Oh God this sucks.
At this point you just can’t even look away. Like coming up on some grisly roadside accident, you know it’s going to be grotesque, horrific, and mentally scarring for the rest of your life. But even as you cover your face, the index finger raises ever so slightly, and you sneak a peep. And yes, it’s as bad as you expected, except now it’s so damn bad, it cycles back around to imparting a belly full of inadvertent entertainment value from just how bad it is.
What we’re talking about here is some terrible new rap song that The Zac Brown Band have been performing live in concert recently called “God Given” that makes reference to Gucci Bags, Veyron whips (huh?), and other stuff most God-fearing country music fans have to consult Mr. Google to decipher. The chorus goes, “Gucci bag, stacks on stacks, diamonds fill up the champagne glass, Veyron whip, G5 high, you have class that you just can’t buy.”
This is pretty bad in itself, but the unfortunate reality is these blinged-out choruses are pretty par for the course for some radio country stars these days, and at least it has some sort of melody tied to it. Oh but then Zac Brown devolves into downright white boy rapping while wearing some hipster Amish hat and a Cabela’s fishing shirt. At that point the whole thing goes beyond any criticism, and you just feel bad for of this poor guy’s all-enveloping and downward-spiraling midlife crisis.
This must be one of the songs Zac Brown promised us recently would “…be really fun to play and fun to perform because they’re interactive. A lot of them have callbacks where the audience can sing back with us, and some of these were written to play in stadiums and big venues.”
Zac Brown. Buddy! You’ve got one of the best live bands in the game, and garnered a big grassroots following over the years. Look in the mirror, cry it out, come to Papa, and just STOP.