No Seriously, Walker Hayes’ “You Broke Up with Me” is the Worst ‘Country’ Song Ever
WARNING: Language
Imagine your formative, adolescent self, all bright eyed and full of wonder, with rosy cheeks and peach fuzz, waking up to the sound of your parents having wild, loud, sweaty, uninhibited old people unprotected sex right beside you, and all the guttural utterances, moans, and other indiscernible and acrid noises thereof scarring your precious little ears in a post traumatic manner that will stick with you for eternity, and pursue you in every waking moment for the rest of your life.
This is how the new song from Sam Hunt knockoff and virtually nobody Walker Hayes called “You Broke Up with Me” starts off. And somehow, inexplicably, it discovers a path forward that despite the insurmountable odds, gets even worse from there.
We’ve reached a new, dubious low in country music ladies and gentlemen. We’re far beyond Taylor Swift releasing pop songs and calling them country. We’re well removed from Jerrod Niemann making idiotic EDM racket with “Drink To That All Night,” basically ending his career so that EDM pop can encroach into country like never before. We’re even a step further than Sam Hunt and his shittastic offerings that have pushed the boundaries of “country” to not just dangerous levels in testing its elasticity before it bursts like a bubble and implodes, but allows country music to become indiscernible from all other popular music in a grand entrance to country music’s membership to the monogenre.
What we have with “You Broke Up with Me” is a song that doesn’t just draw and quarter any and all ideas of what quality or country music content is supposed to be, it expressly looks to achieve the exact scientifically certified diametrically opposed opposite sounds and themes to what actual country music is.
This song is so bad, and Walker Hayes so devoid of talent, he can’t even fucking whistle right. It sounds like when a 6-year-old tries to whistle for the first time, and it’s more breath than tone. Bobby McFerrin, shield your ears. And the pseudo-rapped words of the song is like some sort of transmogrified Kardashian speak the likes that 14-year-old adolescent boys whose balls just dropped would use on Instagram.
“Ain’t nobody making you watch me get my forget you on.”
What kind of fuck nutted douche babble is this?
Usually these such songs are not even strung together by anything that would resemble a “story,” but “You Broke Up with Me” is the exception. However the story at the heart of the song—if you can translate it from the idiotic, mealy-mouthed douche speak it’s white boy urban slurred in—it’s about some self-centered asshole trying to make his ex jealous and justifying it because “Hey, you broke up with me.”
You would think such shallow, narcissistic bullshit would be coming from some wet-behind-the-ears early 20-something immersed in the club life and all the self-absorbed trappings thereof, right? Especially seeing how this song is being offered in hopes of launching a brand new superstar never heard before in country music. But the entire opposite is the case. Similar to setting a new low for the amount of non country a “country” song can achieve, Walker Hays also has earned the abominable distinction of being the most inauthentic author of such material in country music history.
Walker Hayes isn’t in tune with the night life as a spry, 23-year old with Axe body spray glistening his pecks and a pocket full of prophylactics hoping to be expended after a night at the club. He’s a married, 37-year-old with six kids. And no, that’s not hyperbole. Walker Hayes moved to Nashville 12 years ago with his wife, and has been failing in the country music business ever since. Once signed to Capitol Records Nashville, he’s released four singles, all of which couldn’t get past the Top 40 barrier. So how did this no name guy who will be due for a prostate check in a few years get slotted as country music’s next superstar?
It might actually be the intangibles and industry tentacles extending from Walker Hayes and “You Broke Up with Me” that make the whole thing so sinister. This is not just the lead single from a Sam Hunt knockoff you’ve never heard of before. Walker Hayes is the flagship artist for a new major label imprint called Monument Records—the old Fred Foster label that at one point housed Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson—that has recently been revitalized by Sony, with none other than songwriter and Sam Hunt producer Shane McAnally serving as co-president.
Walker Hays has been decided upon as Monument’s golden goose, and “You Broke Up with Me” as the vehicle to get him to superstardom. We’re already seeing incredible promotional cash being thrown behind this song. They’re taking out full page ads in industry periodicals, wining and dining the industry, erecting billboards around Nashville, whatever it takes to get Walker Hayes and “You Broke Up with Me” to #1, which will happen. It’s a similar scenario to when the new label Big Loud Mountain launched Chris Lane (another Sam Hunt doppelganger) via his single “Fix.” They would gladly spend $2 million to make $1 million off of one song simply to launch a celebrity “franchise” from which to build their label and brand around.
It’s an investment at the expense of country music and the listening public. And since country radio will allow anyone to waltz in and nab a #1 for a week (unless they’re a woman of course), it makes crowning any Joe off the street with average skills as a mega superstar entirely possible. And Walker Hayes, his fucking laptop (which is how this song was made as can be seen in the video below), and his six kids will be the next beneficiary, while people who actually make fucking music with fucking instruments go out-of-business all up and down Music Row. Idiotic digital automation has officially found its way to country music, which used to be the last bastion of the human touch in audio recording—yet another dishonorable distinction that deserves to be assigned to his most heinous of “songs.”
But I don’t even blame Walker Hayes for this. He’s just trying to put food on the table for his family, and is doing so by chasing the trend. He’s an unwitting pawn, a faceless vessel from which behind-the-scenes string pullers can make millions, principally Shane McAnally, which now more than ever, is being unmasked as the preeminent asshole screwing over country music solely for financial benefit, while trying to remake country music in his sole image because he’s too lazy to move to one of the coasts where his “music” skills would be plyed more appropriately.
Shane McAnally could write 1,000 “Drinkin’ Problem” songs by Midland or songs by Wheeler Walker Jr., and it would never make up for the utter destruction he’s caused for entire swaths of the country music industry. I’d even go as far as to say—especially now with the revelation of Monument, Walker Hayes, and “You Broke Up with Me”—that Shane McAnally, for political and cultural reasons, is purposely trying to remake what he sees as idiotic redneck culture into an institutionally urbanized style as to eradicate an entire way of life so that he can feel more comfortable in his own environs. It is a closed-minded, subversive agenda that must be stopped for the preservation of the culture that means something deep and inherent to the millions of rural-dwelling individuals in the United States and beyond.
“You Broke Up with Me” is not just another shitty song. It is an extremely important moment in country music, where either a line in the sand is drawn, preserving the natural order and boundaries of what country music is, preserving the jobs of hundreds of world-class musicians who rely on the industry to pay their bills and raise their families. Or do we allow Shane McAnally, and some washed-up fuckstick with a laptop to take over the entire industry and remake it in a way that whitewashes country music’s vibrant and vital culture that gives identity to millions of people?
Unfortunately, we all know the answer.
Bill
June 26, 2017 @ 11:42 am
Are you sure, Watson, the IBM AI computer, didn’t write and sing that piece of crap song?
Judd
June 27, 2017 @ 5:25 pm
That may be a low blow to Watson. It’s more capable than who wrote this
Janis dunlow
August 6, 2017 @ 6:34 am
This is has got to be the worst article ever written. You just showed how jealous you are of Walker Hayes! It is a great song and it will make it to #1!! So many jealous people on this thread. It is so obvious!
the realist
August 7, 2017 @ 2:02 pm
@ Janis dunlow – Let me break down your post to its real meaning. Your post actually says this: OMG!!!!! Walker Hayes is like so hot!!!!! I like am so in love with him, I like hope to meet him one day and like hope to get his autograph. He’s like soooooo dreamy!!!!!!!! I’m like sooooo in love with him. I like don’t really care about this song as much as I like looking at him and wishing he was like all mine..
Rosalyn
August 22, 2017 @ 7:01 pm
I am a 64 year old woman and do not find Walker Hayes at all hot (now, George Straight is hot), but I like the song, “You Broke Up With Me”. I like it enough to want to know more about the song. Unfortunately, Googling it led me to this very rambling, spite filled piece of misguided opinion.
Amanda
October 23, 2017 @ 8:04 pm
George STRAIT.
Learn to spell his name right.
BringBackCountry
August 9, 2017 @ 6:01 am
Janis, I’m confused as to why you’re even reading this article, if that’s the way you feel. You might be better served to check out Rolling Stone Country. Certainly not this site.
John
August 17, 2017 @ 4:10 pm
So your stance is only people that agree with you should have an opinion? Seems really shallow.
Madison
June 29, 2018 @ 6:46 pm
You cuss like a sailor, you probably couldn’t do this any better than Walker, and thank you very much, but this is not how you express your dislike for this song. As others have said, you’re just jealous. And apparently you don’t care about Walker’s or anyone else’s feelings. You’re just being an ass for no reason. This whole site is stupid.
Greg Halvorson
June 26, 2017 @ 11:46 am
This is, quite literally, one of the WORST songs ever written, a sad, pathetic, artistic and musical calamity detrimental to every unfortunate person who degrades their soul to waste precious seconds of their life listening to it.
Facebook: Halvorsong
Sam
June 26, 2017 @ 11:50 am
Is that Sam Hunt’s twin?
Tom
June 26, 2017 @ 12:02 pm
How many acorns does that dude have stuffed in his cheeks?
BlackHawgDown
June 27, 2017 @ 6:30 pm
He stuffed something in his cheeks, but it wasn’t acorns in order to get the record deal.
Bertox
June 27, 2017 @ 7:23 pm
What you’re saying is just nuts
Rosalyn
August 22, 2017 @ 7:04 pm
What does the shape of his face have to do with the song?
Tom
August 23, 2017 @ 8:05 am
Nothing, unless singing with all those acorns stuffed in his cheeks muffles his voice. Like Eric Church.
But I was commenting on his photo, not the song.
FeedThemHogs
June 26, 2017 @ 12:03 pm
This is it. The only thing in existence that “still more country than Sam Hunt” doesn’t apply to.
MH
June 26, 2017 @ 12:06 pm
Wow, 37 years old and releasing this shit. Incredible.
Chris_Steakhouse
June 26, 2017 @ 12:08 pm
Chris Janson’s “Fix A Drink” is still worse IMO
The Ghost of Buckshot Jones
June 26, 2017 @ 12:20 pm
Yea, this is just dumb and pretty embarrassing. Fix a drink literally makes me angry when I hear it. .
Trigger
June 26, 2017 @ 1:20 pm
The intangibles about what this song is looking to accomplish, namely the launching of the new Monument Records that made its name off of the early recording of Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson into a Sam Hunt factory for Shane McAnally, is what makes it worse than any other song in my opinion. But of course, this distinction is apt to be broken sooner than later. That is the way these things go.
Barstool Hero
June 26, 2017 @ 1:46 pm
It’s blasphemous. They’re taking the Monument Records name in vain.
Erik North
June 26, 2017 @ 4:53 pm
Just when you thought it was safe to turn your radio again….
Quite simply, Nashville is in the business of selling people horseshit and saying it smells like Chanel No. 5; and this bit of Bandini is the latest example of such.
the pistolero
June 26, 2017 @ 5:23 pm
Monument Records has also been revived by Sony before; it was the label on which the Dxie Chicks released Wide Open Spaces.
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 6:06 pm
In my opinion, Fix a Drink is just generic and stupid. It’s not great, but there are worse things out there. Like this and Body Like a Backroad. And Todd O’Neill’s Love Again. Trigger should totally review Love Again. It would be a great read.
Dobe Daddy
June 26, 2017 @ 12:14 pm
In other news, Johnny Paycheck rose from the dead today, just to plant a boot in Walker Hayes’ ass.
Kevin Davis
June 26, 2017 @ 12:14 pm
Well, I thought that 2017 would be worse than 2016, and this is exactly what I imagined. “The Fighter” and “Body Like a Back Road” were early indications. And currently we have Dylan Scott’s “My Girl” and Thomas Rhett’s “Craving You” aiming for the top spot on Country Airplay within the next couple weeks. Even as bad as things were in the past few years, we never imagined this. Meanwhile, someone like Stephanie Quayle fails to find a large audience, despite being well-within the mainstream by any reasonable standard and being gorgeous on top of that.
-Ed.
June 26, 2017 @ 12:15 pm
Nope. This self-absorbed stud muffin’s attempt at a country song can be the second worst song ever. First place still goes to Muskrat Love. And yes it was so a country song! How can a song about two muskrats fuckin not be country? Too bad good ol Walker didn’t put in a muskrat verse, then he would have won first place due to his respect for history. Parent sex was a great try, though.
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 6:08 pm
This is awful, but worst country song ever still goes to Thomas Rhett’s South Side. If anyone can make it the whole way through that atrocity, you deserve a million dollars. I lasted 45 seconds.
Steve
June 26, 2017 @ 12:19 pm
-.5 hahahahahahaha
Another reason he’s somehow relevant is because he sucks off Whiskey Riff and they return the favor.
I miss Stevie Gaines
June 26, 2017 @ 2:16 pm
My first sighting of a -5 too!
Gena R.
June 26, 2017 @ 5:41 pm
I could barely handle 45 seconds. :p Forget a “guns” rating (even a negative one) — this deserves an opposite rating, like “butter”…
Mike
July 6, 2017 @ 10:00 am
I’m just waiting for the Whiskey Riff article in which some Northwestern University College of Journalism reject says this single will
A. “Melt your face off”
B. “Get you pregnant”
C. Is #(insertannoyingdouchebagcliche)goals
RD
June 26, 2017 @ 12:23 pm
Wow. This song actually rivals Summer Girls by LFO for the title of worst song ever.
LG
June 26, 2017 @ 3:30 pm
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton.
Gena R.
June 26, 2017 @ 5:46 pm
Billy Shakespeare wrote a bunch of sonnets. 😉
RD
June 26, 2017 @ 6:07 pm
Prince sounded like a bitch in Purple Rain.
Mike
June 28, 2017 @ 10:04 am
Varg Vikernes killed Euronymous
John
June 26, 2017 @ 12:25 pm
This song gave me chlamydia. Fuck you Walker Hayes.
Doyle Hargraves
June 26, 2017 @ 12:25 pm
My mom doesn’t even like this cheese dick and she’s a pop country fan from hell.
Brad Miller
June 26, 2017 @ 12:26 pm
This is beyond pathetic. Digital, overdubbed, diarrhea. Whoever wrote this might be lucky if they have an IQ of 40 in the hot sun.
Gary H
June 26, 2017 @ 12:34 pm
Words cannot express the sheer awfulness of this song (and artist). But rest assured it WILL reach #1. It’s too bad not to. Just curious, how far did anyone get into the video (I lasted 46 seconds!)
Angelo Rinaldi
June 26, 2017 @ 12:35 pm
Walker Hayes is probably a cyborg built by Shane.
That’s the only explanation.
A human would never record a song like this one.
Tezca
June 26, 2017 @ 3:36 pm
Lol the Doctor Who fan in me want to correct that to a cyberman build by Shane lol 😛 (sorry had to make a ref joke there)
Gena R.
June 26, 2017 @ 6:04 pm
Speaking of DW, this song makes me want to go Dalek on it — “Exterminate! EXTERMINATE! DESTROY!” 😀
Tezca
June 26, 2017 @ 6:13 pm
XD yes exactly, make us all want to go Dalek on it lol
“Exterminate this song! Exterminate! Externinate!” 😛 lol
Barstool Hero
June 26, 2017 @ 12:44 pm
This sounds like some 90’s one hit wonder, a la Smash Mouth. “Hey now, you’re a “country” star, get your game on, get paid”. Horrible. This song is the middle finger back at Johnny Cash, and McAnally the hand responsible.
Barstool Hero
June 26, 2017 @ 12:46 pm
P.S. The article was dead-on and hilarious, and these comments are some of the funniest I’ve read here so far.
Mike
June 26, 2017 @ 12:49 pm
There was a point in there that sounded exactly like some other crappy song… thank you (and damn you) for reminding me what it was.
Mike
June 26, 2017 @ 12:48 pm
I was waiting for the wood paneled walls to fade away to a padded room revealing that this tortured SOB is actually a victim trapped in the insane game that is country music. Then we zoom out to a real country fan crying in a truck, trying to turn the station, but the song is on every station. Then we zoom out again and realize it’s all taking place in hell. And then we wake up and realize it’s just another day, just another crappy song, and that we don’t have to listen to it. And we’re thankful that we’re not living in a vacuum, although, listening to a vacuum would be preferable to that God-awful song.
Josh Sborz
June 26, 2017 @ 2:58 pm
This is gold.
Melissa
June 26, 2017 @ 12:55 pm
Is… is this actually the song? It sounds like a bad demo.
Jim Bob Junior
June 26, 2017 @ 1:11 pm
Jeez, no wonder why she broke up with him.
Henning
June 26, 2017 @ 1:23 pm
They keep messing up the punctuation.
When it says “Produced by Shane McAnally”
it actually means: “Produced by Shane Mc, anally.”
CountryKnight
June 26, 2017 @ 1:27 pm
“Why Wait for Summer” was a great song.
This is an abomination.
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 6:34 pm
Why Wait for Summer was pretty decent. Better than 60% of mainstream country radio in 2017. Pants was a great song (although I might be the only one who thinks so, I thought it was hilarious), and it was actually somewhat country. This is god-awful in every sense of the word.
Nancy
July 15, 2017 @ 5:26 pm
I liked Pants also, thought it was hilarious. I saw Walker in concert a few years back, and he has a great voice. I’d say he did this song according to how they wanted it, and is doing what it takes to try to get back in.
SauceisBoss
June 26, 2017 @ 1:30 pm
I got to “what kind of fuck nutted..”, paused, reflected on the phrase and decided I will use it in everyday life going forward. What a way with words you have!
Kris
June 26, 2017 @ 1:39 pm
It could be the wood paneling that makes this song “country.” Possibly??
Steve
June 26, 2017 @ 1:43 pm
That 2 second bit of pseudo-boom boxing at the beginning reminded me of “Stay Don’t Go” by Spoon and then the whole thing drove off the cliff.
Corncaster
June 26, 2017 @ 1:45 pm
The DIY staging here is meant to connect to the Soundcloud rap movement?
Computers are instruments now, Trig. This is standard 120 bpm pocket groove.
The song is credited to: Songwriters: KYLIE SACKLEY, THOMAS MARC ARCHER, WALKER HAYES
© THE BICYCLE MUSIC COMPANY, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
Walker Hayes looks like an underwear model. Maybe McAnally has a crush on him.
By the way, McAnally’s own first record? Laughably bad. Maybe this is all just a revenge thing for him.
CraigR.
June 26, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
May I comment Trig about your quote about Shane McAnally? You wrote “Shane McAnally for political and cultural reasons, is purposely trying to remake what he sees as idiotic redneck culture into an institutionally urbanized style as to eradicate an entire way of life so that he can feel more comfortable in his own environs”. I think what you are trying to say is that as a gay man in a traditional, white, straight male dominated world, McAnally is using his new found power to contort country music into some kinds of urban genre so that as a gay man he will feel more accepted and equal in a world where he has gained some acceptance in as a songwriter and producer? If that is correct, as a gay man I agree 100%. I see that in this crappy music, in Thomas Rhett, in Sam Hunt, and what ever sound is currently coming out of Little Big Town. And it what ruined The Band Perry. It differs from “bro-country” in that some gay men could listen to and find a comfortable, familiar club beat. It’s disgusting. As a gay man who loves country music I have never listened to it find acceptance and comfort in my own sexual nature, but to find acceptance and comfort in my own self with a shared community. If Shane wants to ruin country for the sake of his own insecurity about being gay then he is terrorist to country music.
And I hate all the hands movements. You can see them in any rap video or gay nightclub but they don’t belong in country music.
Trigger
June 26, 2017 @ 2:47 pm
CraigR,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment and perspective on this matter. I agree that these sort of urban identifiers such as the hand gestures and such don’t belong in country. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. I have nothing against hip-hop culture. I want hip-hop culture to be able to be vibrant and expressive in its own manner, and not be homogenized by people like Walker Hayes or Sam Hunt, who are culturally appropriating something to make it commercially expedient to them. Collaboration is great. Creating a situation where you can’t identify if a song is hip-hop, pop, or country is not diversity like some like to sell it as, it is the death of diversity.
All that said, I did not take into account Shane McAnally’s sexual orientation when I said, “Shane McAnally for political and cultural reasons, is purposely trying to remake what he sees as idiotic redneck culture into an institutionally urbanized style as to eradicate an entire way of life so that he can feel more comfortable in his own environs.” If I had, I would have said as much. And I hope people would believe me about that, if for no other reason than my history of not mincing words, but coming out and saying what I believe, be damned the repercussions or misunderstanding.
I think it’s a good thing that folks like Shane McAnally, CMT Cody, Brandy Clark, Brandi Carlile, or whomever, can succeed in this industry despite their sexual orientation, and despite what is considered the traditionally closed-minded country music fan and industry (though I would quibble with that assessment to some extent). Even though I think the music Shane McAnally makes is mostly shit, the fact that he can succeed in the country music business to the extent he has I think marks and important step forward for the genre, and hopefully let’s us know that someone entering the business who happens to be gay will be given the same opportunities to success as anyone else. Of course, the lack of women in the charts or succeeding in the business is another story, and is partly due to some of the artists and songs Shane McAnally has been responsible for behind-the-scenes. So there is still plenty of bigotry in the industry, but I hope we have at least passed the hurdle when it comes to gay people not feeling comfortable in the industry.
My issue with Shane McAnally is that he clearly likes this highly urbanized style of music indicative from Sam Hunt, Old Dominion, now Walker Hayes, and some of the dozen other songs and artists he’s been a part of, and wants to rework country in that direction. I think part and parcel with that, he sees this as an exercise that could break down perceived prejudices and closed-mindedness of traditional country fans. Now with this Walker Hayes single, it really does feel like an agenda. Perhaps his sexual orientation plays into that somehow, but I find this more as rural vs. urban, than gay vs. straight. I’d even couch it as male vs. female, as many of these songs take a very degrading perspective towards women, including “You Broke Up with Me.”
This is not country music. If it’s what some people want to listen to, great. Then tune into the pop station where it belongs. But as long as this is being sold as country, it works to eradicate the native culture of America’s agrarian roots. And when I see the same stuff coming from the same guy, I can’t help but believe there’s an agenda behind it.
Fuzzy TwoShirts
June 26, 2017 @ 2:51 pm
good thoughts Trigger.
you are such an insightful guy.
I just think “song sucks, artist stupid, fans stupid, producers are waste of tax dollars”
Honky
June 26, 2017 @ 6:10 pm
Trigger,
Hip-Hop culture is a feces stain on America, and so are the hand gestures that go along with it. If you don’t hate it, you should.
And obviously, nobody should be kept out Country music for participating in homosex, the problem is when they, or you, or the industry, or anyone makes it about that; which you are doing with this response.
McAnally writes trash for a living. The stuff he writes would be trash, whether he stuck his peepee into a birth canal, or into a digestive tract.
Fuzzy TwoShirts
June 26, 2017 @ 2:02 pm
really don’t care.
don’t listen to the radio.
have bills to pay.
have bigger problems than what new talentless hack becomes famous,
like bills, rides to anthrocon
oh wait I don’t get to go because I can’t get time off from the job I hate because the slackers took up the vacation slots and left me to work with the night manager who is the spawn of satan.
did I mention I have bills due tomorrow?
today I listened to “Stumpjumper” on the way home from work. because I listen to music I enjoy, and honestly who cares about drawing a “line in the sand” about our genre anymore. we drew the line.
scratch that.
I drew the line.
but nobody else gets it.
but let’s all go back to complaining about equality in Country Music instead of focusing our efforts on the structural and sonic integrity of the music.
“Hey it might be pop music but at least it’s equal”
also this song is really relevant to my situation right now.
I’m going through some stuff.
Not saying I like it. I hate it, it’s dumb
But trying to demonstrate happiness to people as if by proving to them you can be happy without them even though you’re not is a very relatable concept.
kinda what I’m going through right now
is it okay to cut out friends of yours who are also friends with someone you’re trying to cut out of your life on the grounds that they talk to the person you’re mad at?
I mean if I liked pop music, and this weren’t on the Country station I might think this was really a cool idea.
maybe poor execution but a cool idea
Also anybody out there in SCM land ever been to Prescott Valley AZ Bluegrass Festival? I really wanted to go last weekend but got stuck at work.
does anybody have any honest opinions about whether it’s a good festival?
Stringbuzz
June 26, 2017 @ 2:59 pm
5 seconds…thats all i could take
marty
June 26, 2017 @ 3:08 pm
what is this new ‘country’ sound where the shlubs make sounds with their mouth and layer it over each other? just have the balls to call it pop and sink or swim on your own. no need to fool the sheep. At least you supplied some ear bleach to counter this white boy beatboxing crap, like sarah scouten. Usually you just let the stink waft.
case in point, check out this video this is the new trend apparently beatboxing ie , sam hunt, walker hayes, and this turd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=74&v=hV-mS_fzoXQ
Raymond
June 26, 2017 @ 3:10 pm
I actually kinda like it. I just find it a catchy little ear worm of a song.
Into the guilty pleasure it goes.
Jim Bob
June 26, 2017 @ 4:48 pm
I hate you. I hope the bad things in the world happen to you and nobody but you. May your progeny fail at life as completely as you have.
Signed-Everyone
Raymond
June 26, 2017 @ 8:41 pm
Are you serious. Just because I expressed my opinion I deserve to have nothing but hate in this world.
Grow up. Is it really so bad for someone to like this song? Isn’t it best for their be different opinions in the comments section?
I don’t wish harm on anyone. I respect those that hate this song. I’m just not one of them.
Honky
June 27, 2017 @ 4:33 am
Yes. It really is so bad. People like you are part of the reason this crap is allowed to exist, and worse, allowed to be called “Country”.
Without possibly even realizing it, you have a hand in the destruction of a culture.
Raymond
June 27, 2017 @ 5:07 am
Overreacting much?
You guys are making it sound like a crime to like this song. Like everyone associated with the song should be killed or tortured.
It’s an opinion. What’s so bad about having different opinions in the comments section
Honky
June 27, 2017 @ 6:23 am
Raymond,
“Killed or tortured”?
And we’re the ones overreacting?
I just think you should be mocked, shunned, ridiculed, shamed, and cyber-bullied.
I loathe you for helping to destroy my culture, but I don’t hate you. That would be unchristian.
Raymond
June 27, 2017 @ 8:12 am
I admit I overreacted their. But you should never wish physical or mental harm to someone.
Mike
June 28, 2017 @ 10:07 am
“Is it really so bad for someone to like this song?”
Ummmm, yes. It is. And you should feel bad for liking it.
Rosalyn
August 22, 2017 @ 7:18 pm
Signed EVERYONE? Don’t you dare speak for me. I, too, like the song. I, too, found myself singing it later on. Everyone has different tastes. And not everyone thinks that tossing out a few cuss words make a great point of anything. I personally wanted to find out more about the song. Googled it, and was somehow directed to this drivel. You can like whatever songs you like and that does not bother me, but why tear down songs that just don’t cut it with you? And why be so mean to the person who happens to like it?
CountryKnight
June 27, 2017 @ 5:21 am
Why am I not surprised that you like this song?
J
June 26, 2017 @ 3:35 pm
Enjoyed this little comment from his twitter page: ‘Even when I wanted to punch music in the face, I wrote more. I wrote like breathing; I didn’t have a choice.’ Extremely disingenuous, of course, but nonetheless the idea of someone labouring away tirelessly to compose this is funny. It’s so underwritten that by around the two minute mark it’s as if the song is going to dissolve for want of additional content. That it took an additional two writers to conceive it puts into mind a row of typewriting monkeys.
Joecephus
June 26, 2017 @ 3:43 pm
Norwegian Black Metal is more country music than this.
This is an embarrassment to pop, hip hop & r&b almost as much as its an embarrassment to country music.
Mike
June 28, 2017 @ 10:10 am
Check out Burzum’s new country single “I Stabbed A Man in Oslo (Just To Watch Him Die)”. It’s a million times more country than this crap of a song!!!
GrantH
June 26, 2017 @ 3:46 pm
Hey Trig, do you plan on writing an article about the new Toby Keith single, “Wacky Tabacky”? I have the feeling like that would be an entertaining read, lmao. Think that song is gonna be able to launch him back into mainstream relevance?
GrantH
June 26, 2017 @ 3:47 pm
*”I have the feeling that” – excuse my incorrect wording there
Gena R.
June 26, 2017 @ 5:29 pm
I take it it’s not an NRBQ cover? :\
Trigger
June 26, 2017 @ 6:28 pm
I might have something on it soon.
JLR
June 27, 2017 @ 5:11 am
That Toby Keith song came up as a suggestion from Vemo while I subjected myself to Hayes’ steaming pile.I’ve liked a few of Keith’s lesser-charting singles in recent years, so I hope it’s not bad as the shite that prompted the suggestion.
sbach66
June 27, 2017 @ 6:09 am
I heard it/saw the video. I wasn’t impressed. To my ears, ridiculously cliched songwriting – every slang/nickname for herb is just strung together. The music is pretty standard Toby Keith stuff.
I’m just not sure what the purpose of the song is. Even cameos by Willie and Mac McAnally (who I suspect is producing his latest album) can’t save it in my mind. Just formulaic, harmless, Toby Keith music, I guess. (And I don’t hate Toby Keith.)
Amanda
June 27, 2017 @ 10:54 am
I’m not a fan of Wacky Tobaccy. It’s not worst song of the year material, but it’s not a good song.
C
June 26, 2017 @ 3:51 pm
Ive heard bad songs before on country radio, but if this song goes to number one or close to it then that is truly it. The bar no longer exists. It has been chucked into the depths of the ocean, and every heartless, gutless person involved in the creation and promotion of this song is equally responsible.
Mike Honcho
June 26, 2017 @ 4:02 pm
Are teenage girls this influential? This shit will rot your brain.
sbach66
June 26, 2017 @ 4:05 pm
Fuck them. Just… fuck them.
Rosalyn
August 22, 2017 @ 7:22 pm
What does that even mean? I’m 64. I like the song. I’m not a teenage girl, and if you say that about me, I hope you think about your own mother as you say it. But then, I have a feeling you’ve said that about your own mother already.
DJ
June 26, 2017 @ 4:20 pm
Sounded like somebody shit in my computer.
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 4:21 pm
What the hell did I just listen to? Holy crap, I swear Nashville is quite desperate these days. They’ll sign anything. That was fucking awful.
For the record, Walker Hayes’s first song, Pants, was actually pretty funny, for what it is.
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 4:29 pm
I can honestly say that Shane McAnally is the most polarizing figure in Nashville nowadays. He is responsible for some great music: Two Weeks Late (my all-time absolute favorite song), Follow Your Arrow, Neon, and Drinkin’ Problem come to mind, to name a few. Then, he is also responsible for the atrocities of this pile of dog shit, Sam Hunt, Thomas Rhett, and Break Up With Him.
Gena R.
June 26, 2017 @ 5:34 pm
I get the feeling ol’ Shane is only as good as the people he works with, so to speak. :\
albert
June 27, 2017 @ 8:58 am
nailed it Gena
Kevin Smith
June 26, 2017 @ 4:32 pm
So…a really lame Sugar Ray impersonator hack recorded on a Mac book is COUNTRY Music??!!!!?? Deliver me from evil! Abomination to music period. There aren’t enough adjectives…
the pistolero
June 26, 2017 @ 4:38 pm
A negative rating? Huh. I gotta hear this.
…holy fuckbuckets, that is bad. Not much of anything I can say in addition to what you said Trig, but I will say I do beg to differ on one point:
But I don’t even blame Walker Hayes for this.
Oh, I’ll blame him. Every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Nobody put a gun to his head and made him do this. Sure, he’s a tool of the record label, but he made himself that. Aaron Watson has a wife and kids too, and we can rest assured that he would like to provide for them just like Walker Hayes wants to provide for his family, but you don’t see AW lowering himself to this.
As an aside, I first saw Walker Hayes’ name on Farce the Music, and hand to God, I thought he was a Trailer parody, for the name all by itself…
the pistolero
June 26, 2017 @ 4:42 pm
Also, 37 years old? WHAT THE FUCK? Merle Haggard was barely into his 30s when he recorded Mama Tried!
Amanda
June 26, 2017 @ 5:00 pm
Exactly. There’s no excuse to be recording this kind of shit at 37. You would think he would be more mature and want to sing more mature material.
-Ashley Monroe was 26 when she released “Like a Rose”.
-Kacey Musgraves was 24 when she released “Merry Go Round”.
-William Michael Morgan was 22/23(?) when he released both “Lonesomeville” and “I Know Who He Is”.
-Walker Hayes is 37 years old and still singing what sounds like a kids’ song. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Grow the hell up, Walker.
The point of listing these facts is that there are younger mainstream country singers releasing fairly mature music. And then there are some artists (Luke Bryan, Walker Hayes, FGL, to name a few.) who are still singing kiddy music.
The next Luke Bryan, maybe? God, I hope not. Mainstream country has got one man-child too many.
the pistolero
June 26, 2017 @ 5:28 pm
37.
And wile we’re at it, Tanya Tucker was less than half that age when she recorded “San Antonio Stroll” and “Lizzie and the Rainman.”
John
June 26, 2017 @ 6:08 pm
Yep. Tanya Tucker took a murder ballad to #1 before her fifteenth birthday; Hayes is 37 and recording songs that many 20-year-olds would turn down.
CountryKnight
June 26, 2017 @ 5:42 pm
I will be shocked if this song is a hit.
sbach66
June 26, 2017 @ 5:50 pm
Regrettably, I would not.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 6:59 am
Have you heard Body Like a Backroad?
CountryKnight
June 27, 2017 @ 7:06 am
Have you heard of a good comparison?
“Body Like a Backyard” is sung by a #1 charting artist. This song is the property of a never were.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 8:34 am
I’m just messing with ya, CountryKnight. That being said, “#1 charting artist” kind of loses it’s cred when a song(Body Like a Backroad), that literally makes no sense at all, still makes it to number one. I’m not saying “You broke Up With Me” will be a hit, but recent history suggests that it most certainly can be.
CountryKnight
June 27, 2017 @ 8:41 am
My apologies for being sharp with you. It has been a bad summer for me.
Agreed. #1 songs used to mean something.
I still think that song will go the way of Steven Tyler and that Brice/Nieman collaboration.
Trigger
June 27, 2017 @ 9:54 am
I would put serious, serious money behind this going #1 if Vegas had a vehicle to bet on it. It has to. That’s the whole point of it.
CountryKnight
June 27, 2017 @ 9:56 am
You know best, Trigger.
But we will see.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 1:43 pm
@Trigger Honestly, I’m bracing for that impact because from what I’ve seen there’s just such a small chance this doesn’t become a hit.
Jim Bob
June 26, 2017 @ 5:50 pm
Wow!! Texted my early 20s little sister this song because she LOVES Sam Hunt and all that stupid pop “country” (which is weird cause also loves Sturgill, Isbell, Turnpike, etc when I send her that stuff, but whatever) and even she hates it!! She only lasted 20 seconds and it actually made her mad. Like, really, really mad. She thought it had to be a joke song.
When your exact target demographic gets legitimately mad listening to your shit, good fucking luck, douche bag…
Justin
June 28, 2017 @ 8:47 pm
If she loves Sturgill, Isbell, and Turnpike, she’s definitely not mainstream country radio’s target demographic. I’m not surprised she didn’t like this.
Number 8
June 26, 2017 @ 6:01 pm
So Colter Wall puts Immaginary Appalachia out in his teens and this guys doin this shit pushing 40. Interesting
Gabe
June 26, 2017 @ 6:03 pm
I’d break up with him too if I had the chance
Honky
June 26, 2017 @ 6:12 pm
I’m not clicking the play button on this one, but look at that jawline. This guy will be a star for sure.
A
June 27, 2017 @ 12:05 pm
Haha! Exactly.
Angus McNeal
June 26, 2017 @ 6:35 pm
another day another ‘worst country song’… jesus, pick one and move on. They’ll keep coming and you, we, can’t do a damn thing about it. Just stick to keeping this place up to date on the latest, bestest stuff coming out. I try to listen to Trig’s suggestions on the good stuff and would rarely , if ever, hear any of this garbage…My suggestion is to quit giving the Nashville beast credibility and a link to its nonsense.
CountryKnight
June 27, 2017 @ 5:25 am
At least, it is less pretentious than Steve Earle!
Bill Weiler
June 27, 2017 @ 8:10 am
Why even have posts debating the merits of this kind of garbage? There is a lot of great country, bluegrass, americana, alt.country, and all other types of roots music out there if people can be pointed in the direction to find it. People that listen to a dead forum like mainstream radio will never find the good stuff. Help them find it. If they still want mainstream radio and shop their music at Walmart, move on. Help the folks that are more discriminating consumers of music locate the abundance of great music out there that most people have never heard of. Sometimes all it takes is one discovery to change the direction of musical taste for a person. I’m 64 and as a pre-teen and teen my musical taste was defined by rock and roll. When I was 15, I found in a cutout bin (anyone remember those?) a LP by The bluesman Freddy King. This one purchase opened me up to another world of music. One that wasn’t being force fed to me by marketers. I found my love of North American roots music in it’s many roots and branches, including country music. I am at home with Bloodshot and New West as I am with Delmark and Arhoolie. Sometimes all it takes is that one discovery.
Bertox
June 27, 2017 @ 8:21 am
“The Texas Cannonball” Freddie King, hell yeah Bill! I love the stinkface he would make when playing certain notes on his guitar
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 8:27 am
Best stink face ever.
Bill Weiler
June 27, 2017 @ 8:34 am
He was definitely one Funky Armadillo.
Trigger
June 27, 2017 @ 10:05 am
I’ve said it dozens and dozens of times and I’ll say it again. Nothing, NOTHING helps spread attention to quality music than criticizing the mainstream. People hear songs like this, they watch the mainstream award shows, then they take to Google to figure out what the hell has happened to country music and they end up here where healthy alternatives are presented to them. Without the criticism, they would never be exposed to the healthy alternatives. Saving Country Music was built from the back end forward to reach out to disgruntled consumers and connect them with better music. Criticizing bad music is imperative to this exercise, and also an important part of the creative marketplace dating all the way back to ancient civilizations. Without articles like this, Saving Country Music doesn’t exist. The focus must always remain more positive, but without the negative, the work is virtually fruitless.
Justin
June 28, 2017 @ 8:53 pm
These “worst songs” type of posts by Trigger are actually my favorite stuff on here. 🙂
Nate
June 26, 2017 @ 6:46 pm
God, that lame attempt at whistling is like nails on a chalkboard.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 4:05 pm
I can’t confirm it but I’m pretty sure that’s Herbert from Family Guy.
Holly
June 26, 2017 @ 7:21 pm
The way he throws his hands out and “to the roof” like he’s a rap star is ridiculous. I have no idea why he is being promoted.
55Merq
June 26, 2017 @ 7:31 pm
I disagree…this is not the worst “country song” of all times…its the worst SONG of all times. He could add a steel guitar & a Jack Daniels ball cap and it would still be s shitty song!
Jon
June 26, 2017 @ 11:08 pm
How would a Jack Daniels hat make anything better?
Jerry
June 26, 2017 @ 7:40 pm
Sounds great, I like it……also to the idiot complaining about Todd Oneill go jump in a lake and Trigger go play in traffic
marc
June 26, 2017 @ 7:42 pm
Sadly, this makes me miss Rebecca Black’s Friday.
Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Gena R.
June 27, 2017 @ 12:44 pm
Fun fun fun fun…
Amanda
August 6, 2017 @ 4:42 pm
Looking forward to the weekend!!!!!!!
Anthony
June 26, 2017 @ 7:43 pm
To be fair, I think its a bit a of a stretch to compare this guy or Chris Lane to Sam Hunt, despite the fact that their music’s relation to Country is probably on the same level.
Mike Honcho
June 26, 2017 @ 8:27 pm
Don’t you have a Pride Parade to be marching in?
chuck
June 26, 2017 @ 8:41 pm
But Bobby Bones and his crew think this is a great country song! I think they even have mixed it in to the most awesome event of country music radio for all time – THE FRIDAY DANCE PARTY! Give it up for the New Evolving Country. I love the new stuff and plan my trips to Wal Mart for the afternoon so I don’t miss out on hearing this crew guide this evolving music! It is soooooo awesome!
Justin C
June 26, 2017 @ 8:53 pm
The worst song is Chris youngs new one that rips off Justin bieber tune. Sadly, I think Chris young has some damn good tunes. Sober Saturday night is awesome.
chuck
June 26, 2017 @ 9:12 pm
Chris Young based on his songs so far is a major poosy. And his drummer has a lead foot on the bass like a high school marching band.
Mets08123
June 26, 2017 @ 9:58 pm
Also love the people who complain about people who say “this isn’t country,” but the thing is, it is necessary to say so. Same people who says if you don’t like it, don’t listen to it. Same ones who say “country music is evolving, deal with it.” Thing is you need to have these arguements non stop because songs like this are destroying the genre. There needs to be a line to be drawn and Nashville needs to stop putting out this garbage. Any has been or pop failure just throws their crappy songs into Country and it’s accepted for some odd reason. I will never understand this at all. Meanwhile all the other artists get shafted and overlooked because of people like Walker Hayes. I still don’t think this song will make much of an impact on radio. I just hope this simmers down and Hayes can just go back to whatever he did before this. I wonder what the genre will be like in five years from now, I sure hope this isn’t the direction it’s headed in the mainstream.
ActivePuck
June 26, 2017 @ 10:08 pm
Made it exactly 32 seconds but that includes the opening without the, ahem, music.
Can’t wait to hear this a thousand times on our local crappy pop country station! /s
RGW
June 27, 2017 @ 12:14 am
I’m just glad I live in Texas…I have better music than this to listen to.
sbach66
June 27, 2017 @ 6:27 am
Not according to Ft Worth Weekly. Didn’t you hear? Jerry Jeff killed Texas music…
Summer Jam
June 27, 2017 @ 2:35 am
I like most of the pop country stuff on the radio these days but my mouth dropped within seconds of listening to this piece of shit song and i made it about a minute. This is NOT COUNTRY. it is not even pop country, or even the hardcore pop-leaning Sam Hunt style pop country music. There is not one song ever or one artist ever to have released a song to country radio that is this un-country. Untalented pieces of shit with ZERO country influence like this make Sam Hunts music sound pretty country. Anyone who attempts to rip off Sam Hunt is going to fail miserably, only Sam can pull off what he does and nobody else is gonna be able to copy him because hes a weird blend of R&B, country, and pop. Seriously FUCK this guy, hes ugly AF, has a voice as bad as Brett Young, and is not country in the slightest. its s solid MINUS 5 stars from me.
Honky
June 27, 2017 @ 6:33 am
Come on, you know he’s not ugly. His “music” is horrible, but his looks are a huge part of why he’s marketable.
Summer Jam
June 27, 2017 @ 11:09 am
You think this dude is hot? He looks like a squirrel thats overloaded its face with acorns. I rarely judge people on looks but i think this dude is ugly and a terrible marketing idea..
Honky
June 27, 2017 @ 2:14 pm
I’m a dude, so no, I don’t think he’s “hot”. But he’s got that Brad Pitt jaw-line. He’s obviously modely looking.
Amanda
June 27, 2017 @ 9:12 am
He is kinda ugly. It kinda sucks that someone like William Michael Morgan, who is super-hot, has a great voice, and makes great country music, struggles on radio but people like Walker Hayes and Sam Hunt and Brett Young and the like rack up attention and hits left and right.
RD
June 27, 2017 @ 5:39 am
A song like this will make Jason Aldean’s garbage “classic” country in 15 years. You’ll (because I sure as hell won’t) look back and say “It really wasn’t bad. Hell, it was pretty good.” The way the soda companies slowly transitioned you from sugar to corn syrup, you’ve been transitioned from decent music to rat-fucked garbage. You hardly noticed as everything that entered your ears turned to pure shit. Then, one day, you’ll hear a Blake Shelton song from 2003 and think “damn, that sounds good.”
Honky
June 27, 2017 @ 6:31 am
That’s right. Preach it.
They keep moving the Overton window of what is called country. Just like the price of gasoline. They’ve programmed everybody into thinking $2.00 per gallon gas is really cheap.
The last nail in Country music’s coffin was driven in the late 90’s. People like this guy are simply stopping by to piss on Country Music’s grave.
Don
June 27, 2017 @ 6:52 am
Not even shocked by this sh** anymore. Anyone who listens to this should be embarrassed.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 7:08 am
Listening to a 37 year old sing to 14 and 15 year old girls is like being caught with kiddy porn on your computer. Embarrassing is an understatement.
Bill Weiler
June 27, 2017 @ 7:38 am
Waylon posed the question, “Are you sure Hank done it this way”. Why no. No he didn’t.
Jim
June 27, 2017 @ 7:55 am
When I just hear the audio it’s pretty bad, but it’s still not as bad as Sam Hunt.
Then I watch the video and watch this asshat dancing around in front of wood paneling and it makes me agree with everything you say in this article.
albert
June 27, 2017 @ 8:42 am
”It is an extremely important moment in country music, where either a line in the sand is drawn, preserving the natural order and boundaries of what country music is, preserving the jobs of hundreds of world-class musicians who rely on the industry to pay their bills and raise their families. Or do we allow Shane McAnally, and some washed-up fuckstick with a laptop to take over the entire industry and remake it in a way that whitewashes country music’s vibrant and vital culture that gives identity to millions of people?”
didn’t listen ….life’s too short and I’ve grown to trust your takesTrigger .
BTW for anyone still watching regular cable TV ( I need it for the hockey games ), this kind of mentality , in terms of immature entertainment fodder is everywhere .
We can only be grateful that this kind of crap wasn’t the template for COUNTRY music ( not that it would have been ) way back when or we’d never have seen Hank , the Haggards, the Partons, Kristoffersons, the Webbs ,Loretta , the Willie Nelsons , the Don Schlitzes , the Overstreets , the McDills , the Dean Dillons , or the countless other amazingly gifted and hard-working writers who showed us how its REALLY done when you TRY ! They set a bar which might never have existed had these shit artists been shoved down our throats a few decades back .
BenBen
June 27, 2017 @ 10:29 am
I think he’s in “Fight or Flight” mode right now. The music is shit, by he’s a very nice individual with excellent work ethic. Anyone in that position would do ANYTHING to take care of their kids. I blame the industry for this crap being pawned off as country, but I honestly think Walker is just shamelessly doing whatever he has to in order to provide. He ain’t got much time and he’s cashing in while he can. I don’t think anyone should buy into this crap song or anything that resembles it. But, we should also put ourselves in that position and realize that it’s possible this guy is just doing what he can (while he can) for his family. Bad songs are like a sin in our community. But using that viewpoint, I think we should try and empthathize a bit more with the sinner sometimes.
Great article as always Trig, thank y’all.
MH
June 27, 2017 @ 11:23 am
“…but he’s a very nice individual..”
Don’t care.
“Anyone in that position would do ANYTHING to take care of their kids.”
Like get a real job?
Or better yet, get a vasectomy after the 2nd child.
BenBen
June 27, 2017 @ 3:28 pm
All I was saying is that I don’t think it makes someone a bad person because they make bad music. I haven’t lived here very long, and I’ve already seen some people chewed up and tossed away like garbage. Before I came here I was just angry. Now it seems to be a balance between angry and sad. I feel bad for these people sometimes. Because, I think that the industry indoctrinates ignorant, half assed “artists” into their game and then crushes their souls a few years after with debt and failure.
I’m not affiliated with anyone in that camp and I’ve made it point not to be. I guess the hateful shit Ian just getting old and I wanted to show a little compassion.
All that being said MH, I’ll have to give it to you. You’re right in what you say. Reckon I was just trying to be nice.
Anthony
June 27, 2017 @ 10:41 am
We should all be more focused on the Rebirth of Chase Rice and his triumphant return! :-O How he got signed is nothing short of miraculous to me.
Amanda
June 27, 2017 @ 10:53 am
Time will tell if Rice practices what he preaches.
Summer Jam
June 28, 2017 @ 12:39 am
Rice said he is done with bro country and is ashamed of it. Said his next album will be country. So we will see. He still sucks.
Mike
June 29, 2017 @ 12:38 pm
I don’t trust Chase Rice any further than I can throw him. Once a fratbro always a fratbro.
Summer Jam
June 29, 2017 @ 5:38 pm
The problem with Chase Rice is that he has a terrible vocal range and is no better than Thomas Rhett at singing. I dont see his voice fitting in with actual country music, like FGL he started off with bro country rock and i think his voice and persona fits only with the rock sound and bro country lyrics.
Razor X
June 27, 2017 @ 10:52 am
I suppose this is what happens once the fans who care about the genre abandon mainstream radio and get their music fixes elsewhere. Instead of trying to win us back, the powers that be are trying to replace us with newer, less discerning listeners. As a result, there’s no one left to object to this kind of crap anymore.
albert
June 27, 2017 @ 4:44 pm
This is exactly IT , Razor. They’ve successfully targeted the mindless market demographic they can make money off ……with NO QUESTIONS ASKED . And the labels aren’t the only ones who’ve located and exploited that market , as I mentioned above . Much network TV ( and much cable , I ‘m sure ) finds the same herd , rounds it up for branding and milks it for all its worth .
( ”and the debtor’s prisons …..and the work-houses …are there no work-houses” ? )
MH
June 27, 2017 @ 11:36 am
A little homework on the songwriters:
Thomas Marc Archer – one more embarrassment to the state of Georgia
Kylie Sackley – female Aussie import that went from co-writing to Gary Burr and having a hit with LeAnn Rimes for “Nothin’ ‘Bout Love Makes Sense” to co-writing with…..wait for it…..Sam Hunt. If you can’t beat them, join them, I guess.
Damian
June 27, 2017 @ 11:56 am
Lowest review I’ve ever seen! I see the traditional 1-10 scale has failed to adequately quantify the sheer and utter repulsiveness of this…sound? Can’t bring myself to refer to it as a song.
A
June 27, 2017 @ 12:12 pm
Jeez.
TRG
June 27, 2017 @ 2:00 pm
This is bad. SO bad. But why does Walker Hayes get the pass? (“But I don’t even blame Walker Hayes for this. He’s just trying to put food on the table for his family…”) He wrote it. He ‘sang’ it. How is that Shane McAnally’s fault? Shane is the same guy that cowrote ‘Follow Your Arrow,” “Merry Go Round” and more with Kacey Musgraves and 3 songs on Brandy Clark’s latest, two of the “actual country music artists” you JUST wrote about. As a producer, he’s working with what he’s given and gives the labels what they want. And, he is also just trying to put food on the table for HIS family as well, btw.
marc
June 27, 2017 @ 2:54 pm
First college football, than the NFL, than an ESPN announcer, than MLB minor league ballplayer and now a “country music” artist! Is there anything Tim Tebow can’t do.
Gerald
June 27, 2017 @ 3:51 pm
You know how some of the awful “country” songs slightly redeem themselves as a pop song that’s halfway decent? This song doesn’t even come CLOSE. It’s a pile of crap no matter what genre you label it as. The opening sounds like a theme song for a lame ass kids show and this “genre” (?) makes bro country sound amazing LOL. I’ll take FGL over this any day.
Btw. You need to review Mitchell Tenpenny’s new work. He has a song called “B*tches”. Might be as bad as this song. Great voice wasted on terrible songs that would only be good on a Wheeler Walker Jr album.
albert
June 28, 2017 @ 8:33 am
”It’s a pile of crap no matter what genre you label it as. The opening sounds like a theme song for a lame ass kids show…..” EXACTLY , Gerald ….kid’s music that kids’ shouldn’t even be exposed to ….such shit
CountryKicksAss
June 27, 2017 @ 5:18 pm
I am a fan of singer /songwriters. I have seen Walker Hayes live and he is very talented. He has been in Nashville since ’05, nice to hear him getting some recognition. This just happens to be a carefree, light song. It fits for Summer music listening fun.
albert
June 28, 2017 @ 8:31 am
”……It fits for Summer music listening fun. ” ……on a pop , adult contemporary , rap, hip hop radio playlist
…BUT THE F%$#@* THING ISN’T COUNTRY MUSIC
Mike
June 28, 2017 @ 11:57 am
If he is so talented, then why did he write this piece of shit of a song?? Worse off, why is he doing it when he is THIRTY FREAKING SEVEN YEARS OLD????
Lastly, why must music suck so bad in the summer??? Is there a law that stated that to enjoyed in the summer, music has to be totally idiotic???
CountryKicksAss
June 28, 2017 @ 2:38 pm
What is wrong with doing something you like and having success at the age of thirty seven? Some people never succeed and have been trying in Nashville for a long time. Have you all not listened to the Bellamy Bros, Mickey Gilley, Conway Twitty, Buck Owens etc….when they had fun songs. (Waylon, Willie too…. That is what music can be….. sometimes just for Fun.
Mike
June 28, 2017 @ 6:10 pm
One major flaw in your reasoning. Of the other artists you mentioned that released “fun” songs, they weren’t not utter crap like this shit gem from Walker Hayes.
And yes! When you’re pushing forty, it is way past the time to be “singing” songs that pander to, and make you look like you’re still a part of, the Axe body spray- drenched, Affliction shirt wearing, SEC frat boy wannabe crowd!!!
CountryKicksAss
June 29, 2017 @ 3:29 pm
Your comments seem harsh, by one song you are labeling Walker. He is nothing like the way you describe. Songwriting is an art that does not have to fall into ‘age ‘ categories. It is an organic, collaborative process. Inspiration can come from anywhere. Music and art both have more freedom creatively. There are many break up songs in country that were crafted at different times. This song caught on right at this time, found it`s audience.
Jim Bob Junior
June 27, 2017 @ 5:19 pm
Irrelevant, no?
Dale Monroe
June 27, 2017 @ 9:51 pm
While this song is quite atrocious, I personally think his other song “Where My Shades At” is leagues worse.
The faint of heart need not venture here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JmsxMLCgqM
Mike
July 3, 2017 @ 12:35 pm
Holy wrath of Satan!!!! That was horrible!!! I made it through 16 seconds and I had to turn it off!!! Someone please make this stop!!!!
Bob
June 28, 2017 @ 2:14 am
remember Rebecca Black and her Friday song?
yep, that was better than this rubbish.
Mike
July 10, 2017 @ 7:41 am
At least Rebecca Black can be forgiven. She was only 12 when she made that song and admits she didn’t know any better. Walker Hayes is 37 and has no such excuse.
Will P
June 28, 2017 @ 12:06 pm
Public service message. If you watch this garbage when you’re signed into YouTube, remember to go back and delete it from your history unless you want to get similar “songs” to pop up on your suggestions. Totally agree with Dale Monroe that the “Shades” song is even worse.
Justin
June 28, 2017 @ 6:54 pm
Thoughts on Mitchell Tenpenny’s “Alcohol You Later?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozSr_3Bi3Ao
Bear
June 28, 2017 @ 10:04 pm
Well it is no Bob’s Burger pun that is for sure. I am afraid of that link. I fear it must contain viruses.
Justin
June 28, 2017 @ 9:23 pm
The only thing worse is if his song “Where My Shades At” is the follow-up single:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JmsxMLCgqM
I could see that one going to #1 on country radio too, and doing even *more* cultural damage.
Bear
June 28, 2017 @ 10:03 pm
Lord in heaven Trigger, I thought you found the worst song like three worst songs ago! But here we are….
Bear
June 28, 2017 @ 10:07 pm
Also why do you subject yourself to these song when you must know they will be awful? I can only imagine it gives you a chance to vent the anger that has built up over a few weeks at the general state of country music. Somebody lets out a bad song and you get to let off steam.
I love these reviews but lord holy hell… I last 4 seconds with these songs…
albert
June 29, 2017 @ 12:42 am
I confess …I caved . I couldn’t believe what I was reading here about this train wreck of a video .For anyone who isn’t a player or doesn’t have a recording set-up at home , I have to just say that you have NO IDEA how easy it is to crank out crap like this with a laptop and some cheap and readily available ‘band in a box’ software . You could literally let a monkey flail away and eventually he’d hit the right button and trigger chord/groove loops . . Lyrics ? Lyrics ? what lyrics ..? It’s just nursery rhyming …remember when we all did that in kindergarten ?
Shit …..I cannot believe how the masses have been duped by this nonsense to the point where they happily pay money to download/stream it, support the advertisers who sponsor it and hand over hard-earned dollars to see these hacks in concert mimicking other genres from clothing apparel to ridiculously unnecessary hand gesturing .
It is incredibly disheartening to REAL singers , real musicians and REAL song writers to see this happening …..Its a complete capitulation to corporate -driven ‘ entertainment ‘ , bereft of ANY semblance of serious artistic vision or input , respect for traditions or redeeming cultural value . It is pure , insignificant mind-numbingly useless fluff …..the likes of which continue to relentlessly undermine our musical standards and artistic sensibilities . Shame on us as a society for allowing this downward spiritual spiral to continue . Shame on this guy and his handlers for contributing to the demise of REAL artistry in mainstream ‘country ‘ music with pap manufactured for the vulnerable , the impressionable and those without the authority or ability to determine for themselves WHAT they let into their lives and their minds .
NPC
June 29, 2017 @ 8:43 am
This guy makes Kane Brown look like Willie Nelson… there is not a country bone in this song’s body. Do we really have to wonder why country music and the radio industry is in a tailspin? When iHeart and Cumulus collapse and all of the fat cat executives eject with their golden parachutes, I hope the unemployed programming directors will feel great for sacrificing the genre and their livelihoods to give Walker Hayes et al. some spins and a few million dollars.
Mike
July 5, 2017 @ 2:38 pm
UPDATE: Walker Hayes has upped the ante even further by releasing a song called “Your Girlfriend Does.” It is a straight middle finger to people like us. Either this guy is trying to pull an inside joke, or he truly has no shame or dignity anywhere in his body!!!
Angela
July 6, 2017 @ 7:53 pm
“Ain’t nobody making you watch me get my forget you on.”
*Blinks*
*Brain breaks at the sheer clumsiness of that sentence*
Your response to that bizarre sentence and the “Axe body spray” line especially cracked me up, but the entire review was an entertaining read. I haven’t heard this song, and this review didn’t exactly entice me to do so. So I will spare my ears.
M
July 14, 2017 @ 1:23 pm
Could y’all be a little less rude regardless of your opinion on the song? Sheesh.
Mike
July 16, 2017 @ 8:56 pm
If people like this guy would stop releasing shitty music, we wouldn’t have to be so “rude.” But they will just never learn!
HawgWyld
July 17, 2017 @ 6:54 pm
This is an outrage! Why, Walker Hayes is downright brilliant, what with fine lyrics such as:
“It is what it is, girl.
You did what you did, girl.”
Pure genius!
Country music could, after all, use some more urban, white boy slang! Certainly, there’s room for that, isn’t there? And drum machines! And songs created primarily with laptops! And white boys trying to clumsily rap while trying to maintain their fake Southern accents!
Seriously, though, my wife and daughter have the bad habit of listening to “The Highway” on Sirius/XM and I just wanted to see if other people hate this song as much as I do. I’m no serious fan of country music, but could always respect the better artists of the genre. Crud like this just makes me angry.
Gerald
July 26, 2017 @ 11:54 am
Just to show how rigged radio is: this monstrosity has already leap frogged Brantley Gilbert, Granger Smith, Kelsea Ballerini, Scotty McCreery, and Lee Brice, all very established mainstream artists, on the airplay charts. This is even more bullshit now than it was a month ago. I hope this song peaks at number one next week then plummets off the charts. It seems inevitable, so why not get rid of it as quick as possible? Give this no name douche his money already and vow to never play one of his songs on the radio ever again?
Fruitnoutncf
August 6, 2017 @ 3:12 pm
I like it. I thinks it’s funny and is one of those songs you use to move past a break up and strive to make them regret it.
Anna
August 11, 2017 @ 7:31 am
Late to this since I just now heard this song from a blogger recommendation (ugh). I hate the music video, really dislike the song as a country song and don’t think Walker Hayes sings well at all (there’s hardly even what I’d call singing in this song but it’s not good). That said, I think I might actually like, or at least not dislike this song, if it was not trying to be country. It’d make a decent pop or R&B song and redone in that style, hopefully by another singer, it’d probably be enjoyable. Though, even then it’d be much better if it could get rid of “girl” in the lyrics because all the bro-country douches putting “girl” in every song has ruined that for me.
Tina Jordan
August 17, 2017 @ 11:25 am
Your opinion of the song itself is fine but do you really have to attack someone so hatefully? I’m not as worried about the future of country music as much as I am about the future of humankind with rude, hateful people out there like you. I don’t want to even imagine what kinds of things you say when you are mad about something that actually matters. You need some kind of outlet for your anger. Go to therapy or something. Don’t take it out on some guy you don’t know just because you don’t like his song. Are you 12? Grow up.
Deena
August 25, 2017 @ 11:22 am
WOW.. I agree with Tina Jordan… Don’t really understand the hateful comments… you haters have way too much free time (first time I have ever commented on any forum) Just repulsed by all of you haters. Everyone has their right to their own opinion… I like the song, like the artist, don’t really care if it is country or not. I hate to think about how you move through everyday with such negative outpouring
Montanacameltoe
August 31, 2017 @ 6:22 pm
This song has to be one of the most offensive songs I have ever heard. As someone who appreciates country music and everything it’s brought over the decades words can’t describe how upset I got when I heard this piece of shit city fucking queer on our country radio stations up in Montana. The country way of life is how we live up here. Walker you are absolutely a god damn disgrace and a fool to country music . Your not a country artist . Your not even fucking close. playing an acoustic guitar shouldn’t give you any right to be considered a country artist or play on country stations. The fact they put you in the same category as country is a god damn joke. Your basically taking a piss on some of the greats that made country. They are rolling in their graves thinking this is where their hard work got them. I’ve never punched the radio dial to skip a song so hard as I did for this trash. And the sad thing is I nearly broke my hand doing it . I will continue to punch my radio dial when this song comes on. The fact I have to listen to this shit because it’s now in the top 30 for country is sad. It’s fucking sad people !!!! Top 30 ? What in the fuck is gonna happen to country ? I can’t wait till this shit phases out and hopefully they phase you the fuck out also walker you fuckin ass hole . People need come to there senses and put you on a pop station with James blunt and Jason mraz cuz that’s where you belong you fucking bitch. The whistling and clapping is enough to make people who think country music is already dead that this infact was the last and final nail in the coffin . Walker please take your acoustic guitar and all your clapping and whistling happy bourbon and coke drinking posing country ass and go back to the music label you got signed on and tell them a lot of people are seriously seriously seriously offended . Walker you are trash and I hope your not sitting in a studio somewhere right now whistling and clapping and making terrible offensive music thinking your gonna take over country music charts and be that next guy. Country doesn’t need another ass hole like you wrecking it for people who still love everything that country music was.
Montanacameltoe
August 31, 2017 @ 6:26 pm
If the CIA ever needed a new way to interrogate and torture terroists this would be in fact the deadliest weapon to make people talk. Put a person in a dark room and play this shit 4 times and I think 98 percent would immediately crack . Walker you are trash .
Montanacameltoe
August 31, 2017 @ 6:30 pm
It’s sad all you got to do to be considered country is ply an acoustic guitar and mention coke in your bourbon. Walker go fuck yourself . I would gladly take out a loan for a hundred thousand dollars to watch George strait tie you up and repeatedly bitch slap the shit out of you . You are offensive garbage and trash walker fuck you
Montanacameltoe
August 31, 2017 @ 6:41 pm
walker don’t ever come up to do a concert in Montana or any of its surrounding states. Your ass will be chased back to the god damn la city life so fast your fucking head will spin . If I personally could get ahold of any of your ways of making music I would gladly snap your guitar over my knee. Go fucking sing on the pop radio stations and stop trying to be something your not . I am surprised more people haven’t told you to go fuck your self . Walker go fuck yourself