Translating Florida Georgia Line’s Sexual Innuendo

florida-georgia-lineWARNING: Language (sexual)

Professed Christians Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley, known collectively as the pop country mega duo Florida Georgia Line have more euphemistic language on their new album Anything Goes than a salty-mouthed locker room. If you’ve been wondering what the hell they actually mean when they sing lines like, “Stick the pink umbrella in your drink,” then here are some useful translations of Florida Georgia Line’s most sexually-charged lines.

As Saving Country Music explained while declaring Anything Goes the worst album ever, “Brian Kelley and Tyler Hubbard have their own language, partial to the most grammatically-challenged and stupefying vocabulary lurking in the dankest sewers of the English dialect, but not residing firmly in any specific one of them so no truly proper translation can be obtained. It’s like Pig Latin for douchewads understood by them and them only.” So please understand if certain translations could be interpreted a different way.

To save virgin eyes, medical terms have been used where possible. But of course, some language can only be properly translated by using other slang words.

And to be fair, sexual innuendo has been used in country music from very early on to circumvent the genre’s rigid moral codes, and sometimes to instill smart wit in the lyricism. However Florida Georgia Line’s poor use of innuendo should not be compared to these proud traditions.


FGL: “I sit you up on the kitchen sink. Stick the pink umbrella in your drink.”

Translation: “I sit you up on the kitchen sink. Stick my penis in your vagina.”

This line from Florida Georgia Line’s song “Sun Daze” has to be the most egregious innuendo of the entire project, not particularly well-veiled, and diseased in so many ways. The key to its sexual pervertedness is the use of “the” in the second line instead of “a.” If the line had been, “Stick a pink umbrella in your drink,” then it could have been passed off as more literal, and in turn would have made the innuendo more effective. But using “the” makes no mistake about what is being implied (keep it simple for FGL fans, I guess).

Even if you’re a fan of perverted innuendo, there still seems to be something universally unhealthy about alluding to male genitalia as “pink” anything, though admittedly the hue is somewhat accurate. Even more troubling is that a female was in on the “Sun Daze” songwriting session in the person of Sarah Buxton. One would have thought she would have put the stop sign up on this one, but no dice.


FGL: “Good Good” (title of third song on Anything Goes)

Translation: “Favorable Pussy” (slang for female genitals)

Florida Georgia Line uses the word “good” on Anything Goes 25 times, including multiple times as “good good.” The only word they use more is “girl”—used a whopping 42 times.

According to the Urban Dictionary, using the word “good” twice in succession means, “High quality kegel muscles that keep your significant other coming back and not looking for other people to satisfy their needs.” The example the Urban Dictionary uses is “So I’ve been dating this guy for three weeks, and yesterday he told me he loved me. I got that Good Good.”

Using “good good” as a euphemism for “pussy” is illustrated in the song by Ashanti also called “Good Good.”

When my man leave the house, I know he’s comin’ right back
I got that good good, I got that good good
No matter how much he might try to act, he know just where it’s at
I got that good good, I got that good good

I put it on him right, I do it every night
I leave him sittin’ mouth open like wheww
So I don’t worry bout nobody takin’ mine
Cause I know just the right thing to do (I got that good good)

When Tyler Hubbard was asked what “good good” meant by The National Post, he said, “It’s just all over the album, it’s fun, it’s words that nobody’s ever said before.”

Huh.


FGL: “And let me stay inside your drink.”

Translation: “And let me keep my penis in your vagina.”

From the song “Bumpin’ The Night” (which is innuendo itself), this line is yet another illustration of the adolescent mindset Florida Georgia Line has towards the human sexual anatomy.


FGL: “There it is, yeah, that’s the sweet spot. Blow your smoke, I’m gonna breathe it in, girl.”

Translation: “You have found the optimum erogenous zone. Continue to perform oral sex on me.

From the song with the divine title “Angel.” It’s the song built from the unforgivable cliché, “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?” Incidentally, Florida Georgia Line says the word “angel” 21 times on Anything Goes.


Other Potential/Untranslatable Innuendos

“Put a little shine on the vinyl seat.”

“If you want you can pet on my Harley.”

“Flow you the trouble like a champagne bubble, sayin'”


A Proper Use of Sexual Innuendo in Country Music: