Chris Gaines Named as Garth Brooks Replacement at Ireland Shows

Chris Gaines

400,000 fans received the disappointing news today that Garth Brooks will not be performing at five sold-out shows scheduled at Dublin’s Croke Park from July 25th through the 29th. The shows were supposed to be the first big concerts for Garth after his 13-year retirement. The local city council refused to grant permits for all five shows consecutively, citing bylaws put in place by residents around the stadium who were concerned about the noise and traffic that would be generated on five straight nights. The council capped the amount of shows at three, and when Garth gave the ultimatum that it was all five shows or nothing, an impasse ensued.

A last ditch effort to salvage all five of the Garth Brooks shows was being shopped around between the local city council and the promoters of the shows on Monday. The idea on the table was to delay the final two shows to satisfy the stadium bylaws. But a defiant Garth Brooks finally decided to pull the plug on the entire idea if local authorities would not play ball.

Though Garth Brooks has made it clear he won’t be showing up to perform at any of the concerts, permits for the first three nights of the show have still been approved. Looking to salvage whatever they can from the debacle, the local promoters have announced they have found a replacement for Brooks, and it will be another entertainer coming out of retirement to perform for the Croke Park crowd. Dark-edged alternative rocker Chris Gaines has been named as the Garth Brooks replacement. It will be the first shows Gains has played in public since being the musical guest on Saturday Night Live in 1999.

Gaines, who released the double-platinum album In The Life of Chris Gaines and had a Top 5 single with “Lost In You” in 1999 says he understands many Garth fans will be disappointed the “Low Places” singer will not be making the trip to Ireland, but he will do everything he can to put on an electrifying show.

Concertgoers with tickets to the first three Croke Park shows are being given a choice to either receive a refund, or use their tickets for the Chris Gaines replacement shows.

“Chris Gaines? Are you kidding me?” one local ticket holder exclaimed after hearing the news. “I’d rather shit a blarney stone.”

Another ticket holder was confused on who Chris Gaines was. “Wasn’t he that gay American Olympic diver who cracked his head on the diving board that one time? Oh, that was Greg Louganis? Yeah screw this, I want my money back. It can’t happen fast enough.”

Rumored to be making guest appearances with Chris Gaines for the shows will be former Saturday Night Live cast member Chris Kattan reprising his famous SNL character “Mango.”

“We knew that no matter who we found as a replacement for Garth, fans were going to be disappointed,” local promoter Patty Frankenfurter said. “But we really feel like Chris Gaines is the closest thing to Garth aside from Garth himself.”

“Mango” could not be reached for comment.

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