I’m not going to go as far as to call it sacrilege, but Thomas Rhett’s song “Beer With Jesus” proves that when it comes to trying to write a pop country hit, nothing is sacred. But if we’re going to say that’s okay or even creative songwriting to “have a beer with Jesus,” where do we draw the line? Here’s some suggestions of other things that might be fun to do with the Son of God.
Beer With Jesus
This year in popular country music, there were some glimmers of hope. Kacey Musgraves’ “Merry Go ‘Round” found some surprising traction and success, and Kellie Pickler’s 100 Proof may go down as one of the best mainstream country albums in years. But of course this was all counter-balanced by a gaggle of the worst songs “country” music has ever seen.
Beer With Jesus, Big Machine Records, Bucky Covington, Corn Star, Craig Morgan, Crusie, Drinking Side of Country, Florida Georgia Line, Kip Moore, Little Big Town, Mike Curb, Pontoon, Scott Borchetta, Shooter Jennings, Somethin' 'Bout A Truck, Taylor Swift, Thomas Rhett, Tim McGraw Truck Yeah, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Jesus may have turned the other cheek, but he also overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple where they didn’t belong. Just like the Romans of biblical times, these pop country fart tards are foreign occupiers who need to get the hell out of country. I don’t pretend to know what Jesus would do, but if I were him, I’d shove my sandal straight up Thomas Rhett’s ass and tell him he could keep his Michelob Ultra.