Yet Another Pop Country Pretty Boy Ball-less Wonder

So since I am a ‘friend’ of Curb Records, I get a the occasional friend request from some pop country fucktard who seems to gloss over the fact that what I’m doing here boils down to a ‘fuck pop country campaign.’ For example, look at this fairy tale fucker who just sent me a friend request:


His name is Craig Reynolds and he likes kittens, long walks on the beach, little boys, and apparently, showing off his nipples.


That horse behind him is thinking,”God I’d love to take a dump on that guy’s face.”

Oh, and there’s more glamor shots here .

Now since I’m a dude, like most dudes I’m not able to tell if another guy is ‘hot’ or not. But something tells me if you took a poll of the hellbetties and asked them if they’d rather tangle with Hank III, Mike Reynolds, or a case of diarrhea, ol’ Mike would be dragging home the bronze medal.

I thought I recognized this dude from somewhere, then I placed it:


I wonder if I gave him a Butterfinger if he would go ape shit. Hehe.

If you take a look at his MySpace site, it is clear that Craig Reynolds is nothing but a tool; a whore of a human that will do anything, including wearing a nipple shirt, to make it big in ‘country’ music. And if his album came out and it made as much as Hank III has made in his whole life, he would probably mark himself as a colossal failure. Because it is not about the music or the message, but about the M-O-N-E-Y!

Pop music has it’s place in the world. Somebody has to sing to teenage girls and rich prettyboys. But that place is not country music, and I will not rest until the pop is purged out of it.

What the country music oligarchy doesn’t understand is that REAL country music fans see through all that plastic banana bullshit. We don’t like country music because it’s pretty, we like it because it’s ugly and poor, and tragic and true, just like our lives, and most importantly we like it because BECAUSE IT’S REAL!!

But you Craig Reynolds are not real. And that’s why I’m sorry to say, but I’m going to have to deny your friend request.

Good luck inspiring teenage girls to lip sinc into their shampoo bottles.

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