NFL Fans, Sorry For Luke Bryan & The Bad Country During the Draft
Dear NFL Fans,
As the true disciples and aficionados of actual country music, we want to formally apologize to you all for the bad country music and doltish characters you will be forced to endure during this week’s NFL Draft coverage. We promise, we don’t promote or condone the music of Luke Bryan, are as abhorred by Bobby Bones as you are, and don’t in any way take ownership in the other douche nozzles you may be exposed to during the presentation of the 2019 Draft, or any of its satellite events. We prefer country music artists like Cody Jinks, The Turnpike Troubadours, Ashley McBryde, and Sunny Sweeney, who you won’t see playing any of these functions, or hear on the radio for that matter, but embody what the true essence of modern country is really about. Please understand this bad country music does not represent the best of what country music has to offer, just what corporate overloads with real bad taste allow the masses to hear, while the best stuff flies under-the-radar. Please accept our deepest apologies.
Sincerely,
–Country Music
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The 2019 NFL Draft will be happening beginning Thursday evening (4-25) and spilling over into the weekend. What once was a perfunctory part of the NFL offseason has now become a major television event, with more public interest in the third round pick for the Buffalo Bills than the annual Veteran’s Era pick for the Country Music Hall of Fame. The draft was held in New York for many years, but has been in different cities recently, with this year the NFL deciding to head south to Nashville, which means really shitty country music being showcased on the national stage while sports fans look on with bewilderment, wondering, “What happened to this genre?”
Some of the embarrassing country music personalities scheduled to appear include Luke Bryan, who apparently will be a big part of the Thursday night festivities on ABC, along with radio personality Bobby Bones, who will be a part of the presentation both Thursday and Friday. Of course these two duds know just about as much about the NFL as they do about country music. But you know, you’ve got to get that cross-promotional action up-and-running since both appear on ABC’s American Idol. This is the first year coverage of the draft coverage will air on ABC proper during prime time.
Along with these two, you can expect plenty of today’s bad country “hits” to be featured going into and coming out of the Draft’s commercial breaks. Jake Owen, Cole Swindell, and Chris Lane all already participated in a Sirius XM pre-party event on Wednesday night, and expect many other bad country stars to pop in and out as you follow along.
It won’t all be terrible though. Apparently Dolly Parton has participated in some voice over work as part of the NFL Network presentation, and depending on what they choose to perform, the much more tolerable Tim McGraw and Dierks Bentley appearing on a stage set up on Lower Broadway Thursday and Friday night might be passable. Nonetheless, if you happen to be in Nashville for the Draft festivities, avoid the mainstream nonsense, and stop into Robert’s Western World for a fried bologna sandwich and some real authentic honky tonk, or Alan Jackson’s place where they only book actual country music. And if you find yourself needing to induce vomiting or in the midst of gastrointestinal distress, may we suggest stopping into the Jason Aldean or Florida-Georgia Line-themed bars on Lower Broadway to foul up their facilities.
Unlike the NFL Draft where teams will be vetting the best, brightest, and most talented individuals for showcasing on the sport’s biggest stage, the system used to evaluate and reward talent in country music is completely inverted, with often the most talentless, creatively bankrupt, and skill-addled performers being foisted into the brightest spotlight. Keith Urban’s recent wins as the CMA and ACM Entertainer of the Year is the perfect example. This would be like expending a 1st round pick on a 3rd string punter.
So anyway football fans, our sincerest apologies. There actually is some amazing country music in the modern era just waiting out there to be discovered. But like that stellar, franchise quarterback you can pick up in the 5th round, you just have to dig to find it.
Chris31
April 25, 2019 @ 8:49 am
Bobby Bones Just makes me mad that he is famous and that he is even associated with country music. A few years ago when we had the Arron Watson altercation I gave my opinion on Twitter. His answer was vile at best. And I just can’t fathom how such a person is thought of so highly by the masses. He is proof that fame does not translate into talent of a decent person.
Trig on an unrelated note thank you for turning me on Charles Wesley Godwin. I cant stop listening to his new album.
Lil Dale savin country music hall of fame member class of 2015
April 25, 2019 @ 12:15 pm
hay trigg nock it off Id be willing to bet Luke dose a good job and represents country music well for the tv shows
and some times I do not under stand wut yaller thinking
yall tell me about sum music and I listened to it and its good like that ole Cody Jinks I Hurd a song of his and I thawt it was good Evan this my ole lady said his voise is Flatt
And then I come down to tell yall about a new Luke Brian song I like and yall are all ready Carryin on about how much yall do not Like it
And trigg lets not forget about the last time u we’re carryin on with your hate speech about ole Luke and win of thees boys from the coments section antagonized Luke at the Volunteer Jam and Luke nocked em in to the middle of next week u mite want to dial it back before ole Fuzz or BewareDware gets them self’s hurt agin thank u
Chris31
April 25, 2019 @ 3:05 pm
I’m a huge fan of your grammar and logic.
Lucas Revens
April 26, 2019 @ 4:37 am
What the fuck are y’all on about? I’m all for spelling words badly but this stuff is bad!
Benny Lee
April 26, 2019 @ 6:52 am
No, it’s genius! Lil Dale is a poet’s poet.
#PIMPINJOY
April 25, 2019 @ 3:19 pm
Bobby and Charles are both awesome.
Cobra
April 25, 2019 @ 9:06 am
Honestly, I liked Luke Bryan’s first couple of albums an a lot of his stuff from before that, even. He’s honestly someone who should know better but just prefers the fame and stardom over actual good music. For that reason, I almost find him worse than Florida Georgia Line who are just out-and-out tools. They don’t know any better. Luke Bryan does.
On another note, Trigger, I know it’s not country, but will you be commenting on the new Josh Ritter album that’s out tomorrow?
Trigger
April 25, 2019 @ 10:09 am
I might. Josh Ritter is on the radar.
I miss Ronnie, Toy and Levon
April 25, 2019 @ 9:14 am
“Of course these two duds know just about as much about the NFL as they do about country music” I laughed for 5 minutes!
Flyball
April 25, 2019 @ 9:17 am
Football doesn’t have a partiality of selecting the brightest, they may prefer a hard head and a beefy presence. They have to take a heavy dogpile and survive. That have to run with a head injury sometimes. The entertainment mightn’t be fitting or it might… it’s football not baseball, (where the players seem much more gentlemanly.)
Tom
April 25, 2019 @ 9:47 am
My level of interest in the modern-day NFL is about the same as my level of interest in modern mainstream country music, so as far as I’m concerned it’s a match made in heaven.
And no, my feelings toward the NFL have nothing to do with the dude who won’t stand for the national anthem. I quit watching pro football long before that train left the station.
Bill "100%" Wood
April 25, 2019 @ 11:15 am
“My level of interest in the modern-day NFL is about the same as my level of interest in modern mainstream country music, so as far as I’m concerned it’s a match made in heaven.”
Someone give this man an award. Nailed it.
scott
April 25, 2019 @ 1:48 pm
Wow, so edgy.
OlaR
April 25, 2019 @ 10:28 am
Nashville will be the new home of the Nascar “Monster Energy Series Awards & Champion’s Week” too. Early december 2019.
No announcement yet…but an award show without Luke Bryan wiggle his ass is a no-no.
Or a duet…Luke Bryan & Thomas Rhett performing “Dancing Queen(s)” together. Pure country music heaven & the Nascar crowd goes wild.
mary hayden
April 25, 2019 @ 10:33 am
I don’t know where to put this but I get emails for the surveys in country music. Yesterday I got one for 4 singles from FGL. They were all horrible and I told them so. I guess they are making plans for another single.
dukeroberts
April 26, 2019 @ 9:47 am
One had at least a country-ish sound to it, which I rated as “so-so”, but the lyrics were terrible – “You Can’t Say I Ain’t Country” – one of those songs where they’re trying to convince others (and themselves) that they ARE country.. I told them I was not interested in hearing the songs on my radio, nor interested in buying the CD, nor in hearing more music from them.
JB-Chicago
April 25, 2019 @ 11:20 am
I always thought Cody’s “Big Last Name” would work well somewhere on an prime time NFL telecast, event, or something else like MLB player walk up we were talking about awhile back. I’m a 9ers fan and my boy Jimmy G with the big last name needs some good picks tonight to help him next season.
Never the less it’s a beautiful Sunny day here in the Windy City and I’ll be watching the draft out of the corner of my eye while I wait for Sunny Sweeney to play a nice intimate show for us @ Logans Bar & Grill. Can’t wait……………..
Darlene
April 25, 2019 @ 11:31 am
Hilarious post. Just a sidenote…Tom Brady was the 199th pick in the 6th round of the draft – Luke Bryan et al WISH they could become the GOATs of country music…lol.
Chris
April 27, 2019 @ 4:41 pm
In a sense, they are. (a) They sound like goats when they vocalize; and (b) When it comes to country music, they’re “goats” in the “Charlie Brown” sense of the word (as in the opposite of “hero”).
Benny Lee
April 25, 2019 @ 11:40 am
Sunny Sweeney is the greatest. So deliciously country, with twang to spare. It’s an absolute crime she’s not a major radio star.
JB-Chicago
April 25, 2019 @ 10:13 pm
Sunny came on at 8p sharp to a rousing crowd of 80 of us? Maybe 100. The room was setup with tables and chairs and 15 empty ft between her and the people and she told everyone to move em closer but of course people didn’t. Found out she plays there because the drummer lives there. I was in the back but moved to the front row after a few tunes. She was great, in a happy mood. Played 5 off Trophy + some old and new tunes….. “I Drink Well With Others” and “Poets Prayer” as well as “Whiskey Richard”……lol hilarious tune! Seger peeps told her to learn a cover for the tour “When Will I Be Loved” was perfect. Thanked everyone for rescuing the van buying merch. Sun leaves the stage sneaks out a glass stage double door for a “breath of fresh air” and can’t get back in. While 30 people are lined up for after show meet & greet inside, I see her banging on it…lol I let her in fist bumped her and said “thanks for a great show” and home I went. 1.5 hr 90 mile drive. Another memorable evening thanks to this site! Oh yeah…..and the draft? I like Football, I saw my pick in the bar long before Sunny came on. To compare it to current Country radio/The Row or whatever is fuckin’ ridiculous. I don’t want to see Luke Bryan any more than you do. It’ll never be in Nashville again anyway and the world will keep turning. Thank you all………..Good night!
Baxter Brown
April 25, 2019 @ 11:46 am
Bobby Bones is the Arizona Cardinals of music
Robin Robinson
April 25, 2019 @ 2:08 pm
I couldn’t disagree with you more. You’re entitled to your own opinion but so am I and the hundreds of thousands of other fans of “new country” music. I don’t care what kind of music you do or don’t enjoy. Why do you have to be so rude to fans of both football and new country music? Good grief. I am well aware that my opinion or feelings mean absolutely nothing to you, but nevertheless, I am extremely offended by this article. You do your thing and leave the fans of new country alone to do our thing, please and thank you.
Colter
April 25, 2019 @ 2:28 pm
Well you do your thing and leave the fans of
actual country music alone to do our thing, please and thank you.
Tom
April 26, 2019 @ 5:50 am
Was the article emailed directly to you? No? So you apparently came here seeking it out.
My advice, if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Sodcutterjones
April 26, 2019 @ 5:57 am
I’m entitled to my opinion of your crappy “new country music” as well, and i wouldn’t call it that. You listen to “Suburban Pop”. That’s all it is and all it ever will be. Forgettable pop music under the umbrella of country music.
Bill "100%" Wood
April 26, 2019 @ 7:44 am
Yeah, these must be troll accounts, there’s no way someone is actually this dim. Asking an article writer to “leave them alone” when they’re reading an article on the writer’s own site, it’s hilarious actually.
SCM: Come for the insight, stick around for the comments.
Woogeroo
June 2, 2019 @ 3:14 pm
because it sucks.
and this is still America, at least on paper, say what’s on your mind, Hail REAL Country Music! NOT this watered down bad 80s pop with drug induced techno droning drum beats which is nothing but a HOT MESS.
Mike
August 16, 2019 @ 7:37 am
Your opinion is wrong and you deserve to be made fun of, Karen…or whatever the hell your name is.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash
April 25, 2019 @ 2:18 pm
Dude won Dancing With the Stars and is in the Country frickin’ Music hall of fame and you couldn’t get a better picture? C’mon Trig, you’re better than that.
Mike
April 25, 2019 @ 3:02 pm
“I don’t care what kind of music you do or don’t enjoy.”
And yet…here you are.
Jason Bray
April 25, 2019 @ 4:20 pm
That’s funny. Douche nozzles is perfect. Bobby bones is just another reason country music radio sucks. The music on it is number one.
ShadeGrown
April 25, 2019 @ 5:43 pm
Yeah these cuts in and out of commercial are brutal.
Keepin it Country
April 25, 2019 @ 6:11 pm
Real country is gaining more and more traction. Fuck Nashville. Country is coming back whether you like it or not Nashville. You can make whatever shit you want, Bit country ain’t dead yet
Samantha
April 25, 2019 @ 6:50 pm
Listen luke Bryan is a awesome county music singer and my whole family loves his music. Whoever wrote those trash comments don’t know country music and need to get there heads checked
Bill from Wisconsin
April 25, 2019 @ 8:27 pm
Honk? Fuzzy? Quit messing with us!
Benny Lee
April 26, 2019 @ 7:17 am
Maybe it’s a bad Lil Dale impression? LOL
Mike
April 26, 2019 @ 4:24 pm
It is probably that Studley Dudley moron that was here for spurts last year.
Ryan
April 25, 2019 @ 8:45 pm
Bobby Bones makes me sick. He’s the anti- Gerry House.
Daniel Cooper
April 25, 2019 @ 9:10 pm
I’m starting to feel like Bobby Bones is turning into the next Ryan Seacrest. The radio personality everyone seemingly hates yet is all over TV screens. Watch out, he’ll be doing red carpet shows next.
Atomic Zombie Redneck
April 26, 2019 @ 6:21 am
I kinda liked Bobby Bones for a while, he was funny and seemed like a good guy despite his poor taste in music, and he supported female artists on his show.
But over time his monologues deteriorated into tedious lengthy rants about losing weight to look good on TV, why he can’t love or be loved (barf), endlessly promoting his own shitty band, promoting his books, name dropping and more name dropping, etc. It seemed like all the good things he did for charity and upcoming artists were becoming secondary to his own fascination with himself. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I heard he was a contestant on Dancing With The Stars, and very thankful that I wouldn’t have to hear the endless monologues about it that I’m certain he did on his show during the DWTS season.
A controversial figure with a good heart and much potential who became utterly self absorbed and shallow, not to mention spectacularly annoying.
Trigger
April 26, 2019 @ 7:58 am
Bobby Bones is a walking brand.
dukeroberts
April 26, 2019 @ 9:54 am
I had never heard of this Bobby Bones person before he won Dancing with the Stars, and I don’t watch that show, so I’m not exactly sure how I even found out that he won.