WARNING: Some Language
You know, I would normally be so diametrically opposed to any rapper announcing his intent to make a country record that I would puff my chest out in defiance, shake my little fists, and give other indications of a stony countenance to let them know that I’ll be damned if they waltz through the gates of country music without at least a strong dose of hostile friction from my disgruntled ass.
But hey, this guy’s got a goddamn Garth Brook T-shirt on, so he must be okay, right? I mean it’s Garth Brooks for crying out loud. “Friends In Low Places” and shit. So this dude clearly must be a massive country music fan. He must eat and shit country music and have a knowledge of the genre so vast, I’d be a boob for opposing his inclusion in the format. So let’s roll out the red carpet and get the welcome wagon up and running. Let’s book him for a duet with Sam Hunt on the CMA Awards, and sign up the girls in CMT’s Next Women of Country program to strip down to their skives and twerk in his stupid ass videos. You own a Garth Brooks T-shirt Mr. Riff Raff? Well then come on in buddy because you are clearly super freaking awesome and a country music lifer.
After all, he’s from Houston, which should give him carte blanche in country music even if he was reppin’ Jay-Z on his tee. Houston born? Well then the defense rests. Clearly he deserves country music superstardom and anyone who opposes him is a bucktooth, closed-minded fool. Country music needs to evolve, assholes.
Riff Raff, who also goes by Jodi Highroller and has a penchant for typing in all caps except for the letter ‘i’, showed his brilliant acumen for country music on Tuesday by taking to his stupid Instagram account to solicit for help on a country record he wants to make called Truck Stuff & Butterscotch Butts. He’s got the title and the look down, which is basically all you need in hip-hop (and country these days), but admits to having nothing else provisioned for his foray into country.
It’s fair to point out that “Riff Raff” is prone to bullshit and sensationalism. But is anyone second guessing his intention here? It’s basically a right of passage for anyone that happens to be in the public spotlight in any capacity to make a country music record these days. Miss America Betty Cantrell? Sure. A 68-year-old Steven Tyler? Why the hell not. You can even admit at the start that you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, you don’t know any country players, you have no intention to write your own material, or even know what you want to sing about. But hey it’s cool because did you see my Garth Brooks T-Shirt?
I hate the world.