Oh, Pop Country’s Walker Hayes Needs Help Naming His Upcoming Tour?

WARNING: LANGUAGE

Bad pop star Walker Hayes recently infiltrated the mainstream country ranks after unleashing the terrible hit “You Broke Up With Me,” which Saving Country Music unilaterally declared the Worst “Country” Song Ever. Now this hack is going out on tour, and since he has no original thoughts of his own, Walker and his PR team have chosen to put the task of naming the upcoming tour in the hands of the unwashed masses.

Whomever composes the winning tour name will get the opportunity to get into any and all stops on the upcoming Walker Hayes tour, just in case you and your buddies are looking for a bad bet payoff. Not that Saving Country Music is looking for free Walker Hayes tickets, but here’s some suggestions:

 










 



For the visually impaired:

  • The “This Is Not Country” Tour
  • The “Don’t Bother” Tour
  • The “Even Sam Hunt Thinks This Shit Sucks” Tour
  • The “I’m 38 and Have Six Children, and Sing Songs About Hooking Up with 18-Year-Olds in Clubs” Tour
  • The “I Call My Vacuous Frap ‘Country’ Because They’d Laugh Me Out of Pop” Tour
  • The “
  • Waylon Would Kick My Ass” Tour
  • The “I Made a Shitty Pop Record with a Laptop in My Fucking Garage” Tour
  • The “I’m a Creep Ass For Lusting Over a Girl Being ’17 Years New’ in the Song ‘Mind Candy'” Tour
  • The “My Last Single ‘Craig’ Stalled at #59 on the Charts, So Please Come Out and Support My Lagging Ass” Tour
  • The “My Producer Shane McAnally Is The Country Music Antichrist” Tour
  • The “Why Am I Wearing a Ladies Fern Blouse?” Tour
  • The “My Music Is Total Dog Shit, But I Smell Terrific!” Tour