What do they say about rednecks with money? Well the one named Luke Bryan decided to buy his wife a pair of damn baby kangaroos for Christmas, and then put human diapers on them so they could hop hop all around the house according to photos that surfaced on Instagram from numerous family members. Now the kangaroo court of public opinion that is the World Wide Web is hopping mad over the brazen attempt to domesticate the wild Aussie natives, while working in jokes about how the new redneck version of “12 Days of Christmas” must have a stanza about kangaroos. Oh what fun.
Of course since modern mainstream country is nothing more than lifestyle branding with music as the excuse to pay attention, the posting of the pictures on Instagram was meant to tug at heart strings and humanize the multi-millionaire country singer by showing the affection he has for his wife, Caroline Boyer. Though sometimes too much can be made about issues like these from hyperventilating do-gooders, there is some real precedent concerning the practice of attempting to raise kangaroos in North America going very poorly, and not just coming from the regular bleeding hearts that cause an uproar whenever anything animal related makes headlines.
“Reports we receive indicate that the death toll is very high amongst these animals, as they quite often they are restrained in small yards,” says the National Kangaroo Protection Agency out of Australia. “Few oversees veterinarians know anything about them, and macropods do succumb very easily to stress-related diseases.”
Multiple Luke Bryan fans chimed in on social media, saying attempting to domesticate the kangaroos at Bryan’s Tennessee estate was selfish and inappropriate, and will likely result in an early death of the animals. Of course PETA has offered its two cents as well, demanding an investigation into where the kangaroos came from, and warning that as the animals get older they will become more difficult to care for.
Luke Bryan and his camp did a pretty good end around to deflect blame by putting the hashtag “#brettsbarn” on the Instagram post. Sadie Brett is Luke Bryan’s niece who died at 7 months old last February after heart issues and a liver infection. A barn on Bryan’s property is named after her, and apparently that is where the kangaroos will stay when they cease to be cute, and get strong enough to break a human in half and start leaving massive piles of kangaroo shit everywhere. If they make it that long, that is.
And to assure us all of just how serious the Luke Bryan camp takes the ownership of such exotic, majestic, and difficult-to-care-for animals, they named them Margo and Todd after the yuppie neighbors on the National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. The nicknames “2 Live Roo” and “Roo Tang Clan” have also surfaced via Instagram. Yes, apparently it isn’t just Luke Bryan’s music that is heavily influenced by hip-hop.
So far, the Luke Bryan camp has not publicly addressed the imbroglio.