Expert: Erratic Randy Travis Could Be Caused By Paulie Walnuts Wings

Randy Travis is making headlines yet again down in Texas today after he was arrested around midnight near his home in Tioga. Police found the country music singer injured after he wrecked his Trans Am, and claim he smelled of alcohol, and was naked lying in the middle of the road. After refusing a breathalyzer, police preformed a blood alcohol test, and say that Travis threatened to kill them, raising the stakes of the arrest to a possible felony offense. Travis was also arrested in February for public intoxication when police found him drunk in a church parking lot.

So what is the cause of all of Randy’s recent erratic behavior? One expert says it can be linked to the silver wings that have recently sprouted from the side of Randy’s head. “Paulie Walnuts syndrome is what some like to call it, named after the famous Sopranos TV character known for being especially ruthless and having ‘silver wings’ in his hair,” Dr. Malcom Frankenfurter, a physiologist for the University of Texas Medical Center explains. “But it is a serious medical disorder just recently discovered that can lead to major behavioral difficulties in aging males.”

The disorder apparently is caused by an imbalance of the chemical melanin in the brain. “Melanin is the pigment that gives hair and skin its color,” says Dr. Frankenfurter. “As we age, many times the hair follicles that contain a finite amount of pigment cells cease to produce the melanin, and our hair begins to turn gray, or white. In the case of people with Paulie Walnuts syndrome, the melanin loss is so dramatic and concentrated around the lower sides of the brain that it effects the temporal lobes of both brain hemispheres, many times causing erratic behavior and temporary loss of judgement, especially when alcohol is involved. If you look at an image of the brain, the temporal lobes virtually mimic the location of many aging male’s ‘silver wings.’

Dr. Frankenfurter is quick to say Randy Travis has not been diagnosed with the ailment, but recommends his doctors look into the possibly Randy is effected by it right away.

“Randy Travis really should be checked out before he does something to really endanger his country music career, like sign with Scott Borchetta of Big Machine Records and release a country rap song about a truck, or even worse, release a single with Bucky Covington.”

Paulie Walnuts could not be reached for comment.

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