Haha. Okay… So this is how Sam Hunt is making his music, “… more traditional in terms of the genre … that’s definitely where the songs are leaning at this point,” like he promised us he was doing last summer? By filching a piece of a sacred Webb Pierce classic and misappropriating it for a derivative drum-looped pop song?
Down with Pop Country
It’s never too late to revitalize your career, or to train wreck it. Tim McGraw saw all the hubbub being made over “Old Town Road” and decided he could mumble rap about pure nonsense and call it country too. Bad for him though, none of the Gen Z’ers with their Tik-Tok apps know or care who Tim McGraw is.
This is the data from the Saving Country Music investigation into the presence of fake accounts on streaming services such as Spotify, Amazon, Apple Music, Google Play, and YouTube, including the names of the artists affected, the names of the fake accounts, and the specific songs taken.
Alright, so we’ve run down the Saving Country Music Album of the Year nominees, and awarded The Winner. And we’ve also populated the 2019 Essential Albums List. Now it’s time to single out the dogs of the last calendar year and let them hear it. Here ladies and gentlemen are your WORST “Country” Albums for 2019.
I want to congratulate Kenny Chesney on all of his great country music success with all the albums sold, the massive stadium shows, the incredible sheen he’s able to buff into his forehead, that strange marriage to Renee Zelleweger and whatever happened there, and of course, his always deliciously on-point Panama Jack attire. What an […]
One sign that mainstream country music continues to improve is the decrease in “country” songs that were worthy of rants in 2019 compared to previous years. However there were a few exceptions in 2019, and songs worthy of taking out back to the woodshed. Our full-throated opposition to these monstrosities misappropriated as “country.”
It wasn’t just that it was bad country. It’s that it was just bad music, and the assessment of this was almost universal. There stands Brantley Gilbert with his stupid brass knuckles microphone and cheesy Affliction T-shirt machismo attitude, and his bandmates with their mohawks and dreadheads miming to a backing track
“Kinfolks” is Sam Hunt thinking you’ll consider this a country song just because the lyrical hook is a rural colloquialism. This is what passes for “country” in Sam Hunt’s book, while we’re supposed to ignore the clap track and hip-pop phrasing. Sam Hunt left a huge mess behind in country music when he disappeared a few years ago.
The entirety of Blake Shelton’s career just devolved quicker than a political discussion with your drunk and racist uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. All the headway country music has made over the last couple of years, and now we have to figure out how to maneuver around this “Hell Right” bullshit.
Believe it or not, Sam Hunt released his debut record now nearly six years ago. Sam hasn’t just been slow on delivering a sophomore record, he’s been outright missing in action. There were rumors about Sam Hunt outright retiring. But his long drought of not recording new music is about to be over.
Dear NFL Fans, As the true disciples and aficionados of actual country music, we want to formally apologize to you all for the bad country music and doltish characters you will be forced to endure during this week’s NFL Draft coverage. Please accept our deepest apologies.
For the pot holiday 4/20, the Godfather of Bro-Country Brantley Gilbert reminds us that our prayers to country music Jesus to inflict pestilence upon his singing voice, or at least permanently impair him with chronic laryngitis to render him irrevocably unable to perform have gone wholly unanswered.
At this point you just can’t even look away. Like coming up on some grizzly roadside accident, you know it’s going to be grotesque, horrific, and mentally scarring for the rest of your life. But even as you cover your face, the index finger raises ever so slightly, and you sneak a peep. And yes, it’s as bad as you expected.
Jason Aldean will receive the Dick Award for the Decade from the ACMs come April—“Dick” being for Dick Clark, who this decade award was just renamed after, and who luckily is dead so he doesn’t have to see his name besmirched by being associated with the likes of Jason Aldean.
“Twelve Days of Country Radio Christmas” as set to the final verse of “Twelve Days of Christmas,” orig. composition 1780, England. Modern composer © Frederic Austin circa 1909. Current composer Kyle “Trigger” Coroneos © 2018.
Of course people are different. We learn that at six-years-old. Of course everyone should be respectful to each other, and try to see other people’s perspectives. But this is the premise for a nursery rhyme, not a country song. Adults use subtly, nuance, and story to get important points across they wish to convey in music.
We took the time to celebrate some of the Best Songs Released in 2018, as well as some of the Best Albums, so now it’s time to place a clothespin firmly on our noses, slip on some elbow-length rubber gloves, and go digging through the cesspool that is radio country to dredge up the absolute worst offenses.
Cute, Florida Georgia Line, cute. Call your latest album Can’t Say I Ain’t Country and act as if this somehow insulates you against what any country music fan worth their salt already knows inherently. I can, and will say you ain’t country if I damn well please, as will the rest of us.
Bad pop star Walker Hayes recently infiltrated the mainstream country ranks after unleashing the terrible hit “You Broke Up With Me.” Now this hack is going out on tour, and since he has no original thoughts, Walker and his PR team have chosen to put the task of naming the upcoming tour in the hands of the unwashed masses.
The very mild and misappropriated traditional country moments in “Down To The Honky Tonk” are not what make this song appealing or even redeemable to true country fans, it’s what’s wrong with it. The whole premise of “Down To The Honky Tonk” is a dud.
Country music still needs saving ladies and gentlemen, and is still searching for the absolute statistical rock bottom when it comes to quality and substance in songs. Defining the “worst” has officially reached new parameters. So let’s cover our ears, pinch our noses, and set these stinking piles of refuse up to ceremoniously knock them down.
Well, it’s happened. After Music Row hijacked the term “Outlaw” and ran it into the ground with uncool pop country douchewads to the point where the term is virtually unable to be rehabilitated, they’re now moving on to the term “real country” with help from Shania Twain and Jake Owen.