Teenagers, and the Music Concert Rite of Passage
The only thing tougher than being a parent is being a teenager. You have the full faculties of a functioning adult physically and you feel ready to take on the world. But you’re still too innocent to know you’re not ready yet.
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For generations, and all around the world, a teenager’s first music concert, on their own, without parental supervision, has been a rite of passage. Maybe the kids (or the parents, really) are slowly acclimated to the concert-going experience by first attending the concerts of family-friendly performers with their parents. And then as they get a little older, mom or dad sits a row or two back, or perhaps the cool uncle stands guard from a distance. But eventually, the teenager has to be allowed to go to the concert on their own without any supervision or safety net. That’s what music concerts are there for, after all.
Parents know music concerts are the perfect environment for temptations. They know there will be alcohol and drugs there, and the smell of reefer waffing through the air. There will be older teenagers doing older teenager things in cramped spaces perfect for inappropriate interactions, especially for young girls. That’s why parents worry, and that’s why teenagers want to go, and without mom and dad. And ultimately, mom and dad acquiesce, because they wanted to go to music concerts on their own when they were teenagers too and do things their parents wouldn’t allow, and their parents wouldn’t let them. And they hated them for it.
So parents eventually get broken down by the pleading, or decide on their own that it’s time, and it’s off into the big scary world of music concerts their boys and girls go. It’s a big decision—deciding when a kid is ready to go it alone at a concert—like deciding a child is old enough to stay home alone, or ready to drive a car, or sip a beer for the first time.
Parents allow their teenagers to go to concerts alone, hoping that all the lessons they’ve taught them over the years pay off in smart decisions and a safe experience. Much of the time this positive outcome is the result. Some of the time it isn’t, but the parents never hear about it because it happened at a music concert and the parents weren’t there. Sometimes the parents do hear about a bad decision, and that’s when there is a problem.
Going to a concert for a teenager is all about breaking limits and testing new ones. It’s about the liberation and revolution live music makes you feel. It’s about the swell of energy you get swept up in when hundreds or thousands of like-minded people cheer out at once. It’s about experiencing things you weren’t supposed to a few short years before, if you even should be now. It’s about way more than just music. Music is just the catalyst; the lubricant.
Deciding it’s the appropriate time for your teenager to go to a music concert alone tends to coincide with the time when parents succumb to the idea that they probably don’t want to know exactly what their teenager is up to, not because they don’t care, but because it will break their heart, even though they know it has to happen. Parents still worry though. They worry a lot. They watch the clock, and wait for the text that the teenager is on their way home. Because that’s what parents do. They worry. And that never subsides at any point in the life of a parent, even after the teenager has been to a concert on their own and returned safe. Even when they move away from home. Especially when they move away from home. Because moving away like a teenager going to a concert on their own and only coming back for holidays.
Ultimately, it’s about trust. You trust yourself as a parent to have done the best job you can to allow your kid to make good decisions. You trust your teenager to have their head on straight, at least somewhat, so they don’t do something too incredibly stupid. And you trust the venue and the community to deliver your teenager back safe to you, maybe with boundaries tested and lessons learned, but no worse for the wear. Because someday that teenager will grow older and eventually lose the rebellion that wanted them to go to a concert alone, and they might even realize how cool it is to go to a concert with their parents and share in that musical experience, together.
And when you send your child out to a music concert on their own, you hope the unthinkable doesn’t happen. But the unthinkable can happen anywhere. It just seems especially heinous for it to happen at a music concert. Because that’s not what music concerts are there for. They’re there for getting away from your parents. But they’re also there for coming back to them afterwards.
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#Manchester pic.twitter.com/LzMioNLp0J
— Ellie Cheetham🌙 (@elliefreyax) May 23, 2017
Corncaster
May 23, 2017 @ 7:32 am
Here’s to sending violent supremacists to hell, where they belong.
Michael Reddy
May 26, 2017 @ 7:22 am
I hope that there is a special part of hell for anybody who uses G-D or religion to perpetrate these heinous acts. These people are nothing more then two bit bullies that use religion to commit murder and terror. Any sane society needs to root these scumbags out and not yet them have any part in their community. My prayers go out to the victims and their families. For humanity’s sake let’s all work for a world that lives in peace with each other.
Monique Lavalette
May 23, 2017 @ 8:20 am
What happened is so sad, not so long ago in Paris, France, now in Manchester, England, when or where does it stop. Yes, there must have been so many young people who where going to their first concert, their first live show… where the unthinkable happened. It is so cruel and awful.
Rest in Peace to those who passed.
albert
May 23, 2017 @ 8:27 am
How warped must a person ( people ) be to think that cowardly acts against innocent , defenseless children furthers or garners support for your cause regardless of how ” noble ” you may believe that cause to be ? How desensitized , disconnected from reality and subservient must you be emotionally to believe that acts like this serve ANY kind of purpose and why would anyone want to be part of a movement that believes they do ? These actions are evil incarnate ….desperate and disgraceful and displaying only the WORST a ‘ human ‘ can be . How askew is your commitment to a ‘ faith ‘ when you interpret that faith as not only supporting but advocating and encouraging actions like this. You are no more than a pawn ….. a disposable minion of evil to be capable of heartlessly carrying out crimes like the crimes commited in Manchester .
Kale
May 23, 2017 @ 1:40 pm
What exactly are attacks like this supposed to accomplish? Do they think killing enough people will scare everybody into believing what they believe, or do they just hate “heretics” so much that they want them all dead? Either way, it’s not logical. Sometimes, I want to torture and kill every last person who does stuff like this, no matter what belief caused them to do it. Wow, I guess it’s really easy to succumb to violence… How can we end violence when peaceful acts make no difference and violence only causes more violence?
CountryKnight
May 23, 2017 @ 11:28 am
Great article, Trigger.
This type of terrorism has been going on for 1400 years. It won’t be stopping any time soon. The scariest part is how it strikes at places we expect to be fun.
Erica
May 23, 2017 @ 12:40 pm
The lone balm of consolation through this horrible tragedy has been the sheer amount of love and support that has been flowing in from around the world and how Manchester immediately came together as a community to help those affected. I pray that I don’t have to see attacks like these, but when I do, I try not to see the anger that led to it. Instead, I do my best to focus on those who are helping out in the aftermath.. It’s this kindness that reminds me that the Jokers of the world aren’t the winners in the long run because we as humans know how to stick together and demonstrate our essential unity.
TwangBob
May 24, 2017 @ 4:24 am
Love is stronger than Hate!
Kale
May 23, 2017 @ 1:26 pm
Actually, the frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until the mid-twenties, so teens aren’t full adults. Anyway, this is the type of thing that makes me consider that a mass extermination plan like on Captain America: Winter Soldier might be a good idea.
Brad
May 23, 2017 @ 2:41 pm
This is a disgusting comment. You’re no different from the attacker if you say something like that.
Chris
May 23, 2017 @ 2:42 pm
Very poignantly written piece, Trig.
All I have thought about is the young teenagers, but their friends and families are hurting too.
Kevin Wortman
May 23, 2017 @ 6:53 pm
My guess is that Kale isn’t stinky or sweaty and doesn’t wipe his ass with his hand or have sex with goats and/or camels….so definately ifferent from the attacker.
Erik North
May 23, 2017 @ 7:17 pm
I myself never got the experience of going to concerts when I was a teenager. In fact, it wasn’t until I was a few months short of my 25th birthday, in 1995, that I went to my first one, which was Linda Ronstadt here in L.A. at the (now defunct) Universal Amphitheater (I saw her again there twice more, in 2004 and 2006). I have been going to summer concerts at the Hollywood Bowl since 1997, but those are of the classical music and Hollywood film music variety (I am big on both). The Hollywood Bowl, incidentally, is an outdoor venue that seats a capacity of 18,000; and as such, it can be considered a soft target for acts of terrorism like what we saw in Manchester. But security measures have managed to keep things incredibly safe there.
Like everyone else, I feel a great deal of sympathy and sorrow for the victims and survivors of what took place in Manchester. But I think it is important that we put these acts of terrorism into context and not just react and lash out without considering the unintended consequences of such actions. Our lashing out with violent rhetoric and actions, even after so heinous an act as 9/11, is what the terrorists want us to do. Killing is only a short-term goal for groups like ISIS, Al Qaeda, and all other terror organizations. The long-term goal of terrorists is to TERRRORIZE, to sow fear and terror in us, and to make us become like THEM. Unfortunately, too many times, we only think in the short-term, as opposed to the long-term. Anger is a natural reaction to things like this, but we can’t afford to have it be the ONLY one. Otherwise, ISIS and Al Qaeda win, and we ALL LOSE.
Kevin Wortman
May 23, 2017 @ 7:27 pm
First and foremost, it totaly irks me that we react to these attacks by lashing out…If we know who to strike, we should be premptively kicking their ass, not waiting on them to make a move.
Ajax1972
May 24, 2017 @ 2:21 am
We will light some candels, say we condem the attack, say we will not be broken maybe hold hands. But do nothing, everyone knows what the problem is, where these losers come from what they want and what they believe. I am reminded by an idiot saying the famous word’s, islam is aan relegion of peace…..
Robert Hill
May 24, 2017 @ 8:42 am
Are you referring to George W. Bush?
Batterycap
May 24, 2017 @ 1:11 pm
I believe he is, and of course to Barack Hussein Obama.
Robert Hill
May 24, 2017 @ 8:41 am
Ajax1972, are you referring to George W. Bush?
Stork
May 24, 2017 @ 3:11 pm
My first solo concert was Willie Nelson’s country throw down tour in 2010, I was almost 16 that summer but I went with a girl a few years my senior, and I can’t remember the entire bill, but jamey johnson opening for willie was about as surreal as it gets. Yes I got drunk, and other things you’d expect at a willie nelson show (but I was doing these things anyway). Dad gave me an 11 pm curfew, and while I might have been a rebellious little shit I was not about to cross that bridge withy m hard ass old man so I made it home in the nick of time but missed the end of the show. I agree, this is an awesome right of passage.
I used to try and get away from my folks, but now dad and I are getting ready for our third sturgill show in about a month. Funny how things change when they look at you as an adult.
Bear
May 24, 2017 @ 4:46 pm
Well this will surely cause parents to over-react thus creating more tension than is already in the air. You can’t live life around what might happen. I’m sorry I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees.
That said my first live show alone was Keiko Matsui at Kimball’s East. I had written her a fan letter at nineteen and she sent me a postcard inviting me to her show. It was a great catalyst for me divng depper and wider into music and coming into my own.
Big Texas Mike
May 24, 2017 @ 11:52 pm
What’s the average war-torn immigrant attacks now on the Western Front? an average of every nine days? Well, that just goes hand in hand with the symbolism that released the whole violation of Home Front Sanctity after the Cold War and let loose attacks on our West with 9/11 kicking it off; the two DeepState branches split now between people that have an identity or those that are willing to sell out for some idilic corporate dream.
Thomas Jameson
July 5, 2019 @ 9:12 am
It’s good to know that going to concerts as a teenager is all about liberation and feeling free and alive. My daughter really wants to go to a country music festival with her friends that’s coming up in a few months, and my wife and I are debating whether or not we should let her go. I’ll be sure to discuss this point in further detail with my wife.