song. Kacey Musgraves’s and even Brandy Clark’s songs were generally co-written with one or two other songwriters. Four of the songs on “Same Trailer Different Park” were written with Luke Laird, including great ones like “It Is What It Is” or “Keep It to Yourself”.
February 28, 2014 @ 5:49 pm
The thing is, beyond Cole’s merch job, the way he came up through the country music ranks was as a songwriter. Ironically, that’s also how Luke Bryan came up through the ranks too. They both wrote songs for others and they became hits, and that’s how they got noticed. There is no more honky tonk farm system in country music, everything is run through these songwriting committees. And it’s not just happening with men. Kacey Musgraves, Brandy Clark, Ashley Monroe, they all got their break as songwriters.
I agree it’s ridiculous how many people it takes to write a song these days. One of the reasons is because people feel if they can get a famous or hot name on a song, it’s more likely to be cut. And performers are more likely to cut a song if you give them a songwriting credit.
ninja turtle head
February 28, 2014 @ 2:41 pm
you want to see something horrific, check out cole swindell without a hat
February 28, 2014 @ 5:51 pm
I really wanted to post a picture of a hatless Cole Swindell here, but due to the rights on all the photos I didn’t want to take the risk, especially with all the unfavorable things I had to say.
February 28, 2014 @ 9:36 pm
Forgive me for asking, but what’s the hat hiding?
Is he a morehead?
More head than hair?
Or is there a tattoo of vanilla ice under there?
March 2, 2014 @ 1:35 pm
i am pretty sure it hides the dents from the frontal lobotomy.
February 28, 2014 @ 2:52 pm
Everything about that song/video is just plain awkward. Not only is it a terrible song, but it actually made me anxious watching the video. Cripes.
February 28, 2014 @ 3:07 pm
February 28, 2014 @ 3:18 pm
If only Cole Swindell would/could record music country as his name sounds, yes?
February 28, 2014 @ 4:49 pm
Well thanks for saving us from being Swindelled
February 28, 2014 @ 4:56 pm
Saw him on one of the late night shows…as Leather said..those dumb ass hand moves were embarrassing…
And Stak..”why does a song about tailgates,beer and girls in painted on jeans require 3 or 4 people to cut,copy and paste it together”¦”
It’s all about $$$$…everyone, especially publishers, are scared of drying up profits, so their chances of getting a cut if they can connect their songwriters with as many other songwriters, from other publishers, as possible…and artists want a little cut, so they ‘co-write’…even if they cant write a song to save their life.
Everyone is scared…and greedy….all they want, as I’ve been told several times…Is “a bit money hit”…no publishers want anything different…
I played a couple of songs during a pitch session to a Nashville publisher who, as they all do, was looking for something ‘different’. What he liked was safe, generic, pop songs..the same old same old…
February 28, 2014 @ 5:03 pm
experienced that myself…some demo tracks I played on were pitched to a couple of different labels…one tune was called “What I Hate About Church” and it’s your typical country Sunday after a binge regret tune but the premise was that the women are all so pretty and made up that it made the main character just want to sin again…we were told country music radio wouldn’t play it because of the title…yet, bro country gets spins…smh
February 28, 2014 @ 5:06 pm
I made it through 14 seconds of the video. I am so fricking glad Garth is coming back, writing and recording new stuff.
February 28, 2014 @ 5:19 pm
I have never heard the phrase “chillin’ it” anywhere but in this song.
February 28, 2014 @ 5:30 pm
Unfortunately I saw a Paulie Shore movie 20 years ago, so I’ve heard the word used before.
February 28, 2014 @ 6:25 pm
I know! I do hear “chill” or “chillin,” but I have never heard the phrase “chillin’ it.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:50 pm
Could be worse. He could be saying, “Hey Buuuuuuudy!”, ala Paulie Shore.
Strait Country 81
February 28, 2014 @ 6:28 pm
Here’s jones to get the shitty song out of your mind
March 1, 2014 @ 12:36 am
Now that right there is a damn real beer drinking song, not some summer moolight tailgate bimbo bullshit.
February 28, 2014 @ 6:49 pm
This song might be the worst song of the year and it’s not even March!! The state of Georgia needs to start locking down their borders and quit letting all these douchbags get out.
February 28, 2014 @ 8:00 pm
Phil…very intuitive. Thank you for your help, I do have long hair. ROFL
February 28, 2014 @ 8:10 pm
Nice looking Blazer. And that’s all I have to say…
February 28, 2014 @ 9:08 pm
That was the best review , I have ever read on an album. That was awesome! Istill can’t believe these record execs think this shit is worth putting on tape. It is so utterly amazing how they have screwed the perception of our genre. Hank Williams is rolling in his grave.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:23 pm
My question: is he also referencing/name dropping DUCK DYNASTY by using “Jack” at the end of his sentences in this song?
Wouldn’t surprise me, coming from this intellectually bankrupt cretin.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:38 pm
Trigger, slightly off topic here, but would you review Dean Brody’s uber-turd of a new song, “Crop Circles”? One of the worst truck/good ‘ol boys havin’ fun tunes, crossed with a moronic UFO theme. Yeah, you read that right….a UFO theme. Must be heard to be believed.
I’m sorry that Dean Brody’s music is lumped in the country category. Besides this song, his crappy “Bounty” and “Canadian Girls” are cringe-worthy as well. “Crap Circles” is easily the crap icing on a dirt cake, though. I heard the sing this morning and immediately thought of this site, and how it would be fodder for a review here.
February 28, 2014 @ 10:53 pm
Please pardon the typos in the above post! 🙂 you can’t edit a post, apparently!
March 1, 2014 @ 1:47 am
Between him and Dallas Smith, they’re proof that mainstream Canadian country artists are no more mature than American ones are.
The difference is that Canadian radio (at least presently) allows more breathing space for a wider pool of legitimate talent.
March 1, 2014 @ 12:46 am
I came to country music out of pure misery. I relate(d) to songs like “Cold Grey Tomb of Stone” and “I Saw The Light”, hell they probably even saved my life. This fucking shit IS NOT Country music. There’s a place for songs like “Hey Good Lookin'” and the Saturday Night-Sunday Morning theme, but this glorification of excess is as country as fucking Elton John. And this is coming from a suburban boy from the North. Guess what, I’m more “country” than these fuckers because I am who I am, and if you don’t like it then too damn bad. That’s country, not selling your artistic and personal integrity for money like these fratboy asshats do. Sorry for the vitrol and semi self-glorification, but this shit just pisses me the hell off.
March 1, 2014 @ 3:09 am
Just got home from working a Luke Bryan, Lee Brice, and Cole Swindell concert. About the only decent song Swindell played was “Ain’t Worth the Whiskey” and I’m pretty damn sure it’s a watered down version of something I’ve heard before.
This fuckin’ guy comes out for his soundcheck in one of those beanies with the tiny brim/bill, you know, the prototypical “bro-dbag” hat, essentially the fedora to the “hipster d-bag.”
At that point, I just couldn’t even pretend to take him seriously. Then Lee Brice rapped, and the wheels not only fell off the wagon, but crumbled into dust.
And the night wasn’t over. While Luke Bryan is a great performer…he played a ton of his party shit from his spring break albums. Songs like “Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye,” “Do I,” and “Drink a Beer” tried to make up for the snowballing atrocities, but it just couldn’t be done.
At least I made some good money, today.
March 1, 2014 @ 6:24 am
Oh yeah. It’s almost that time of the year when Luke Bryan releases another “Spring Break” CD (which will be a bunch of old party songs cleverly disguised as a new CD).
A visor beanie, really? (snicker).
Item #2 from “Poser” from the Urban dictionary (which references douche bag):
2. anybody who wears a visor beanie
March 1, 2014 @ 3:04 pm
Hey Bware… do you live in Fargo? becuase we just had luke bryan here and I was wondering if were talking about the same concert!
March 1, 2014 @ 3:09 pm
I don’t live in Fargo, no, but that was the show I worked. While the music wasn’t my forte, I did love to the see the Dome packed.
What’s crazy is it wasn’t even close to as loud as it is when the Herd plays.
March 1, 2014 @ 6:17 am
“limp dick lyrical payoffs at the resolution of the chorus”- lolololololol
March 1, 2014 @ 7:27 am
I clicked on the Youtube video and found that someone had copied and pasted Trigger’s rant into the comment section heh heh.
But the number of enthusiastic “this is my jam!” type comments from people was dispiriting. I guess youtube comment sections have always been refuges of stupidity, but it’s still disturbing.
March 1, 2014 @ 8:32 am
I have to admit. If I could choose one bro country “artist” as a guilty pleasure on my playlist. It’s this guy. He has some potential to be legit good. He needs Frank Foster to start writing his stuff then maybe he’ll be real good.
March 1, 2014 @ 8:44 am
I’m not gonna comment on this song and will just accept that radio already played it to #1 but it sucks that they are playing more and more pop and “bro country” while ignoring great actual country artists and songs. Also since they played another dude’s debut single to #1 why not do the same for Danielle Bradbery’s debut? Radio almost never does that for a woman and does for men every year. The last time they played a woman’s debut to #1 was nine years ago. Chillin’ It is a big seller but radio plays many songs with lower sales past great country songs, leaving the country to tank.
March 1, 2014 @ 9:30 am
This guy is “Just the Beginning” of a long line of bad clones that is on the way….but it’s selling, integrity be damned….
I can think of two more out there hitting the radio but I don’t want to even tarnish this website by mentioning their names. Or give them any extra exposure.
I am sure readers of this site already know who they are.
March 1, 2014 @ 10:01 am
I wonder which two you are referring to
March 1, 2014 @ 6:00 pm
I don’t see every article article on this site, so if these two have been written about already my apologies.
Chase Rice. Ready Set Roll
Sam Hunt: Raised on it.
neither one you will be able to listen to in their entirety
Similiar stuff as the Cole or FGL
March 1, 2014 @ 8:12 pm
I’ve heard of Chase Rice. Not the other guy tho. I guess that’s why Chase Rice’s EP Ready Set Roll hasn’t sold much. Imagine if he gets radio support. Ol trigger will be writing rant after rant against this guy
March 1, 2014 @ 9:44 pm
Chase Rice’s Ready Set Roll EP peaked at #4 on the country charts. He’s also the co-writer on FGL’s ‘Cruise’.
March 1, 2014 @ 10:41 pm
And Chase’s single is #44 and climbing radio, passing some much better country songs (like radio does for many men no matter how bad their songs are). Another hot guy with crappy shallow pop/rap music. He started out with much better country music then hopped on the bro-train, maybe after seeing Crui$e dollar signs. iTunes reviews of his EP are a good read and show that his own fans are upset and disappointed that he went bro.
March 1, 2014 @ 9:56 am
At this point stunning mediocrity is almost preferable. Has anyone previewed the song “Donkey” from Jerrod Niemann’s upcoming album? It could be the worst song of all time (I know the Worst Song of All Time is being released every months right now, but just listen to it.)
March 4, 2014 @ 7:13 pm
I made it about 3 seconds into a sample I found online. Seriously, 3 seconds.
March 6, 2016 @ 7:40 pm
For fuck’s sake, if you can’t understand that the song is a joke, then the joke’s on you.
I like good country music far more than what is on today’s radio, but you idiots just look for things to bitch about.
March 1, 2014 @ 11:07 am
This is one o the best reviews of all time.
March 1, 2014 @ 1:54 pm
This is why I no longer tell people I like and listen to country music. I’d be ashamed to have people think I like this stuff. I can’t wait till Ameripoltan gets it’s foot hold and more people are familiar with it and the artists.
March 1, 2014 @ 3:31 pm
Wait…this guy is catching hell because his song called ‘chillin it’ is too bland and laid back? This, coming from the same bunch who was so tore up about Tyler Farr going Redneck Crazy??
Why is it OK to take RC so literally, and gloss right over the intended tone of this song?
You guys just like to bitch.
This song doesn’t suck half as bad as FGL, btw. If every other station is on commercial I will listen to it. Not so FGL. I will switch to a rock station first.
March 1, 2014 @ 4:20 pm
That’s a pretty gross reduction and generalization of the arguments being made that we’re ONLY criticizing songs because they’re boring, and then ONLY criticizing songs because they’re crazy, and so that makes us either hypocrites, or not pleased by anything. Music is a feeling, and either it has it, or it doesn’t. We do our best to describe these feelings, but this is not a science.
March 2, 2014 @ 12:47 am
I was the poor idiot who accidentely liked this comment. I respect your opinion, but if it ain’t got soul, then we’re going after it.
March 1, 2014 @ 5:31 pm
This song is certainly awful, but there is a song out right now called “Ready, Set, Roll” that makes “Chillin’ It” sound like “Folsom Prison Blues.” Okay, not really, but it is BAD.
March 1, 2014 @ 6:03 pm
If it’s the song I am thinking of ”¦ ughh.
March 1, 2014 @ 5:37 pm
I just want to know why it’s acceptable to refer to a white person as “pasty white” when a ton of bricks would fall on a white person for referring to a black person as ” black as coal” or “black as tar”. Seems like a double standard to me.
And white boys can dance-umm, Baryshnikov, Peter Martins, Eric Bruhn, just to name a few? Clogging, both Appalachian and Irish and Scottish style? Scottish sword dance?
Re this song-sounds like another one I can add to my long, long “don’t waste your time” list. Thanks for the heads-up.
March 1, 2014 @ 6:15 pm
FGL, Jerrod Niemann, Luke Bryan, Thomas Rhett, etc. all have catchy pop tunes geared to a younger crowd; tweens to 20 something”™s who spend money freely. You can’t avoid hearing their tunes if you are listening to commercial radio.
There are great young artists out there; one came to mind immediately, Charlie Worsham. On his Instagram profile he has the following: “I don’t sing about trucks”. Kudos!
March 1, 2014 @ 10:59 pm
Well, at least I know his bro-connections now. I was starting to think they were cloning these “artists” in a lab somewhere.
March 2, 2014 @ 4:04 am
Hey Trigger…have you written an article yet pondering the possibility that Florida Georgia Line is simply an experiment designed to find out how many times they can release the exact same song and have people eat it up? I mean, Stay was a nice break in the middle, but other than that, they’re other 4 songs are the exact same song.
March 2, 2014 @ 4:04 am
their** fucking eh.
March 2, 2014 @ 6:46 am
Pretty soon, Music Row will just start signing full college fraternities from all over the South.
Crescent City Country
March 2, 2014 @ 10:23 am
Gingers don’t have souls, or soul apparently.
March 2, 2014 @ 12:18 pm
The picture associated with the article tells me all I need to know.
March 2, 2014 @ 4:20 pm
Cole Swindell is just another painful example of a scronnie white boy that’s trying to move like he’s black. But it aint working.
March 3, 2014 @ 8:54 am
The still shot used as the illustration for this article speaks volumes…
March 3, 2014 @ 8:57 am
His dancing is like watered down version of this guy:
March 3, 2014 @ 9:11 am
I wish South Park would do a parody of this bro-country phenomenon.
March 3, 2014 @ 5:52 pm
I wish all artist like this would crawl back under their rocks.
March 3, 2014 @ 9:21 pm
If this song was a beer it would be.. Shit, I can’t even think of one this horrifically bad and bland at the same time. Maybe a Bud Light Lime-er-rita?
March 4, 2014 @ 12:31 am
Are you thinking of South Paw lite per chance?
March 4, 2014 @ 6:26 am
Holy hell, there’s so much pitch correction in this song that I think the fucking *banjo* is autotuned.
March 4, 2014 @ 1:32 pm
@activepuck or the banjo is computer generated
March 11, 2014 @ 3:24 pm
Doesn’t anyone notice that this song sounds exactly like Luke Bryan’s “Drunk on you”?
March 16, 2014 @ 10:29 am
This morning I was flipping channels and stopped on CMT because they were playing a Kacey Musgrave video.
The next video right after was Thomas Rhett’s “Get Me Some of That”. I had no idea who this Thomas Rhett guy was but I sat there watching it horrified. He looked like a clone of Cole Swindell. It was the most moronic and childish song and the only thing he could do was walk towards the camera making douche bag hand gestures.
Sure enough at the end, it listed the song writers as Rhett Akins and Cole Swindell. This guy is an infection.
October 25, 2014 @ 7:02 am
You guys are a bunch of dumb asses! If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it. You can cut on where came from, what he did to get to where he is all you want, fact is you have heard him, seen him. more than you can say for yourselves. Cole will be the next big thing. And who the hell is Jason Isbell, top of the charts like Cole? Surprised I haven’t heard of him. Maybe he will be lucky enough to have Cole write a song for him so people will know who the hell he is! Get used to him, he isn’t goin away anytime soon.
April 10, 2015 @ 7:18 am
I’m so done with people dogging on new country music. So it isn’t like it used to be, that’s okay. Don’t like the new stuff, just listen to the old stuff. Thanks.
August 27, 2015 @ 5:06 pm
Just stumbled upon this site. Trigger, you are a great writer. Thank you for being the new Lester Bangs.
August 27, 2015 @ 6:43 pm
Thanks Andy! Glad you found the site.