Who Are These Dudes? (A questionnaire)

photo: Mason Allen

Only one answer is right.

1. The cast from a reboot of the popular 1980s television show Miami Vice.

2. The indicted conspirators in an underage female sex trafficking ring based out of the Dominican Republic.

3. Spokespeople who would like to tell you about the symptoms and dangers of an enlarged prostate.

4. Assholes trying to convince you to put your life savings in their cryptocurrency exchange.

5. Boner pills salesmen.

6. Models for JCPenny’s exciting new line of upcoming spring fashions for 2023.

7. Dudes that are definitely not aware that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

8. The only humans on planet Earth who would ever conceive of buying their wives a Lexus for Christmas with a big red bow on the top, but can’t because their wealth is hypothetical, and tied to embezzlement schemes tax sheltered in hedge fund derivatives.

9. The pricks in front of you on the golf course taking forever and are completely impervious to the idea they they should let you play through.

10. Guys at a club on South Beach trying to convince women they’re high level cocaine dealers as opposed to dopey middle-aged squares from Des Moines in town for a vacuum cleaner convention.

11. The inexplicable five-time reigning Country Music Association Vocal Group of the Year despite 99% of the general public not being able to pick them out of a lineup, let alone being able to name one of their songs. A.k.a., Old Dominion.

© 2023 Saving Country Music