Jessica Simpson Gets The Boot !!!
Remember when we were all miffed as mamby pambys that pop diva Jessica Simpson had decided to “make the move” and go to Nashville and see if she could suckle on that sweet, lucrative pop country tit? Well apparently Jessica’s country career went over like a poop in a punch bowl, and is now, it would appear, curtains.
Oh yes, you know this development brings a little sunshine into my cold, cold heart.
You see, we all knew that Jessica Simpson was nothing but knockers and a pretty face (not that I dislike either of these), but apparently the pop country nation had to be SHOWN that she had no talent, and Jessica Simpson did not disappoint, with her album, OR her live performances.
Niagara Falls Review
You got to read this one it is funny as hell but here are some excerpts:
“It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck. At some point, a train knows where it’s going.”
“Simpson, on the other hand, has jumped the rails from pop to country like she’s trying on a new coat at Macy’s. And while the resulting album (“Do You Know”, out Sept. 9) might surprise some cynics, this cowgirl seems completely lost and desperate for approval on stage.”
“Dolly, it turns out, is Simpson’s prime inspiration for this move to country, but let’s be clear: The only thing Simpson has in common with Dolly Parton are huge ”¦ hair extensions.”
“Jessica Simpson cutting a country album falls fairly low on the surprise scale, especially given the still-mooing cash cow of modern Nashville. It’s also no shock to anyone who’s even casually followed her nine-year career that the girl can sing. But while it’s nice to hear her pipes free of breathless pop production, it’s a shame she ran with such bland, emotionally self-indulgent material for Do You Know. And though teaming up with frequent Carrie Underwood songwriter Hillary Lindsey for five tracks was a savvy move, we already have a Carrie Underwood, honey…and she probably turned these songs down. C+”
The Dallas Morning News
“How much should we expect from Jessica Simpson’s country music debut CD? If your answer is not much, then you won’t be disappointed. But for those of us who thought her first single “Come On Over” was a terrific slice of sultry pop-country that managed to tap into her lower register and make great use of an acoustic guitar, the rest of Do You Know proves totally listless.”
“More famous for being famous than for her modestly successful careers as a pop singer and actress, Jessica Simpson is but the latest erstwhile pop star to make a foray into the accommodating world of mainstream country. Unfortunately for Simpson, her debut album for the genre, Do You Know, only stands to perpetuate her problems of celebrity image and credibility. Though the first single, “Come On Over,” which borrows the title but none of the wit or strut from a Shania Twain hit, briefly cracked the Top 20 at country radio, the only memorable aspect about Simpson’s ostensible career reboot thus far has been a ridiculous feud she’s picked with Carrie Underwood.”
Now word is that Jessica might be going gospel or getting into religious studies. Well maybe Jeebus will finally tell her she’s got no talent, and stick to just being hot and trying to sell lipstick or Korean cars or whatever.
So maybe all hope isn’t lost for country music.
This is a good day for America.