Listening to Luke Bryan is NOT “What Makes You Country”
At this point, Luke Bryan couldn’t make a quality country record even if he wanted to. That ship has sailed. He’s now simply the figurehead of a franchise that employs a small army of merchandisers, managers, publicists, roadies, and side musicians, that leases an entire fleet of trucks and buses, helps pay the salaries of fat cat label executives executives, and not to mention the imperative to help prop up the entire commercial country industry itself as a flagship artist, selling a lock step corporate country lifestyle brand to America via outdoor outfitters, corporate beer sponsors, and domestic full size truck manufacturers, greasing the wheels of commerce and an insatiable appetite to consume by the American public.
Luke Bryan is the Ronald McDonald of country music. Millions and millions served, even if the fare is nothing more than palatable. So many paychecks and livelihoods beyond Bryan’s own inner circle depend on him taking center stage and shaking his ass for the amusement of millions each year that it is mandated his music delivers in a very well-ordered and predictable manner so that the superstructure of this whole mainstream country music facade is not rocked, lest it topple over and expose everything as the mother of all cultural ruses exploiting the Southern identity.
Luke Bryan releases singles for his franchise and his label, disregarding whatever desires he may have personally, or the little voices inside his head telling him what dreck he’s perpetrating on amiable and easily-influenced mainstream fans. Luke Bryan plays shows for the throngs, obsequiously delivering whatever they wish to hear in concert without an ounce of attempt to lead them to music or messages that may uplift or fulfill, as opposed to simply entertain.
But Luke Bryan’s albums are a little bit of a different story, especially in this climate where even some dedicated Luke Bryan junkies aren’t apt to seek out an entire album of music, or possess the attention span to sit through it even if they desired. Luke Bryan’s albums are for Luke Bryan, and the most dedicated of his fans.
Commercially, Luke Bryan’s albums have their purpose. They’re the bullpen for singles, and a merchandise play for live events. But as Luke Bryan and most of the top mainstream stars have done throughout their careers, they pepper their album releases with a bit more substance than you probably would expect, not just to make sure that they leave a legacy behind them that isn’t just indolent re-fried hip-hop beats with overdubbed banjo riffs strewn across popularity charts like discarded fast food wrappers littering an abandoned lot, but to also insulate these artist from the whims of trends that may help launch acts such as Florida Georgia Line or Sam Hunt into the stratosphere, but are severely questionable for sustaining such heights beyond a half decade. Because after all, when it comes an artist on the level of Luke Bryan, there’s a franchise to maintain.
Undoubtedly, Luke Bryan delivers on the promise to find some of the most terrible compositions out there for the taking on Music Row, and do them one worse by ravaging them with weak, electronic-based production autofiltered through the cloud of poor imagination. “Light It Up”—the lead single from his new album—was so bad and so vapid and slavish to the cellphone culture stultifying the unwashed masses of today, it even struggled to make its way up the charts that usually roll out the red carpet for a Luke Bryan song. Only by manipulations that mirror the type of acrobatics conjured in the studio to make something out of nothing was “Light It Up” willed to the top of radio, and of course, right on time to coincide with the album release.
What Makes You Country also includes other terrible examples of modern music, such as the age inappropriate “Out of Nowhere Girl” and “She’s A Hot One” where the 40-something Luke still holds onto his Spring Break past, or the melanoma-inducing “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset,” which struggles to even make sense lyrically, as does “Hungover in a Hotel Room” which attempts to make a happy memory out of a nauseating headache, or “Like You Say You Do,” which is just bad songwriting all the way around trying to be smart. During much of What Makes You Country, Luke answers the question of the title with “not much,” since electronic drums and synth create the soundscape for what are many times mediocre songwriting efforts even by Luke Bryan standards.
Yet Luke knows how to separate himself from the crowd of fly by nights like Chase Rice, Walker Hayes, and Chris Lane. That’s why he’s Luke. They could never pull off recording a song like “Most People Are Good.” Their shallow constituents (even by mainstream standards) would never stand for the type of fuddy-duddy message in this song. It even has the gall to assert, “I believe you love who you love ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of.” The songs “Drinkin’ Again” and “Hooked On It” are pretty indolent, but it’s difficult not to qualify them as “country” compared to most of today’s “country” songs. “Land of a Million Songs” might be a little too germane to the life of songwriters to find wide appeal, but is not terrible. And if it wasn’t for the electronic drums of the album’s final track “Win Life,” it wouldn’t be a half bad listen.
But it’s still Luke Bryan, and What Makes You Country feels much more like a work to reinforce the lifestyle mainstream country and its corporate sponsors want to cultivate to keep the fans indoctrinated and the machine flush with cash as opposed to a personal expression from Luke himself, or in any way a valid answer to the question the title poses.
In past eras, it was the performing artists who were willing to push boundaries and take chances who were crowned the best of a given time period. But now it’s those most willing to shut up, listen, and do what they’re told, with the only reward being a handsome payday. This may be what makes Luke Bryan, but that’s not what makes you country.
1 3/4 Guns DOWN (2.5/10)
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The Okay:
The very, very bad:
December 14, 2017 @ 9:41 am
Hey folks, just a heads up that you might see some stuff that looks out of place or weird on the site in the coming days as we do some maintenance and back end work in preparation to launching some very exciting new features for the upcoming year. Apologies for the dust, and stay tuned….
December 14, 2017 @ 10:00 am
Any chance of an open discussion board? I hate asking off topic questions on your articles and I think it would be a great way to share new artists or info that you don’t get to cover.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:16 am
I would say there is a chance of this.
December 14, 2017 @ 2:02 pm
Ooooooh, that could be really cool or a very nasty place. TDPRI has the perfect formula, there is no fighting, politics, religion, or obscenity allowed( one warning and you’re booted for life). I hope the site changes work out for the better.
December 16, 2017 @ 4:05 pm
I would love this. I often have questions that I know could be answered by other people here but they’re usually not relevant to the articles.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:38 pm
Site just ate a comment I tried to post. Don’t know why. Not happy ;(
December 14, 2017 @ 9:42 am
Title song sounds like a rehash of Hunting, Fishing and Loving Everyday to my ears.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:51 am
As someone about 25 years of age, I think I just regurgitated my morning breakfast listening to this shit.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:52 pm
that’s ok Peter ….a lot of us have been regurgitating 3 meals a day for well over a decade listening to this kind of shit . turn off your radio before and after meals .
December 14, 2017 @ 6:19 pm
Hey I came to country bc of modern crap but well heard whitey and cody and I’m not going back
December 16, 2017 @ 11:32 am
As much as I freaking loathe mainstream modern music. It is true that often people find their way back to old classic or non mainstream stuff through the mainstream. I just wish more people like yourself had the temerity and curiosity to look beyond the poisonous coal being shoveled into their musical furnace.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:59 am
Don’t be insulting Ronald McDonald.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:00 am
I could write a thesis on this whole “what makes you country” concept. I’ve been dealing with this since I was even a young kid. My hometown was all of 5,000 people at peak… But I didn’t live in my hometown. And my grandfather more or less grew up in the woods. Going back through the family line we were just poor pioneer farmhands in southern Indiana.
Yet I would go to school and these kids that lived in town, the big town of Mitchell, they’d have on their cowboy boots and buckles and then in high school they’d have their trucks and what-not, they’d play their Garth Brooks album and talk about being country. Even back then I was thinking, ‘Something amiss here.’
And their dads, they’d be out there tilling land on multi-thousand acre farms with huge Case-IH and Deere equipment that probably cost them over six figures. Meanwhile Dad would throw us kids in the back of a truck-be trailer and haul us back to the woods with a MF 245 to cut a load of wood with his beat-up old HomeLite chain saw.
And I think that touches on the whole thing right there. It’s the same old song, Luke Bryan and Garth Brooks and their ilk are those money-machine profiteers, the aristocracy of the industry. These guys like the Felkers of the world are real to us. They do art. They are country because they don’t know how to be any other way. They’re not trying to walk back down the social class hierarchy like Taylor Swift to try to be accepted by the plebes.
Hilariously I did well at school, was a math wiz, spelling bee champ, and not a star football or basketball player but rather a runner and pole vaulter. None of that was considered very country, even if I spent considerable amounts of time hammering steeples over barbed wire into cedar fence posts.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:10 am
YOU NAILED IT.
I posted something similar on an article a while back, but I think you did a better job putting it into words than I was able to.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:53 am
Our band played the Mitchell Persimmon Festival this year–good to see another Hoosier on here!
The steeples I hammered into fenceposts (usually locust) are probably still there–just southeast of you in Orange county. I was usually on the JD 60 putt-putting up and down those fields. The 2510 had the radio though, so that made the time go faster. I was all about rock then–now that I have a city job I’m back to country. Go figure.
When the second dollar was made making music corporate america was there taking 105 cents of it. And there’s no shortage of fools willing to chip in the nickel in hopes of making a dime. Once you become a bankable artist you are rode hard and not put up until you stop making the soccer moms wet (in Luke’s case anyway).
December 14, 2017 @ 11:16 am
That’s awesome. We’re right across the county line. I was baptized in Liberty Baptist Church, across the road from the farm.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:06 pm
Different state for me, but ditto on the message.
For country music to survive, it really needs at the forefront at least a few folks who can write and perform a song about real country life because they’ve lived it. Otherwise it’s all just an act, and if that’s all it is, it might as well be on Broadway.
December 14, 2017 @ 7:21 pm
Illinois?
December 14, 2017 @ 10:02 am
I actually thought there was as much good music as we’ve seen from a Luke album in some time. However, even on the songs that are good musically, the songwriting is cringe worthy.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:00 pm
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion that’s what makes us an individual I don’t agree with your bullshit personally their is a lot worse music out there in my opinion if you don’t agree with me I don’t care and yes I am one of those “rare” people who actually do listen to the entire albums like everyone else in this world I do have my favorite and the ones that completely gag me
December 14, 2017 @ 10:05 am
Staplegun has written garbage for this idiot which proves he himself is in fact,garbage
December 14, 2017 @ 10:10 am
I don’t agree. Just means that he had to wallow through a Shawshankian pipeline to get to where he wanted to be.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:14 am
Stapleton was putting food on the table jackwagon!
December 14, 2017 @ 10:17 am
And here come the “yes but…..”
December 14, 2017 @ 10:25 am
I’ve criticized Stapleton many times for writing some mild mainstream songs. But just to clarify, when Stapleton, or really anyone writes a song for a professional publishing house on Music Row, they’re not necessarily writing it for a specific artist. They’re writing a song, and then that song gets selected by an artist or their manager to be recorded. For example, when Stapleton wrote “Drink A Beer” with Jim Beavers, they had no idea if anyone would cut it. And who knows how we would feel about that song if some artist would have just it with more traditional production. I’m not trying to excuse Stapleton’s time as a mainstream songwriter, but it’s not like he was paling around with Luke, and decided to pen an album for him. The process is a lot more involved than that.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:28 pm
Trigger,
Let’s not forget that Stapleton also co-wrote and sung background vocals in Thomas Rhett’s horrific “South Side.” It seems he was well aware of what he was doing there.
How can that be excused or forgiven?
December 14, 2017 @ 10:00 pm
Gotta pay da bills Hank. Gots to pay da bills. Sometimes you gotta take on a job that pays even if it’s against what you’re all about. Not a Stapleton fan myself in the least for a matter of fact but I think we’ve all had to do a job we weren’t proud of to get a paycheck, so based on this I can forgive an artist for some transgressions here and there.
December 15, 2017 @ 5:45 am
True dat! I took many a recording session and/or road gig with John/Jane Q. Fucknozzle in order to watch my daughters dinner plate piled high underneath a paid for roof. I might wince at a memory or two, but, nary a regret.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:17 am
Luke has a lot of bad music but every album usually has two or three good songs on them. That is why I defend him when compared to Sam Hunt or FGL. Luke is not the major problem in country music.
By the way Chase Rice now has a little credibility and respect from me because of his duet with Ned LeDoux. They nailed This Cowboy’s Hat.
December 14, 2017 @ 11:24 am
Most people don’t know that This Cowboy’s Hat was Porter Waggoner’s last hit on the country charts in about 1983.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:55 pm
Chris LeDoux still recorded it first. I remember an early version of it appearing on one of his independent albums from the 70’s. I’m not really a fan of the Wagoner version either; it’s way too upbeat and lighthearted. The classic version of “This Cowboy’s Hat” (from the “Western Underground” album in ’91) is so powerful because of the haunting tone of the music. It really is a masterpiece.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:55 pm
I’ve always wondered what a biker gang was doing in a coffee shop.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:18 am
The title of this article had me falling off my chair while laughing hysterically
December 14, 2017 @ 10:49 am
I’d rather take my chances with Mexican tap water than listen to this album.
December 16, 2017 @ 7:34 pm
I would rather be waterboarded with raw sewage.
December 17, 2017 @ 5:58 am
Upping the ante…….I like it.
December 14, 2017 @ 11:17 am
Holy crap. Inspired writing on this one Trig!
December 14, 2017 @ 11:32 am
I think Luke and his people confuses what makes you “Country” (whatever that means. Country person? Country artist??) and the thing that’s argued about everyday on this site what elements actually make certain music fit into the category/genre that IS “Country music”. A title track and an album cover that kind of looks like this might be a Country album is misleading and bait and switch in my opinion. (like Granger Smiths latest abomination has and is). The contents of the album don’t match the cover. I made it through the album once and that was enough. It doesn’t matter he’ll always be able to fill the enormodome and keep people working.
December 14, 2017 @ 11:44 am
I think this is Luke’s best album in awhile…that said, it reflects the horror of his recent output because his best in awhile is still not good by any stretch, not even half good. That said, aside from “Light it Up,” there’s nothing here that immediately makes me want to kill myself. He’s got some bro-ish material, but it’s all like lame knockoffs from earlier albums, like half-assed renditions of his earlier terribleness. And the good stuff is quite good, I enjoy “Most People Are Good,” “Land of a Million Songs,” and “Drinking Again.” Ultimately, this album’s biggest flaw is that it’s woefully uninteresting, which is a mild improvement for Luke.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:07 pm
So …to paraphrase , Megan ( and I hope I’m understanding you correctly ) this album is not worth killing yourself over ? Now THAT’s some telling support for the record . I’ll pass,anyway because , of course , to each his own and I’d as soon not risk the possibility of being affected by it more dramatically .
I detest this singer and the damage he’s caused to COUNTRY music . The ” Ronald MacDonald ” comparison is soooo appropriate.
December 14, 2017 @ 11:46 am
should be called
What Makes You Money!
December 14, 2017 @ 11:48 am
MILLIONS OF FANS LOVE LUKE BRYAN AND HIS MUSIC AND I AM ONE OF THOSE FANS. JUST BECAUSE A LINE OR TWO IN A SONG AS “I BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE ARE GOOD” MAY NOT TICKLE YOUR EARS FOR THE MOST PART LUKE WAS A PEANUT FARMERS SON FROM GEORGIA AND I THINK THAT IS IN OUR COUNTRY. LUKE HAS DONE SOOO MUCH FOR COUNTRY MUSIC AND STAPLETON WROTE “DRINK A BEER” WAS A GREAT SONG AND SINGWRITER! THEY HELP PEOPLE IN SO MANY WAYS AND AS FOR MYSELF, SETTING ON MY ASS AND NIT CONTRIBUTING TO THE FUTHERMENT OF COUNTRY MUSIC, I APPLAUD LUKE AND AM PROUD OF HIS DELIVERANCE IN HOW HE THINKS HOW THE SONG “I BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE ARE GOOD” WAS SUNG! I WISH WE ALL THOUGHT THAT WAY AND WAS AS GOOD AND BLESSED AS LUKE BRYAN! SO I KEEP IT SIMPLE, “I LOVE LUKE BRYAN AND HIS COUNTRY MUSIC.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:15 pm
I liked “Most People Are Good” too, and went out of my way to say so.
And why are you yelling? We’re all right here.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:40 pm
So in summary:
– You need a new caps lock key.
– You REALLY love Luke Bryan.
– We real country fans don’t know anything about country music.
Does that cover it?
December 14, 2017 @ 12:48 pm
You missed the part about how a pop music singer taking up space on country charts is doing sooo much for country music.
December 14, 2017 @ 2:18 pm
Good catch!
December 14, 2017 @ 12:47 pm
If you like Luke Bryan and his “Country” music you probably also the music of “Hootie and the Silver Bullet Band.”
and eat at Outback Senorita
and drive a Ford Equinox
and any other improper combination of words
December 14, 2017 @ 3:07 pm
Are you hoarse after all that screaming?
December 14, 2017 @ 3:45 pm
Deloris, this take is magnificent.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:01 pm
LOUD NOISES!!!! LOUUUUUD NOOIIIISESSS!!!!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLLLING ABOUUUUUUT!!!
December 16, 2017 @ 1:26 am
God bless ya Deloris. You actually have good taste on this steaming pile of shit site.
April 16, 2019 @ 11:19 am
what makes you country is how you want to live your life, theirs no wrong way doing it, drink a beer was a tribute to his brother and sister and to people that’s lost loved ones, when he says you love who want to love, it’s whoever you love no matter what size, what gender you are, whoever your heart belongs to we all have loved or love someone that others didn’t like to see someone with it’s their life to love whoever makes them happy, light it up, is about living that person and feeling their cheating on you and you wanting them to call you light your phone up, I know everyone knows how that feels if not I’m sorry your missing out on love, I love Luke Bryan just like millions do, knocking boots again talking about getting your sex on with who you love, so if your down with that your missing out, I would rather have an upbeat happy country song than one that makes you more depressed than what someone already is and kills themselves cause it’s to depressing and it pushes you over the edge, FGL is awesome again upbeat but still country, it’s suppose to be fun and fun be happy people life is to short, get out of your comfort zone, live you don’t like country music don’t listen to it go listen to the screaming yelling for nothing that talks about killing each other and all the negatives like their isn’t enough of already have a great live be nice people
December 14, 2017 @ 11:55 am
I dont listen to Luke Bryan because it makes me country. I listen to him because i like it and its what makes me, me!
December 14, 2017 @ 12:03 pm
Luke Bryan is a soy boy. I’d rather be forced to watch CNN than listen to even one song off this album.
December 14, 2017 @ 3:42 pm
What’s with the whole “soyboy” thing I’ve been seeing lately?
December 14, 2017 @ 12:10 pm
Some different options for the title track
– What Makes You Want To Go Deaf
– What Makes You A Sellout
– What Makes You Look Like A Stupid Horny Teenager
December 14, 2017 @ 12:16 pm
I went to see Ricky Skaggs last Saturday. He put on a great show. Here’s a guy who cut his teeth on bluegrass music before having a nice run as a major country star; and when his star began to fade, rather than face the humiliation of opening for younger, hipper artists and playing free stages at state fairs where most of the people in the stands are only there to sit down and rest their feet, he put together an amazing group of pickers and returned to his bluegrass roots. At 63 years old he continues to fill the seats of small- to medium-sized venues playing traditional bluegrass in the style of Bill Monroe and the Stanley Brothers.
Which makes me wonder what will happen to Luke Bryan and his ilk. He doesn’t really have any “roots” to return to; he came up playing mainstream country music and has followed the mainstream trends right into the toilet where he’s been swimming around with the other turds for the last several years. Many veteran artists have gracefully ridden off into the sunset by scaling back their live shows and playing smaller venues or setting up residence in theaters in tourist areas, but is that really an option for a guy with Bryan’s repertoire? I just don’t picture many people showing up to see white-haired, 63-year-old Luke Bryan singing about pouring sugar in his Dixie cup.
A little off-topic, sorry, but it’s just something that crossed my mind as I was reading.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:45 pm
Interesting question. I think for someone like Luke Bryan who for his sake I hope has been smart with his money he can probably do whatever he wants even if that is nothing at all.
Where it’s interesting is with the lower level people like say Cole Swindell. When his run is over (which may be happening now by the way) what becomes of him. Will his totally unmemorable songs find an audience on the indian casino/country fair circuit? Don’t know.
Artists like Ricky Skaggs, Pam Tillis and countless others have managed to continue to reach an audience because they have created numerous timeless songs that still touch people decades later which make for loyal fans and ticket buyers.
So I would guess that we are headed for a time when has been ‘country’ acts are just like has been pop acts. It didn’t use to be that way because of intense fan loyalty but I fear that is gone.
December 14, 2017 @ 3:57 pm
Oh, I’m sure Luke Bryan could walk away from the business today and be set for life. In fact, there’s so much money being thrown around out there these days that even a relative lightweight like Cole Swindell has managed to accumulate a reported net worth of $3 million, so it’s not likely that he’ll end up like some of the ’90s guys who have had to hang it up and get a “real” job just to pay the bills.
But I’m not talking about the financial aspect of it. Guys like Ricky Skaggs and John Conlee (who plays here in a couple of months) aren’t still out there on the road because they need the paycheck; it’s because when you engage in a career in music for the right reasons, performing gets in your blood. It’s not something you can just walk away from when you feel you’ve made enough money like a desk job.
Sure there are opportunists out there, and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if some of these guys fall into that category. But as much as I dislike Luke Bryan’s act, I do think he’s in the game for the right reasons and will probably want to continue performing as long as he’s able to fall off of a stage.
But eventually his star will fade; the country girls will no longer want to shake it for him. Sure, he has the resources to continue to do the same show he’s doing regardless of whether or not anybody shows up, but for his sake I hope he has a little more pride than that. So what does he do? Is his star bright enough at this point that his fans will stick with him if he starts recording more mature songs that he can perform with a straight face when he’s old and gray? Will he band together with other artists in similar situations and reinvent themselves as a Traveling Wilburys-type act? Will he start touring on package bills where he only has to play the half dozen non-party songs in his act?
Just speculating, of course. It will be interesting to see what happens to these acts going in the future.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:22 pm
‘Traveling Wilburys- type act’ This I like. We could have Luke Bryan, Cole Swindell, Silent Bob from FGL and maybe Sam Hunt earnestly singing about being aging bros in the year 2032. Sounds awesome!
But seriously, yes, it is an interesting thing to ponder. I’m not sure that any of these guys has shown the talent or depth to release say a ‘Precious Memories’ like album like Alan Jackson or the ‘Bakersfield’ project that Vince Gill put out a few years ago. I suspect they will probably go the way of Toby Keith who is still releasing the same types of songs and albums even though he no longer gets any airplay.
Many of these guys may very well nice people but there is very little evidence that they have the talent and depth of knowledge to make anything of real import in later years. Could be wrong as always.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:55 pm
Yeah, they could bill themselves as The Traveling Dingleberries.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:01 pm
Luke will always be able to tour “catalog” and put asses in the seats albeit probably scaled back to arenas. His “ilk” will be all over the map capacity wise depending on how many hits or even one hit wonders will still get gigs. Selling albums and/or getting airplay will be a different story.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:08 pm
I always thought the same about rock acts. “What do they do when they get old.” Well there are still a bunch of them out there with shoulder length gray hair, wrinkled skin, bloated beer belly’s and singing about hot chicks and raisin hell. Go figure, but I guess their fans get old with them and are forgiving of the deteriorated image.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:14 pm
Tom…..This is the byproduct of trend chasing as opposed to being an artist with a vision , a sound , a point of view , a thirst for the REAL and a willingness to stand your ground when the label suggests that you cut ” COUNTRY GIRL SHAKE IT FOR ME “
December 14, 2017 @ 12:32 pm
Y’all make fun of Luke but he’s doing a damn good thing making music children can listen to and understand.
December 14, 2017 @ 1:49 pm
Depends how you define “children”. If you are referencing 14 – 21 year old girls and bros, then I agree.
December 14, 2017 @ 2:54 pm
Yeah, those kids too. It’s music for those with a short attention span and those who don’t yet have an appreciation for music as art.
December 14, 2017 @ 2:18 pm
If your demographic is 13-21 years old, then he’s a pro. However, there are country music fans that like substance in their music and not just style. Luke Bryan’s music is fluff at best.
December 14, 2017 @ 12:48 pm
I think you used too many words in the title of this article.
it could be summed up
Luke Bryan is Not Country
December 14, 2017 @ 1:45 pm
I say give him the last quarter-gun down. He hadn’t earned ot.
December 14, 2017 @ 2:15 pm
Luke Bryan was never country to being with, if we’re being brutally honest here. He had some really solid songs at the beginning of his career, but the quality of his music started going downhill when he cut “Country Girl (Shake It For Me)”. Collaborating with the two fucktards called FGL didn’t help matters at all moving forward.
I’ve never purchased or downloaded any of his music and I never will. Luke Bryan is great if you want mindless party music. Outside of that, he’s painfully mediocre.
On a more positive note: Trigger, I read your review of Tyler Childers’ “Purgatory.” Bought it last night and I’m damn glad I did. There’s not a bad song on there at all. Thanks!
December 14, 2017 @ 4:02 pm
Wut kind of website is this???
Nobody cares about your stupid opinion. Luke has a big heart and puts on great shows. He has millions of fans and dollors so you can think about the next time you write crap like this.
You will be crying in your moms basement with the other virgins when he’s at the top of the charts.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:10 pm
“You will be crying in your moms basement with the other virgins when he’s at the top of the charts.”
Love it.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:20 pm
Trigger, I didn’t know you were stockpiling virgins in your mom’s basement…..
December 14, 2017 @ 4:45 pm
Poor poor Abbey, you are truly swimming in the rivers of Delusion and Denial. If you think having millions of dollars will solve all of your problems, you are truly in for a rude awakening.
If you think this is crap, you Luke Bryan fangirl, then why did you bother to respond to begin with? Don’t let the door hit you on your bony ass on the way out. And go worship at the altar of Gomer Pyle….whoops I meant Luke Bryan.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:33 pm
Are you skinny shaming me when you don’t even know what I look like?
Just because YOU don’t like Luke doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. YOU are the one with the bad attitude. YOU are the one spreading negativity in a world that doesn’t need anymore. I responded because I have a right to defend him against hate filled articles like this.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:51 pm
If I wanted to “skinny shame” you, oh trust me darlin…..you’d know it. I honestly don’t give one single Kentucky fried fuck what you look like. It’s at the rock bottom of my priority list.
You can like, listen and love Luke Bryan’s music as much as you like. Defend him if you like. But understand that a lot of People feel that his music ain’t country and guess what? It’s NOT. Its closer to Taylor Swift’s music than actual authentic country music. Like you said: you have a right to defend him. And we have the right to call his music for what it is: top 40 pop radio with a bit of twang thrown in for good measure.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:14 pm
Makes no difference what the music is called its about how it makes you feel. Country pop rap idc what someone calls it. Music is not limited to pointless genres. Change is the only constant in life you know. Whatever. I’m over this. Good day.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:33 pm
I feel nothing for his music. It’s mindless generic trend following party music. Point blank, period.
December 15, 2017 @ 1:15 am
Okay. Seriously. Kentucky Fried Fuck just became my favorite new phrase. 😀
December 14, 2017 @ 5:03 pm
I want a Quarter Pounder with cheese, no onions, Abbey. Get cracking.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:05 pm
Female virgins?
December 14, 2017 @ 10:06 pm
Bwaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaa! And the eighth grade chick chimes in with the eloquence only somebody with a middle school brain can deliver. Hallelujah and holy shit, now where’s the Tylenol.
December 14, 2017 @ 4:02 pm
Expected more comedic fire on this one. One man’s opinion, and likely a flawed one, but I’d rather see a review of an obscure artist I wouldn’t have previously known, rather than a critique of shit most of your readers will never listen to. Unless of course you want to go scorched-earth on a mainstream guy, which is always entertaining. i’m sure there are many factors at play for you.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:54 pm
Gotta agree.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:02 pm
This is an outstanding article. Nailed it.
“He’s now simply the figurehead of a franchise that employs a small army of merchandisers, managers, publicists, roadies, and side musicians, that leases an entire fleet of trucks and buses, helps pay the salaries of fat cat label executives executives, and not to mention the imperative to help prop up the entire commercial country industry itself as a flagship artist, selling a lock step corporate country lifestyle brand to America via outdoor outfitters, corporate beer sponsors, and domestic full size truck manufacturers, greasing the wheels of commerce and an insatiable appetite to consume by the American public.”
And so much more.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:28 pm
I love this album. Luke has changed country from the better. If you great grandpa’s want to listen to dyed in the wool stuff, go ahead. The rest of us modernites will listen to Luke and the other guys in country now.
2 guns way the fuck up, man.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:13 pm
Evan,
If you walked into a Thai restaurant, and ordered Chicken Pad Thai, but they brought you a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, would you be pissed?
December 14, 2017 @ 7:35 pm
Shut up. Just shut up.
December 16, 2017 @ 8:57 am
I wanna know who died and left you in charge.
December 14, 2017 @ 7:46 pm
“Luke has changed country”
That’s exactly right, he took the ‘country’ part out of it. If you like pop music, that’s cool. Just don’t call it what it isn’t.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:57 pm
What a bunch of sourpuss old men.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:05 pm
I don’t know about everyone else but I’m not even 30. But judging by your musical taste you’re just entering your teens. Don’t worry, as your brain continues to develop you’ll stop listening to children’s music.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:09 pm
Bo, never argue with a moron, they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:19 pm
Haha good point. Solid handle, btw.
December 16, 2017 @ 1:14 am
Bo you sound awfully fuddy duddy to me for being “under 30”. You probably listen to Shitpileton, Spoogeil, and Jizzbell.
Luke isn’t Children’s music. Luke is the new standard of country so get used to it. PS, I am 30. So kiss my ass.
Kthxbye.
December 16, 2017 @ 8:09 am
“PS, I am 30”
Yeah, there’s just no way. Enjoy your cartoons on this fine Saturday morning.
December 15, 2017 @ 9:07 am
Seriously, Evan. Just shut up. You sound like a moron!!
December 16, 2017 @ 8:58 am
Who died and left you in charge?
December 15, 2017 @ 2:09 pm
I’m an 18-year-old female.
December 16, 2017 @ 5:08 pm
Go piss up a rope
December 16, 2017 @ 7:37 pm
Not you, Amanda
December 17, 2017 @ 7:51 am
LOL…. somebody pee in your fruit loops?
December 15, 2017 @ 6:51 am
I’m not an old man. I’m 25. Luke Bryans music sucks. I find it ironic that the people defending Luke Bryan are the ones running down people who like real music and calling us names when we’re just running down the music, not the person.
December 16, 2017 @ 5:40 am
Wow if listening to Luke Bryan gives you the ability to come up with the immature statements like this and all of the other ones Evan Rhodey has been coming up with then we’re all missing out lol. Hopefully one day (s)he’ll grow up
December 15, 2017 @ 8:41 am
“Luke has changed country from the better.”
Couldn’t agree more! Country music radio used to be better before the Luke Bryans of the world came around.
December 14, 2017 @ 5:50 pm
” In past eras, it was the performing artists who were willing to push boundaries and take chances who were crowned the best of a given time period. But now it’s those most willing to shut up, listen, and do what they’re told, with the only reward being a handsome payday. ”
…..and there you go ….a tight and tidy summation of EXACTLY what’s going on , kids
December 14, 2017 @ 7:44 pm
“…’Cause you had to say something for people to listen
Now they just do what they’re told
Well it’s all about idols and pretty blonde hair
And how many trucks you can sell
Out here in AM country heaven
And FM country hell”
December 14, 2017 @ 5:51 pm
So sad hahaha
December 14, 2017 @ 6:01 pm
I know you have to pretend as if Luke is the equivalent of Bro-Country Hilter for your readers, but neither Luke nor his new album are monstrosities. Every album, particularly the singles can be bad, but that’s true even of the best artists. I like it and will gladly support his music.
December 16, 2017 @ 1:32 am
Luke is good people. And his music is great. Very talented.
March 27, 2018 @ 3:58 pm
No.
Talented is Ricky Skaggs who plays 5 instruments.
Talented is Marty Stuart who plays 4 and writes his own songs.
Luke Bryan is about as talented as a can of expired beans and his music isn’t Country Music.
it’s the audio equivalent of going into a taco bell and forcing everyone to eat spinach because “that’s what tacos taste like now”
December 14, 2017 @ 6:10 pm
When George Jones was Luke’s age, he was just getting started with Epic, and was releasing “The Grand Tour”, The Door”, & “A Picture Of Me Without You”.
Hag was releasing, I’m Always on A Mountain When I Fall” and “The Roots of My Raising”.
That, my friends, is perspective.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:39 pm
True, but the different era makes that comparison suspect. A better comparison is that at 5 or so years younger than Bryan, Sturgill Simpson released Metamodern Soinds in Country Music.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:04 pm
Sturgill Simpson is so horrible. I would actually rather hear Luke sing.
That pseudointellectual claptrap is just as bad as brocuntry, only for different reasons.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:41 pm
For hating him so much, you sure do seem to know an awful lot about him Honky. Your Sturgill man crush is real. Or maybe it is just an actual crush?……because if you prefer Luke over Sturgill, there is no way in hell you aren’t actually a 15 year old girl.
December 15, 2017 @ 9:20 am
I’ll admit it. After watching Sturgills video of him standing outside the CMA’s I have a man crush on him. Biggest balls I even seen. Now I’m getting into his music too even if it ain’t Country.
December 15, 2017 @ 8:28 pm
What about Sturgill’s music “ain’t country”. Or was that post total sarcasm?
December 15, 2017 @ 5:34 am
Hell, Isbell was writing songs like “Decoration Day” and “Outfit” when he was around 23 or 24 in The Drive-By Truckers. And then went on to release every one of his current albums before reaching Luke Bryan’s age. If he hasn’t put out anything with true substance by now, I think it’s safe to say it’s not happening.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:48 pm
That’s a great point. The “door” is one of his most heartbreaking songs to me, and I am not a big fan of the 70s Nashville sound era, but that dudes voice transcends all that.
Also a year after I’m always on a mountain, he did footlights, heaven was a drink of wine, which to me are two of Hags better songs in the late 70s era right before my favorite album of his Back to the bar rooms.
In summary everything they did was just better than Luke Bryan, even George’s bizarre johnny paycheck duet album.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:08 pm
Justin,
My point was just about the worlds of difference in the maturity level of what those guys were singing about when they were 40 years old, versus what Luke and his peers are singing about. The simple reality that their music was better goes without saying.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:21 pm
Yeah I know I just never thought of it that way before.
Also thanks for the Ernest tub box set recommendation i got the 4th in the mail yesterday, and it’s pretty great.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:45 pm
Again, although I agree with your general point, it was a totally different time and that comparison is tough to make. It’s like saying “man, honky’s grandad was such a badass because he never got on the internet and pissed and whined about particular country singers”. Yes that is true, but it was a different time and there was no internet.
December 14, 2017 @ 6:58 pm
“At this point, Luke Bryan couldn’t make a quality country record even if he wanted to.”
This is the killer line, because it’s true. Even if Luke once had a country bone, he wouldn’t have one now. The incentives are all stacked the other way. Hell, at this point he probably believes his own PR. Now he’s trapped. We could say it’s a tragedy, but the truth is that he probably didn’t have all that far to fall. What songs will Luke sing in the circle of old performers, “Country Girl Shake It for Me”?
Maybe it is tragic, because I sure do pity him.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:04 pm
It’s a good thing I didn’t buy this cd that I read from Trigger I’ll pass this cd.
December 15, 2017 @ 9:25 am
Buy it? You’re kidding right? I had it on hold at the library and after I heard it once I took the “hold” off. I know some of you would will be saying “why would you put a hold on that?” for the same reason I put a hold on Stapletons. I’ll give anything a listen just to see what someone is up to. It’s not a commitment. It’s 1 listen.
December 15, 2017 @ 1:07 pm
hey my library is how I first listened to Chris Stapleton, Jason Isbell, Sturgill Simpson, Chris Knight and others. Especially a few years back, I had NO money for music, and I am very grateful that someone at my library seems to have my back!!
December 15, 2017 @ 1:09 pm
And I’ve picked up a Luke Bryan CD or two there also, for my 9 year old daughter when we took a road trip. (she’s moved on to SOME better things, lol.)
December 15, 2017 @ 1:06 am
“Luke Bryan is the Ronald McDonald of country music.” Might be one of the funniest sentences i’ve read lately, literally had my dying for a moment. What’s sad though, is that it’s true.. Well-written article!
December 15, 2017 @ 5:15 am
Keep in mind that when the revered Chet Atkins was asked to describe the Nashville sound, he jingled the change in his pocket saying, “ That’s the Nashville sound.” Always has been, always will be.
December 15, 2017 @ 7:02 pm
Typical Luke Bryan album 4-5 decent to good songs with 10 really bad songs.
December 16, 2017 @ 11:33 am
I almost feel like saying. The Salsoul Christmas album is more country than this shit.” But alas he is not Sam Hunt.
December 17, 2017 @ 1:02 am
Totally unfair to McDonald’s.
December 21, 2017 @ 9:11 pm
I feel like the title track is aimed right at sites like these. And that gives me endless happiness. Who cares if it’s a 6 figure tractor, if it’s a tractor, it’s f’ing country. Luke is country. So take a listen, he’s totally right.
March 27, 2018 @ 3:59 pm
You might want to go back to school and ask for your money back
June 23, 2018 @ 6:06 pm
Seriously Evan? You realise you only like his meaningless music because you think it’s catchy? I realise you’re just a 30 year old single blob who fantasizes about slapping’ Luke Bryan’s booty, while he does ‘the move’. Face it: You’re one of those half young women who religiously follow anything hip and new. You’ve been one of countless people who’ve been manipulated by mass marketing, and sex appeal(completely delusional sex appeal by the way) so you could mindlessly support him. He sings meaningless bro country party songs about trucks, hot girls he just wants to F**K, Sweet, sweet alcohol, and why he doesn’t like fat chicks(the reason’s really shallow by the way).
If you think what I’ve said is a lie, then ask yourself this question: When Luke Bryan’s 73 years old, bald, and fat, will you still shake it for him when he’s singing his new song about how much he wants to squeeze his young granddaughters T*TS?
Despite what you may answer, the real answer will be that you might….If he still has the money. So before you disrespect George Jones, Hank, Cash, Acuff, Merle, and Willie, and start worshipping Luke Bryan, and other hardcore sex addicts, think of the question I just asked you.
January 29, 2019 @ 2:33 pm
Are you serious with this article. Very biased.
February 17, 2019 @ 7:31 am
Folks I can think of many Many MANY BS County Music HITs over the past 50 years that lack lyrical substance. I love Country music…some songs are good for dancing others are good for drinking and reflecting. Bottom line, let’s stop “eating our own” and at the very least look to Luke Bryan and others to segway Pop music fans to Country. Once there, the listening public will find wonderful and classic gems of all types and “likes” in this uniquely American genre of music.
March 22, 2019 @ 12:13 am
Winnah winnah Catfish Dinnah….nuff said.
July 17, 2019 @ 8:24 am
Happy 43rd birthday,Luke !!!!