So normally we wouldn’t grace such a lowly presentation like the CMT Awards with our valuable attention. But the chatter over the last few weeks about what is set to transpire on the show hints of historic genre bending and cross-format collaborations that surely will be ripe for perspective, criticism, and roasting. So just like we do for the more legitimate, but at times equally laughable CMA and ACM Awards, we are launching a LIVE blog.
Feel free to watch along, or if you can’t stand the awards, then turn on some real country music and follow the awards vicariously through us! This is an exercise for old souls to find solace in humor from the ridiculousness that is a country music awards show. Get those refresh fingers ready!
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9:36 – THANK YOU ALL for stopping by and participating folks, for commenting, posting links, or just simply lending your eyeballs to the effort! Now off to cleanse my palette with some Sturgill Simpson!
“You won’t hear my songs on the radio, see me on the CMA…”
9:31 – 2 1/2 and not one memorable performance. The CMT Awards neever to give the performers some room to breath and create a moment. Instead we got the cell app version of an award show. Watchers will walk away without any impression or memory. As bad as awards shows are, they must create moments, and the CMT Awards didn’t create even one. I’m so uninspired, I got nothing to even say about Nellie. It was all too predictable.
9:30 – Break dancers and graffiti artists tagging a fake wall. Nothing quippy. This just sucks.
9:26 – Yes, they just called “Cruise” the “Song of the Summer.” You’re watching quotation mark “country’s” new super mega franchise. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/weve-got-a-bigger-problem-now-its-called-florida-georgia-line
9:24 – The CMT Award for Video of the Year goes to Carrie Underwood for “Blown Away.”
9:23 – The Mavericks — instilling class and country music in this damn thing.
9:20 – Wow, just saw a commercial for the “Last Ride, A Story of Hank Williams” movie.
9:19 – Please tell me they’re ending this thing at 9:30.
9:18 – You always get a solid vocal performance from Carrie. Not necessarily the moving moment I was hoping for, but solid.
9:16 – Carrie Underwood gave $1 Million dollars to tornado relief efforts. She is from Muskogee.
9:12 The CMT Male Video of the Year goes to Blake Shelton for “Sure Be Cool If You Did.”
9:10 – Something to nibble on as we approach the Nellie performance. He told the AP:
“Obviously our views today aren’t the same as our grandparents’, so when you look at the way the youth migrates and the way everything intertwines, the Internet has brought so many people together around the world in the same place at the same time. Music was only in line to be integrated like that. It’s a beautiful thing because you want your kids to be multifaceted. You want your kids to experience a lot more than you did as a child,” he said. “So I welcome it. My kids are Taylor Swift fans. They love Florida Georgia Line. But they also love Lil Wayne.”
9:07 – Two hours in, and not even one true, heartfelt moving performance. Even on the worst of these award shows featuring the worst artists, there’s usually something to walk away remembering. Maybe it will be Carrie Underwood’s Oklahoma tribute.
9:06 – Yes, Ashley Monroe! Some bona fide country music! …… for 30 seconds. But we’ll take it!
9:05 – Jeez, the facial expressions of Aldean’s drummer. He looks like he’s passing a sword.
9:03 – At least Jason Aldean is not singing “1994.” Little blessings people. Little blessings.
9:01 – The winner of the Group Video of the Year goes to Lady Antebellum for “Downtown.”
9:00 – No really, The Bacon Brothers actually are a country band. Don’t bother.
8:57 – And Nellie with Florida Georgia Line haven’t even performed yet.
8:53 – …and here’s some band playing some song before we cut to commercials for boner pills and Fruit Loops.
8:50 – And this song is called “The Chain.” “The Chain” people. NOT “Chain Reaction.” C’mon people.
8:49 – Blond, curly-haired chick in Little Big Town to stage crew. “Hey, is there any way I can get a wind machine on me? Yeah, just me.”
8:47 – Miranda Lambert wins for Female Video of the Year.
8:45 – And now Lenny Kravitz is talking to us about the history of country music. Beam me up.
8:43 – That flask Jason Aldean just took a pull from is full of 2% milk.
8:37 – These poor bastards who get 30 seconds to play before the commercials start. Is this a good idea, or would it be better to add a few more full performances where you can get a fair taste of what the artist is throwing down. Appealing to the short attention span.
8:35 – As Mike2 just pointed out in the comments, that was not the first time a George Jones performance has been cut off. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/down-with-the-cma-part-2-corruption-in-performances What a shame.
8:31 – Winner for Duo Video of the Year is Florida Georgia Line for “Cruise.”
8:29 – Funny (& sad) observation from Farce The Music on Twitter: “Well, George didn’t have a video out this year. I’m sure that’s it…”
8:28 – Thanks everyone for stopping by! Feel free to leave your own comments, observations, snark, etc. below in the comments section if you wish. We all have to get through this together!
8:27 – ….and of course they cut it off after 30 seconds to cut to commercial break. Not surprising, but completely unclassy nonetheless.
8:25 – Nice! The Mavericks playing “The Race Is On” in tribute to George Jones! The only folks in the house that have the proper skins on the wall to tribute The Possum.
8:24 – You know, I kind of like this song. I think Keith Urban has a little something.
Okay that’s bullshit. This sucks donkey nuts.
8:21 – Someone call Shooter Jennings and get him on finding out who’s screwing with the teleprompters tonight! (If you get that, give yourself 5 points.)
8:18 – Collaborative Video of the Year Award goes to Jason Aldean, with Luke Bryan and Eric Church for ” The Only Way I Know.”
8:16 – People still buy the Larry the Cable Guy bit? The dude uses a bidet.
8:15 – Jason Eady from Twitter: “New rule: If there is something coming through the PA and it isn’t being played by an instrument on stage you don’t get to call it country.”
8:12 – Max Martin, Shellback, and The Country Music Anti-Christ Scott Borchetta are just as responsible for that awful performance as Taylor Swift. The blood of her career is on their hands.
8:08 – Terrible Taylor! Quit trying to be some hot pop diva! Go back to being yourself: an awkward girl with mild talent, but one that can connect to people by singing heartfelt songs she wrote herself.
8:07 – Despite the allure of Taylor Swift’s exposed inner thigh, this is an AWFUL, PITCHY, glass-shattering performance. Wow!
8:05 – Luke Bryan reading the words to our National Anthem off of his hand.
8:03 – What a trouncing of the hallowed ground of lower Broadway going on right now in Nashville. Layla of The Bluegrass Inn and Robert of Western World should crash Luke Bryan’s party right now.
8:00 – I didn’t know Ellen Degeneres played country music.
7:56 – The idea of the “Wagon Wheel” singalong felt like it fell flat. Didn’t give the song any time to develop.
7:50 – Somewhere Bob Dylan and Ketch Secor are having a dramatic life crisis about their contributions to the Earth. Something like, “Good Lord, what have I done!”
7:48 – The shirt that Darius Rucker is wearing can be purchased in a bag in a 5-pack at Wal-Mart.
7:45 – Isn’t it appropriate that the arena opening that Darius Rucker emerged from as he sings “Wagon Wheel” is called a “Vomitorium.”
7:41 – Never thought you’d pray for a commercial break, until it becomes the sweet provider of relief from a 30-second Dustin Lynch performance.
7:40 – Miranda Lambert won something.
7:38 – Man, Dog Breath and Beth use more bleach than a Super 8 laundry room.
7:37 – Are we supposed to know who the hell this chick is hosting?
7:36 – They should have put Kacey on stage with a stool and acoustic guitar and let her slay these sheep with some real music.
7:35 – I still think Kacey Musgraves has something, despite being moderately disappointed in her latest album. She’s got some amazing songs. This one really isn’t one of them.
7:33 – Wow, The Avett Brothers introducing Kacey Musgraves! This ain’t all bad!
7:29 – The house band for tonight is The Mavericks! Notice in the review of their excellent last album “In Time” SCM Posted on Sunday we called them “old-school all-things-to-all-people house band for America,” unbeknownst they would actually be the house band for tonight. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/the-mavericks-in-time-one-of-the-best-of-2013
7:26 – Whoa, “Ring of Fire” playing us out to commercials! Probably the only real country we’ll hear all night. Let’s savor it!
7:24 – Miranda Lambert’s “Mama’s Broken Heart” was co-written by the up-and-coming Kacey Musgraves, scheduled to perform later.
7:21 – Thoughts and prayers go out to Hunter Hays. Apparently he was injured backstage when his retainer got stuck in Jason Aldean’s mess of wallet chains. Paramedics had to employ bolt cutters to unlock the two country stars.
7:17 – Florida Georgia Line wins “Breakthrough Video of the Year” apparently. It was the one these came from:
7:14 – Florida Georgia Line just won something. Not sure what it is, I was distracted by Kellie Pickler cleavage. They will celebrate by trolling Nashville high school hangouts tonight.
7:12 – Nice. This fruitcake female host doesn’t even know how to say “Darius.” That’s okay, Darius couldn’t accurately enunciate Ketch Secor to save his life.
7:10 – I retract part of my comment at 7:00. Canada is way more country than anything that will transpire tonight. Where’s Corb and Lindi?
7:07 – The CMT Awards are hoping to avoid the controversy of last year when Luke Bryan was disqualified from his “Male Video” Award when it was found he had a vagina. http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/luke-bryan-loses-male-video-award-for-having-a-vagina
7:04 – Lenny Kravitz better watch out. I heard that that weird tall dude from Big & Rich is planning to steal his his shirt and take it to one of those “We Buy Gold” places.
7:00 – What’s more appropriate for a country music awards show then to start of with than a rock star performing a rock song written by Canadians!
6:55 – Some things we can expect:
–Reba McEntire, Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood and Luke Bryan and with )of all people) Dr. Drew Pinsky, Kelsey Grammer, Lorraine Bracco and Vince Vaughn.
–Rapper “Nelly” is performing “Cruise” with Florida Georgia Line
–Carrie Underwood will be doing a tribute to the Oklahoma tornado victims
—Jason Aldean is the host (if you can believe that), and will be performing a song with Lenny Kravitz. Now if that ain’t country….
— Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, Keith Urban and Hunter Hayes and Lady Antebellum with Darius Rucker are all set to perform.
6:50 – So even more so than all the other country award shows, the CMT Awards are almost solely about the presentations. Awards are only given out for videos, and they tend to feel like an afterthought.