The Curious Captions of Kenny Rogers’ Mansion Pictures

The Gambler Kenny Rogers has put his palatial $4.8 million-dollar palace on the market in Atlanta, and the 12,000 square foot home that features six bedrooms, eight full baths, an elevator, 10 fireplaces, a pool, a home theater, and a Roman spa on 1.26-acres is enough to make you ooh and ahh. But when Saving Country Music took a more detailed look at some of the captions for the pictures in the real estate brochure, it gave an even deeper insight into the regal lifestyle Kenny Rogers enjoys. Take a look at some of these example below:


“Guests enjoyed their time recreating with the Gambler on the ping-pong table, but found it quite curious when Rogers would bribe them with crisp $100 bills to let him win, even when there were no other observers of the match.”


“Kenny would regularly assemble his close friends together roundtable style on the stately balcony, lean in as if he was about to pronounce something direly important and prompt his compatriots to do the same, and then pass the most hellacious and audible gas that not even a stiff fall breeze could quickly dissipate.”


“The chairs in the home theater were the most comfortable in the house, which made up for how uncomfortable guests felt when they found the theater only played scenes of Swifty hard cussing Brewster Baker from the movie ‘Six Pack’ on continuous loop.”


“Behind the theater’s faux ticket booth, a flight of stairs leads to a rumpus room full of whips, chains, pulleys, and a smogasbord of adult delights manned by a fleet of dexterous and willing mannequins.”


“Once when old friend Dolly Parton had traveled far to see her once frequent duet partner in his stately abode, she ambled over to the brushed copper sink to freshen up. ‘Oh Dolly,’ said Kenny with a thin smile, gently touching her shoulder, ‘That sink is just for show.'”


“Potential buyers will be happy to learn that Kenny’s diabolical isolation room of solitary horrors can also dub as a sauna.”


“As a cherubic angel with a shell as wings looked on, swimmers in Kenny’s bottomless oasis found if they swam deep enough, they would encounter a magical dolphin that would make sweet love to them.”


When architects told Kenny that making landscapes depicted by M.C Escher would be against the laws of physics, Kenny simply replied, “Is YOUR name Kenny Rogers?!? Or is MY name Kenny Rogers!?!”

P.S. – Saving Country Music loves Kenny Rogers. This is all in good fun. Happy Birthday Kenny!

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