What in the all kinds of actual hell do we have here my friends. I think we have just unearthed the biggest cultural abomination that has ever been classified as “country” music in its 70 year existence. No, I’m not talking bad, awful, terrible, or any other such adjectives. Even those words would seem to instill this embarrassment of Western Civilization with a dollop of undeserved respect. Truth be known, there are songs that officially sound worse than this one out there for sure, or that are more stupid either purposefully or inadvertently. But the degree of slavitude and cultural backsliding celebrated and edified in this song is as abhorrent as it is alarmingly calamitous, and hovers only very slightly, and uncomfortably so, above genuine calls of gender downgrading and the erosion of sexual equality in American society, bordering on downright pleas for date rape. I am severely embarrassed that I have poured my lifeblood into something that utilizes the term “country” in a world where this song exists, and pray that I have the strength to steady my hands enough to coherently compose just how angry this song makes me.
But get this ladies and gentlemen. Before we even get into the heart of this matter, sit back and appreciate that the same exact day the brand new female country duo Maddie & Tae released their first single ever called “Girl In A Country Song”, whose verses include lines and titles of actual “Bro-Country” songs, young Maggie Rose released her song called “Girl In Your Truck Song” …. WHOSE VERSES ALSO INCLUDE LINES AND TITLES OF ACTUAL “BRO-COUNTRY” SONGS.
Yeah, big oops by Music Row as they inadvertently pull the curtain back to expose the inner workings of their institutionalized conveyor belt formulaic and copycat songwriting rubber stamp machine laboring away. “Pay no attention to the man behind the green curtain” they say with blushing cheeks, as they pretty much just released the same exact fucking song, on the same exact fucking day, and from institutions that are only 0.8 miles away from each other on the same exact fucking street on Music Row; only one song has a negative take and the other has a positive one. If there has ever been a moment where the country music industry has trumpeted emphatically how stupid they think you are, this is it.
From the heartfelt yet respectful concerns of some for how young women were being portrayed in country songs, to downright calls of sexism being perpetrated in country music from the “Bro-Country” takedown of the genre, sincere worry was already being transmitted from many sectors about female’s devolving role in the country music format. Now this alarming trend takes a gigantic leap forward (or backward, as it were), as a young woman voluntarily puts herself directly in the path of the misogynistic and materialistic locomotive that is modern day country music by pleading with her overbearing beau captor to allow her to become the subordinate piece of meat that is portrayed in all the worst hits of the “Bro-Country” era.“Friday night I’m getting ready. Call you up so come and get me. I got my jeans on tight, I’m feeling sexy. Tonight, tonight … I want to be the girl in your truck song, the one that makes you sing along. Makes you wanna cruise, drink a little moonshine down, leave a couple tattoos on this town. Chillin’ out with a cold beer, yeah, hangin’ with the boys round here. Gonna take a little ride, That’s my kind of night. You and me getting our shine on, I wanna be the girl in your truck song. Gonna hop on in, so slide it over. Lay my head down on your shoulder. We can rev it up, or take it slow. I don’t care, I don’t care.”
What the fuck did I just read? That has been the concern the entire time with this “Bro-Country” bullshit, that having guys that learned how to treat women from 90’s hip-hop songs dominating country music would result in actual behavioral changes in young women. The entire time we’ve been told, “Don’t be so uptight, they’re just songs.” And here is Maggie Rose not only releasing a song that takes a further subservient step, but then she confirms this is how young women are reacting to this trend, and they’re doing so “all over the country.”
Then Maggie Rose goes on to say, “Don’t fight it; embrace it.” Huh. Is it just a coincidence that these are the same exact creepy words a date rapist utters as he has his way with someone’s daughter?
Fuck this song.