Down in Houston the Annual Livestock Show and Rodeo has been raging for a little over a week now, and pop country acts have been running through there spewing their plastic form of ear vomit all over the masses. Luckily the forces for REAL country have found an ally down there in the form of The Houston Press.
Their first target was Toby Keith and his atomic mullet:
“It’s easy to see why Toby Keith is so popular… until he opens his mouth to sing. . .Keith probably couldn’t pass the audition for your average high school senior musical. Tuesday night at the rodeo, his voice – which has almost no range to start with – was consistently flat, with wrong notes littered across songs like “I Wanna Talk About Me” and recent country No. 1 “She Never Cried In Front of Me” like beer cans on the floor of his extended-cab F-150 after a weekend at the lake.”
“Keith’s stage presence is almost zilch. Basically he just stood there, hat pulled low over his eyes, strumming his guitar or hunched over the microphone like he hadn’t eaten in a week and it was one of those giant rodeo turkey legs.Keith might as well have been a dead fish up there, just with a lot more pyro.”
AHHHH HAAAA HAAAAA !!!!!
If you want to read more click here.
They took aim at Rascal Flatts earlier in the week:
“Bundled-up couples of all ages walked hand-in-hand, and apple-lotion-scented gangs of teen girls made their way into Reliant Stadium Tuesday night to watch America’s modern-day Air Supply . . .”
They broke the band down by saying . . .
” . . . a chubby dude in designer jeans attached to an auto-tuner in front of thousands of screaming mouths.”
These words make me happy.