Jan
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Saving Country Music’s Worst Country Songs of 2012

January 3, 2013 - By Trigger  //  Down with Pop Country  //  101 Comments

SCMLOGOLAYERSThis year in popular country music, there were some glimmers of hope. Kacey Musgraves’ “Merry Go ‘Round” found some surprising traction and success, and Kellie Pickler’s 100 Proof may go down as one of the best mainstream country albums in years. But of course this was all counter-balanced by a gaggle of the worst songs “country” music has ever seen. At this point we probably should just resign that each year the crop of bad songs will get worse as Music Row runs out of ideas and continues to appeal to the least common denominator and stretch for relevancy.

Something else to note about this year’s crop of “Worst Songs” is half of them, including the top three, are the responsibility of The Country Music Anti-Christ Scott Borchetta’s Big Machine Label and it’s associated tentacles. Songs were picked through a proprietary algorithm that considers not just how awful a song is or sounds, but that also takes into consideration cultural significance.

8. Little Big Town – “Pontoon”

little-big-town-pontoon

Little Big Town does its level best to shipwreck country music by jettisoning off any and all country roots and twang and inviting on board the most unabashed pop culture imagery and materialism in this stupid summer lake song. The only time a pontoon like this should make an appearance in country is when a bass boat is trolling by and its redneck occupants drop trow and moon these martini-sipping elitists. The eardrum-raping “tings” that make up the idiotic hook for this song sound like the noise that Satan would evoke when perpetually pulling out your pubic hairs one by one as the punishment for eternal damnation.

I hear mention of “motorboating” but unfortunately none of the sea hags in Little Big Town are endowed fully enough to pull the trick off. No, it’s not the choppy water, it’s this song that is making me want to blow chunks overboard.

7. Kip Moore – “Somethin’ ‘Bout A Truck”

kip-moore-somethin-bout-a-truck

You know your song is lame and unimaginative when Mother Goose is suing you for royalties and mechanicals. There’s something about a truck? There’s something about some pop country douche in a backwards baseball cap ripping off the nursery rhyme “Hole in the Bottom of the Sea” accompanied by Richie Sambora-style stratocaster guitar that makes me want to insert a corkscrew into my earhole and start turning.

Apparently this song is about getting laid by some shallow chick. “On one occasion, [my car] broke down, so I asked my dad, ‘Pop, I need your truck.’ He said sure, so I took it to pick her up … It was like I picked up a whole other human. She was vibrant and all about me; she was all over me from the beginning of the date.”

6. Thomas Rhett – “Beer with Jesus”

thomas-rhett-beer-with-jesus-001

Jesus may have turned the other cheek, but he also overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple where they didn’t belong. Just like the Romans of biblical times, these pop country fart tards are foreign occupiers who need to get the hell out of country. I don’t pretend to know what Jesus would do, but if I were him, I’d shove my sandal straight up Thomas Rhett’s ass and tell him he could keep his Michelob Ultra. Somewhere in the Bible it must say that the worst lies are the ones you tell yourself, and if Thomas Rhett thinks this song is anything other than marketing, he’s committing a cardinal sin.

Besides, wasn’t Jesus more of a wine guy? (read song review)

5. Craig Morgan – “Corn Star”

craig-morgan-corn-star

I’d rather have to clean up the corn-laced leavings of a sumo wrestler or have my poop shoot violated by a serrated corn cob than subject my ear holes to this abomination.

Yes my friends, this song actually exists, and was even released as a single. How do you out cornpone your corny competition? Make a pun about corn and insert into a sexually-charged urbanism (aka the Honky Tonk Badonka Donk songwriting formula). I can just see songwriters Jeffrey Steele and Shane Minor high fiving each other in the BMI building on Music Row, hoping this is the hit that takes them out of the cubicle farm to the corner office. But they’re not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you for buying into this worthless piece of drivel.

If you think “Corn Star” is funny, then the joke’s on you.

4. Shooter Jennings & Bucky Covington – “Drinking Side of Country”

Shooter takes the ‘O’ out of country and pulls a Benedict Arnold by teaming up with pop country also-ran Bucky Covington (aka “The Nickeback of Country Music”) in this positively awful pop song. Shooter has his Kool-Aid-drinking apologists selling out every one of their principles to defend their country music savior while he ca$hes in by the elevation of his cult of personality.

How pop is this video and song? Well it got over 2 million hits in 72 hours, but if you check out the like to dislike ratio on this video, it is phenomenal. This song has a double digit lead on the like to dislike ratio on all the other songs on this list, on the worst country songs of all time, or virtually any song released in popular music, only outpaced by Rebecca Blacks of the world. You could make a serious case that this song is the most polarizing ever released in country music.

Oh and let’s not forget they changed the “Outlaw” lyric in the song so Shooter wouldn’t look like a hypocrite since he called out this practice in his song “Outlaw You.” But all of that’s okay, because he played my band’s song on his satellite radio show on Sunday afternoon at a time slot they give to pseudo celebrities because barely anybody listens. Or he smoked me out backstage one night, or took me out for a drink and said he loved my blog.

I’m just glad I’m on record calling Shooter the Svengali of country music before this song and video were released. As Jules in Pulp Fiction once said, “If you want to play blind man, go walk with the shepherd. But me, my eyes are wide fucking open.” (read song review)

3. Florida-Georgia Line – “Cruise”

florida-georgia-line-cruise1

Yet another entry on this list originating from Scott Borchetta’s Big Machine Records, which is ironic seeing how these two douchebags met at Borchetta’s cross-town rival’s namesake–Belmont University’s “Mike Curb College of Music.”

Florida Georgia Line is a horrible combination of Rascal Flatts pretty boy hyper-pop, and designer jeans Jason Aldean “backroad” laundry list bullshit. They are everything bad about quotation mark “country” in 2012 combined into one big stuffed crotch sandwich. Punctuating how pathetic “Cruise” is, is the fact that these two dudes apparently don’t know how to use punctuation. The first line of the song goes, “Baby you a song,” instead of, “Baby you’re a song.” But what else can you expect when the title of their EP is It’z Just What We Do. Yes, it’s one of those albums, blurring the lines between Ebonics and idiocracy. (read song review)

2. Taylor Swift – “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

Taylor-Swift-We-Are-Never-Ever-Getting-Back-Together

There’s positively nothing country about this song, which should really disqualify it from the competition. But because of Billboard’s new chart rules, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” went from being #21 on the country charts and faltering, to being #1 for 9 straight weeks, breaking the record for a female country artist that had been held since 1964 by Hall of Famer Connie Smith. It spent 3 weeks at the #1 spot on Billboard’s all-encompassing “Hot 100″ chart, the first country song to accomplish this feat since Kenny Rogers’ “Lady” released 33 years ago. It also set the record for the biggest digital sales week ever for a song by a female artist, and has now been certified triple platinum.

All of this is despite the fact that the song was only released to the public in a pop mix, with the “country” mix being the other version of the song, and only available to country radio upon request. I’ve got nothing funny to say here. I guess it is an okay pop song, but this song coupled with Billboard’s new chart rules caused possibly the biggest sonic and statistic erosion to the foundation of country music in its 70 year existence.

1. Tim McGraw – “Truck Yeah”

“Truck Yeah” picks up where Jason Aldean’s country/rap “Dirt Road Anthem” left off, blurring the lines between country and rap until you’re left with “crap.” With the first single from the Big Machine Records-era of Tim McGraw, the country music mega-star pulls off the biggest sellout move of his career, and one of the biggest sellout moves ever seen from an established country music franchise name. “Truck Yeah” is an embarrassing, overt outcry for relevancy and commercial acceptance. Somewhere Mike Curb–who McGraw won a court case against to release this song and join Big Machine–is sitting behind a desk, maniacally stroking a cat sitting on his lap and cackling.

There’s no story. Instead the song just spews out stereotypical artifacts of culture while hanging on one single monotone vocal note with minor variations. This song is a product of the mono-genre. It’s a club dance song. Countryisms and urbanisms are belted out by McGraw with no delineation between the two. He talks about crew cabs and clubs downtown. DJ’s and rednecks. And then there’s the line, “Got Lil’ Wayne Pumpin’ on my iPod.” And add on top of all of that the stupid cornpone title lyric and the fact that it’s yet another mainstream song about trucks and you have a super-fecta of pop country suckitude.

The worst country song ever? Quite possibly. It’s certainly the worst of 2012. (read song review)

101 Comments to “Saving Country Music’s Worst Country Songs of 2012”

  • Mojo Nixon did the beer/Jesus connection ten times better with his song “Are You Drinkin’ With Me, Jesus?” on the album he did with Jello Biafra back in the early 90′s. Thomas Rhett should therefore give up his royalties to Mojo and Jello.

       2 likes

  • Okay, I definitely agree with the top 3…no doubt about it. “Something About a Truck” should be number 4. I don’t have that big of a problem with Bucky Covington, and I definitely don’t think it belongs on the top 8. It at least sounds a little different than anything on the radio. “Corn Star” is probably the dumbest song I’ve ever heard, but honestly, I don’t even think its worth a spot, because I heard it like twice on the radio. I really don’t like Thomas Rhett, but if you are going to put one of his songs on the list it should have been “Something to do with my Hand”. Beer with Jesus at least has some substance. And even though “Pontoon” was a terrible song, I have a lot of respect for Little Big Town and I guess since they have tried to put out great songs and they got shot down, I’ll give them a pass on “Pontoon”. Overall, I don’t really agree with your list. There was a lot shittier music then some of the stuff you put on hear. Ummm, Brantley Gilbert anyone?

       2 likes

  • not gonna lie…i like that “Pontoon” song. it makes me wanna shake my butt.

       4 likes

    • I do too, actually — and my mother loves it. (She tells me it sound like something the male strippers in ‘The Full Monty’ could dance to — it has that same sort of groove as “You Can Leave Your Hat On.”)

      But after having heard some of their earlier songs like “Boondocks” and “Little White Church,” I think it’s also kind of weird (albeit not too surprising) that LBT should finally get so much mainstream recognition for what must be their silliest, goofiest song. o_O

      ***

      As for the rest, the only ones I could even bring myself to sit through were WANEGBT (earworm from hell) and “Cruise” (“baby, you a song” = my pick for worst lyric of the year). :p

         1 likes

  • Believe it or not, I absolutely agree with your top 2, including #2.

    In your mid-year list, you put “Corn Star” and “Somethin’ ‘Bout a Truck” ahead of “Drinking Side of Country” in the worst songs list. What made you change your mind since then?

       1 likes

    • It’s because of my raging, unprofessional Shooter Jennings bias ;)

      Actually it came down to metrics. When I posted that mid-year list, “Drinking Side of Country” had just come out. A few weeks ago I was poking around doing some research for another article and noticed the huge amount of dislikes on that video. You won’t be able to find that amount of dislikes on any of the other videos here, or any other that people might name for being bad 2012 songs, nor will you find anywhere near the same percentage when comparing likes to dislikes. This is because Shooter Jennings has become the most polarizing figure in country music. And it’s not just to my mind-numbed followers or Hank3 fans as some would allude, it is old-school Waylon fans, Eric Church and Justin Moore fans who feel they were called out in “Outlaw You,” people who are pissed off that he called out Thomas Rhett and John Mayer and countless others through Twitter, NOT because Shooter wasn’t right necessarily, but because he calls people out for selling out and being stupid, and then he posts something like this. It’s the hypocrisy.

      For being the most polarizing artist and being the most polarizing song in country in 2012, I felt the hop-scotch was warranted.

      As a song itself, it is not nearly as terrible as the others, or others left off the list. It is for its significance.

         1 likes

      • “Shooter Jennings has become the most polarizing figure in country music”

        Pretty sure this “honor” belongs to Taylor Swift, based on the comments on country music websites. Shooter may be the most polarizing figure in independent country, but the vast majority of mainstream country fans have no idea who he is.

           4 likes

      • at first i was shocked and aghast that that you had left out the biggest lump of crap this side of the Corn Palace, Moonshine Bandits. I mean how could you pass up the bashing? then i thought of my own visceral response to these Queens of cheese, these princesses of puke. And i thought perhaps you just passed out from the disgust.

           2 likes

      • Agree with the top 3. Actually I could put
        Ten of “Swifty’s” into a separate garbage pile. However, you kill me with the Shooter comments. I can’t argue this one…the song mad me sad but you make comments about him often. Just my opinion but I think his music is amazing. A lot better than the BS Hank III puts out which you seem to idolize in other articles.

           2 likes

        • I think Shooter has made some amazing music too. I wasn’t commenting on Shooter’s music in general, I was commenting on this song specifically, and how it makes some of his public comments and actions a hypocrisy.

          As for me idolizing Hank3 in “other” articles, I think this perspective was old 3 years ago. Does this look like idolization?

          http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/album-review-hank3s-ghost-to-a-ghost

          As soon as Shooter quits blaming all his problems and criticism on disgruntled Hank3 fans, the quicker he can get to the root of the true problem.

             3 likes

      • And to think, I thought “Outlaw You” was going to be our war call… Only to be led by a hypocrite. Sometimes I think Shooter wants to do the right thing, but then he just shoots himself in the foot.. Maybe he’s just out for the almighty dollar.

        I’m a little embarrassed to say that I have “Drinking Side of Country” on my iPod, though.. :3

           0 likes

        • Absolutely don’t see how Shooter is a hypocrite. Especially if you have the song on your ipod. I heard the song, I don’t hate it, it’s not his best work, but it’s a project he’s a part of. Same with Carter Falco, Ike Reilly, Tom Morello and the other 50 songs he’s appeared on. It has nothing to do with his music. Don’t listen to Trigger and his bullshit, because he puts these ideas and words like “hypocrite” and “svengali” in your head and then you repeat it like a sheep. Shooter’s new record is coming out and I’d be willing to bet its’ better than most records that come out. But continue being a sheep to the all mighty powerful computer blogger Trigger, because he has a much wider reach than say someone so dangerous and deceitful as Shooter.

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          • It’s really not that bad. It’s just another corny drinking song. :3 And as for Shooter’s talent as an artist, I think his work is great. I LOVED The Family Man.

               2 likes

      • Am I the only one who finds it funny that a guy named “Shooter” and a guy named “Trigger” have a running feud on the internet? The only thing that would make it better is if they had a showdown at a Target.

           9 likes

        • I do prefer Target over Wal-Mart.

             7 likes

  • The one good thing about the “Truck Yeah” song and video is their “melting pot” message of ethnic diversity and cultural harmony.

       2 likes

    • …or it’s about pandering to the widest possible demographics.

         21 likes

      • Pandering of the lowest order.

        My musical choices are always based on how ethnically diverse and culturally harmonious the music is. If New Guinea tribesman, Pushkar camel herders, Saudi Arabian Wahhabi oil sheiks, Mexican ruling-class Freemasons, and Quebec national separatists don’t approve, then I won’t listen and I won’t buy….

           8 likes

        • I’ve always found New Guinea tribesmen chants to be the perfect combination of catchiness and soul, especially when backed by Brazilian trance beat and mixed with Mongolian monk throat singing.

             13 likes

        • I hate the song and think that it is the worst major country song of the year. I was just pointing out the one positive glimmer in it.

             3 likes

    • i liked this comment for its nearly schizophrenic logic

         3 likes

  • sorry about that TM. my shit is janky.

       1 likes

    • Not your fault. We’re having an issue where comments are posting twice. Working on it…

         1 likes

  • How is Come Over by kenny chesney not on this list!! I will give thomas rhett a pass on this one.

    1-Truck Yeah
    2-Come Over
    3-Cruise
    4-Brantley Gilbert
    5-Barefoot Blue Jean Night
    6-the one about speakers goin boom boom
    7-Angel Eyes
    8-Beer Money

       8 likes

    • I actually like Luke Bryan’s “Drunk on You” (the “boom boom” song). “Beer Money” is an okay small-town party song.

         1 likes

      • Eric , I’ve come to find your posts very annoying .

           25 likes

        • I actually enjoy Eric’s perspective. But then again, I enjoy criticism and seeing differing viewpoints represented on this site.

          I just think he needs to be better picking his battles.

             4 likes

          • I find that one hard to believe…

               1 likes

        • Looking at the number of “likes” this comment has gotten, I’m sure glad this isn’t Survivor! If it were, I probably would have been voted off the island a long time ago!

             3 likes

          • You seem like a nice guy , but maybe just give the devil’s advocate thing a rest . That’s all .

               5 likes

      • I downloaded Kip Moore’s album.. I tried to enjoy it so that I could prepare myself for the next bon fire with the idiots of my town that listen to that trash.. Let’s just say I never went to the next bon fire because I couldn’t stand it.. Beer Money is absolutely terrible. And Luke Bryan’s “Drunk On You” is by far one of the worst songs I’ve heard, but hey.. It makes the stupid “country girls” dance, so I reckon I can’t complain. Smh. I’m ashamed of myself.

           2 likes

    • “6-the one about speakers goin boom boom”

      Ha! love it.

      Lots of folks hoping to see Brantley Gilbert on here. For certain he’s terrible, but I thought the majority of his terrible songs were released last year. It’s been a long time since he released an album. “Halfway to Heaven” came out in March 2010, then they re-issued it as “Deluxe” in 2011. I’m sure there will be plenty of bad songs to roast whenever his new album comes out.

         5 likes

  • No problem with the list at all. Cornstar truly is top 5 dumbest songs ever. Not suprised Pontoon is the tune on the list that made bank. Catchy crap folks can blast at cook outs at the lake etc always sell. It will be bar band cover stable forever.

       3 likes

  • Agree with everything on the list but would add Kristen Kelly’s “Ex Old Man” and anything by Brantley Gilbert would’ve made a nice round top 10.

       2 likes

  • Really Trig. you’re such a dick. Shooter’s a good dude, and you just rail him and throw him in here and milk that song for everything it’s worth just to run his name down. It’s pretty pathetic actually. I’ll tell you something else, his show runs Sat night, Sunday and Thursday and is Outlaw Country’s most popular non-daily show. So just being a dick about all that stuff makes you sound like a brat. But it’s fine, because for whatever you think is going on, he loves the music he plays, you can tell. And he cares a lot about music, regardless who he records a song with. You do sound like a real asshole tho when you go so overboard with your comments. It’s like that scene in Billy Madison when the asshole guy who is trying to ruin Billy loses his cool and acts like a big baby. You do realize that you fit that stereotype, not the hero in this right? Anyways, like your blog, but do think you need to maybe stop showing your ass so much when it comes to Shooter. That dangerous/deceptive quote made you look like an idiot imo.

       3 likes

    • I like a good bit of Shooter’s music. But if I’m gonna give credit where it’s due…Trig is usually right in his criticisms, however harsh they may be. “Drinking Side” was pretty damn disappointing, and that’s coming from someone who actually bought and enjoyed (non-ironically) most of Black Ribbons, and some of Stargunn. Shooter is increasingly kinda hit and miss. 

         3 likes

      • I am a Shooter, fan, too. But this Shooter/Fucky Covington song sucks and sucks real bad. That being said, there is nothing wrong with Black Ribbons. I think it was an ambitious, interesting idea for a concept album. As it turned out, the S. King parts, and sound effects were a little hokey and cartoonish, but the music is great. I really like a lot of the songs on that album….

           4 likes

        • correction: I meant to say that there is nothing wrong with “liking” Black Ribbons.

             3 likes

      • “Black Ribbons” has some really good songs. “Triskadectaphobia,” “Black Ribbons,” “When The Radio Goes Dead.” The problem with that album though speaks to the greater problem with Shooter Jennings. The guy has talent, and if he’d just focus on writing and performing good songs, he’d get along just fine. But he weighs everything down with extraneous stuff that becomes polarizing, like weird imagery, the Stephen King stuff, trying to get everyone to re-brand their music under a polarizing title, pointing a tank at the Country Music Hall of Fame, and all of a sudden there’s tons of baggage you have to fight through to get to the stuff worth paying attention to. I can’t fault him for his grand vision, but you have to be careful when that vision is distracting from all the things that are most important, and polarizing the people you are attempting to help.

        “Black Ribbons” may go down as Shooter’s best work.

           2 likes

        • Being able to separate artistic criticism from one’s personal feelings toward an artist is a very admirable quality in a critic. I like the fact that you are able to praise much of Shooter’s work even though you obviously hate him quite deeply.

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    • Jake THe SNake,

      Do you know where that quote came from? Can you find it in the body of any of my articles? What was the article about that it came from? Did I ever forward that quote as an original piece of content on this website? What was the context? What stimulated that quote?

      I’m curious to know if Shooter knows the answers to these questions either. I’m not distancing from it, I just think it would go a long way to explaining the root of this conflict if it was put in context.

         0 likes

      • The quote is from the comments section of the following article:

        http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/the-greatest-underground-country-albums-of-all-time

           0 likes

        • The Triggerman December 17, 2012 at 2:11 am

          Look man, let me just say this.

          At this point, I think the best thing is to not attempt to resolve the differences between Shooter and I, but to appreciate our differences and allow there to be separation to reduce the likelihood of conflict. Make no mistake about it, I think that Shooter Jennings is the most dangerous, most deceptive artist in the overall country music world right now. But out of respect for him, and for folks that don’t want to see drama, I am doing my best to check my anger and opinions. I don’t want there to be conflict. He can stay on his side of the schoolyard, and I’ll stay on mine. Like the teacher used to say in school, just ignore the people you don’t like, and keep your hands to yourself. This is like the Palestinian / Israeli conflict, and people need to respect that small things like a comment on an article that has no bearing on Shooter Jennings can turn the cold war hot and damage both sides.

          There is that quote so people can actually read it and see you are telling the truth. Trigg as he calls himself now can also see it. I can’t expect anyone who picked Kellie Pickler’s album as the best of the year to understand much about Shooter or his music. I’d be baffled, maybe if he turns up on American Idol he will be real country. I’m sure Trigg will love that comment so he can tell me how Kellie is the real deal country. She’s not she’s manufactured goods at best.

          Trigg you can’t even justify half of what you say as you told me:

          Shooter Jennings has been, is, and will continue to be a mainstream Southern rock artist, and as soon as he and his fans fess up to that fact and finally call a spade a spade and stop the charade that he belongs in any part either on this list or in the independent country roots movement in general, both the movement and Shooter can move on and grow. Until then, there will be conflict.

          So you including his song as “country” shows you yourself can’t even define the genre enough to even know how to talk about it without sounding like king of the hill. Shooter’s not country hey? Then why include him in the country labeled category?

          The Shooter song is no good. It’s no good in the same way the Kellie Pickler album is terrible. It’s bad money making style music.

             1 likes

          • Kellie Pickler’s album being “terrible” is your opinion, not the basis of an argument. It’s a very lonely opinion considering the fact that the overwhelming majority of critics loved the album and almost every independent country website put it in its list of top 10 albums of the year.

            Calling “100 Proof” a “money making style” album is the peak of ridiculousness. Kellie Pickler fought against her label in order to make this album, and it ended up being her weakest album commercially and she ended up getting dumped by her label. Here’s the deal: there’s nothing wrong with having an opinion, but if you want to attack an artist’s motives, you really should do some research first.

               5 likes

          • I wonder how Shooter feels about Kellie’s music. After all, she’s the lead female character in the “Drinking Side of Country” video.

               1 likes

          • Okay, so Shooter Jennings is country because Kellie Pickler was on American Idol. Got it!

            And by the way, NONE of the songs on this list are country. I’ve written multiple articles explaining why Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is not country from a statistical and logistical standpoint. Arguing semantics is always a sign of desperation.

            And thanks for posting that quote. Now people can see that the context of it was to attempt to avoid conflict.

            I will deal with quote-gate in due course, when I’m done letting out the rope.

               0 likes

  • Does anyone else notice that Shooter is wearing a Scott Biram t-shirt in “Drinking Side of Country”? I think this counts as bad publicity for Scott.

       4 likes

    • Seems to me like they are buddies. They’ve shared the stage and give each other publicity. Maybe you should ask Scott H. Biram since you two are on a first name basis.

         2 likes

      • I was simply curious as to what he might think about having a small part in that glorious piece of country music art. Maybe I will ask him about it, considering he plays at my venue a few times a year and seems like a nice guy. Thanks for the suggestion, Hagpie.

           0 likes

        • No point in name calling. He is probably honored to have his shirt worn by the son of a legend and a steward of the underground country scene. I don’t see how it’s bad publicity. Any news is good news, right? Calm down.

             1 likes

          • As assuming and obnoxious as I think your comment was, I have decided that maybe this is a good thing. If some easily influenced rednecks can be turned on by songs like these, then maybe subliminal messaging like that t-shirt will encourage them to drone over to their computer and give the real artists some well-deserved compensation.

               1 likes

          • This is the music gateway drug theory, forwarded many times, but rarely executed with serious results.

               1 likes

          • I think it’s a good thing. And, I don’t see how Scott H Biram would not like it, but I don’t speak for him. It’s also good, in my opinion, that bands like Shovels and Rope, William Elliot Whitmore, Scott H Biram, and so on get exposure on cable TV shows. And, last year I was amazed to hear Wayne Hancock on a Travel Wisconsin TV ad. All good in my book.

               1 likes

    • Scotty and Shooter are doing a big fest together here in Illinois in April with a lot of other great acts promotoed on this site (Hellbound Glory, Rachel Brook, Paul James and Jake Orvis to name a few). They are indeed friends, as Scott thanks Shooter on his albums, and obviously, they have a new duet single out now.

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      • I already got tickets. It should be epic.

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  • Great list. I actually kinda wish ‘Truck Yeah’ got more radio play because that shit is so bad it’s hilarious and made me laugh the whole way through the song each time I heard it. You have to laugh to keep from crying, right?

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  • I agree with ya on almost all of these, but I hate to admit I didn’t mind the Pontoon or Something about a Truck so much, if you take it for what it is as just a catchy pop song that sticks in your head. I didn’t mind Drinking Side of Country either even though I agree with you about they hypocrite remark about the term “Outlaw”.

    Corn Star, Truck Yeah, and Cruise are just plain horrible. I would have to add these artists who I absolutely can’t stand; Lady A, Gloriana, The Band Perry, Eden’s Edge.

    I’m am just so glad we seem to finally be over the Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift mickey mouse club versions of country music.

       1 likes

  • The problem with lists like these is that you have no shortage of contenders. I can’t take issue with any of the entries (maybe the Taylor Swift isn’t THAT bad), but you could easily double the size of the list and still leave out deserving songs. No “5150?” No reference to that Jason Aldean/Luke Bryan/Eric Church rap country abomination? No “She Cranks My Tractor,” which is so bad there are rules in the Geneva Convention about playing it too frequently?

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    • Since like you said there’s no shortage of contenders, so I focused my anger on the 8 I felt were especially deserving. If I had stretched the list to 10, Both “She Cranks My Tractor” and “The Only Way I Know” would have been on there for sure.

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  • You must have hacked my wife’s IPod to form this list , Trig . She eats this shit up like the shakings at the bottom of a Captain D’s bag .

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  • I think Jason Aldean’s “Take a Little Ride” deserves a spot on here somewhere.

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  • more trucks than cars, kick it in the sticks, blown away. Not sure what song to take out though….

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  • This must be one of the hardest list of the year you do.How you can come up with 8 instead of 50 is amazing in itself.

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    • This list could have been a lot longer, but I decided I’d rather save my words for the positive stuff. I catch hell for doing articles like these instead of positive ones, and though I think these have their place and importance too, I didn’t want to spend a week putting it together. Just wanted to get some licks in and move on.

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  • As harsh as I was about Thomas Rhett’s “Beer With Jesus” in the comments of it’s review, I’m not sure it deserves to be on this list.

    Thomas actually seems to have some talent, and while the song was “lazy” in it’s conveyance of what should’ve been an intriguing idea, it wasn’t anywhere near as horrible as anything else on this list.

    Also, there was ONE positive thing about “Drinkin Side of Country”… Kellie Pickler looked positively stunning in the video.

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  • I thought I was the only one who thought Shooter was a phony. something about that guy just rubs me the wrong way..

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  • Just noticed this… On Shooter Jenning’s website, it has a quote from Trig. o_o

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    • he forgot the svengali part though,lol…

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    • Good.

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    • LOL, is that actually his website? Posting a quote like that takes some serious chutzpah!

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    • Guess what? Trigger’s quote about Shooter Jennings is now on Kid Rock’s website too:

      http://www.kidrockcruise.com/artists/view/id/667/

      Looks like Trigger and this website have become famous.

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      • Even better.

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        • That right there is badass. Makes me smile…partly because Shooter’s using you as a stepping stone, and partly because you’re blog could get more exposure for it.

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        • That’s a bit baffling. I can see how being called dangerous could be a positive, but deceptive? I’m not sure why one would want to advetise that there’s a blogger out there who thinks you’re full of shit.

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          • I think he’s playing it off as his outlaw image…and by god it works.

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        • There is an interesting new interpretation of your comments about Shooter on Kid Rock’s site:

          “In the long run, in his short time here Shooter has been a very prolific and daring artist. Dangerous in his disregard for rules put upon him by the greedy. Deceptive in his unpredictability.”

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  • Trig…. Why dont you give the readers of this site the ability to give both a thumbs up and thumbs down and lets see how you stack up to Ol’ Shooter. I think it would only be fair. or if you have the stones, Maybe run a poll on here so we can put this to bed. Kinds seems like you are hiding behind you laptop to me.

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    • That’s a somewhat interesting proposal, but it may not rely on if I have the “stones” or not. It’s more of a technical issue of how I could do that. This website is built on a template like most websites are, and then there’s widgets and applications you add on top, etc. Like the “thumbs up” feature on the comments is an add on widget, but unfortunately there’s no “thumbs down” available.

      But this speaks to one of the inherent problems with Shooter Jennings and some of his fans not appreciating the polarization that Shooter evokes in people. Shooter seems to want to blame any negative sentiments towards him on disgruntled Hank3 fans, like their opinion doesn’t matter, and lie to himself about the true nature of his polarizing character.

      I’ll tell you right now, I know I’m hated, and in many circles, Shooter Jennings fans just being one of them. I will also tell you that my opinions on Shooter Jennings are hurting this site as far as its popularity in certain circles and with certain important people. But I would be hurt more if I lied about my opinions because it is my job to give my honest opinion regardless of the outcome.

      As soon as Shooter begins to be honest about his public sentiment, then he can start doing things to help solve some of the conflicts he seems perpetually involved in. And as long as he continues to blame them on others, they will continue to dogg him.

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  • i pretty much agree with your list.

    brown chicken brown cow is probably my worst “country song” ever.

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  • I usually avoid CMT and FM country radio like the plague so I’ve been fortunate enough to have never heard most of these. “Beer with Jesus” would have to be the worst that I’ve heard, although just reading the lyrics to “truck yeah” gives me a headache.

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  • I’d be interested in your top 8 mainstream country songs of the year. I don’t agree with everything you say but I find your opinions interesting

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    • I’m a bit listed out I think, but we’ll consider it.

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  • I doubt 2013′s off to a good start either. Eric Church, Jason Aldeen and Luke Bryan have collaborated on a song. Sick ‘em, Trigger!!

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  • Let’s not bury the lead here folks. I know I had some disparaging things to say about Shooter, but I had disparaging things to say about 8 other artists too. This article was intended to make people laugh.

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  • I agree with all the songs on the list, but I like 5-1-5-0 should at least be an honorable mention. I like some of Dierk’s stuff but that song is terrible.

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    • Additionally, WANEGBT has now spent its tenth week atop the chart because of digital sales and despite probably not even getting a single play on country radio.

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  • can you please update the list to put that “Come Over” from Kenny Chesney in there? Drivin around on his fuggin YACHT in the video. Replace Shooter/Bucky with it. Thank you.

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  • Nice list and great choices.

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  • Where’s “She Cranks My Tractor”? That’s by far worse than “Pontoon”! ;)

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    • “She Cranks My Tractor” would have been #9 if I’d stretched the list out that far.

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  • Good list. While I’ll admit, I juke to Pontoon, Somethin Bout A Truck (quite possibly the best truck song I’ve heard other than ‘I Drive Your Truck’), and I even kinda like Beer With Jesus, the rest of the list deserves this “honor.”

    TSwift will likely be going the way of Shania soon (anyone remember what happened to Shania after she tried to go pop? Exactly….nothing) and Truck Yeah is something I know for a fact was written as a joke, but some “well-meaning” exec probably saw dollar signs and thought it was genius. Country music would be so great if it weren’t for the industry. xD

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  • Could not agree with this list more. Fucking garbage.

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  • What about kick it in the sticks? That song was re-released this year, by none other than the enemy of Brantley Gilbert.

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  • I think Eric = Trigger

    Trigger side-note this quote:

    Okay, so Shooter Jennings is country because Kellie Pickler was on American Idol. Got it!

    — Nope Kellie Pickler is country and Shooter is country. They both released bad money making songs. Eric oh I mean Trigg you get it this time.

    And by the way, NONE of the songs on this list are country. I’ve written multiple articles explaining why Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is not country from a statistical and logistical standpoint. Arguing semantics is always a sign of desperation.

    — Eric oh I mean Trigg can you read your own writing “Worst Country Songs Of 2012″ is the title of your article. A country site post a worst of list of country songs that he claims aren’t even country songs. Do you even get that Trigg? I can’t argue intelligence with someone who can’t even understand the title of their own article. Back to kindergarten for you!

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    • Actually, I am Eric, not the other way around.

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  • By far the worst F’ing song of 2012 was Justin Moore’s “Bait A Hook.” With lines like, ‘My buddy said he saw y’all eatin’ that sushi stuff’ and ‘I heard he’s got a Prius, cuz he’s into being green,’ no song I’ve ever listened to has left me angrier. Well maybe “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” Anyway, Justin Moore can eat my cornhole.

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  • The profession of a sound engineer 2013

    Just a little Sunday humor

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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Insqc8YbdMg

    Sorry, the link didn’t work the first time.

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  • While I am a big Shooter Jennings fan, I must admit I was disappointed in him releasing “Drinking side of Country,” with Bucky Covington. However, I definitely think there were a lot more horrible songs out/released in 2012 than that one, like anything by Lady gAy or Brantley Gilbert. It will take more than that for me to dislike Shooter, nobody’s perfect. Whatever reason he decided to do a song with Bucky Covington, it was a mistake. Hell Alan Jackson did a song with Zac Brown Band (and I hate ZBB,) however I still love Alan Jackson and think he is a great, real country singer and legend himself.

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  • All of these songs are pretty bad, but it’s most distressing how far Tim McGraw’s career has fallen. The man used to be on top and “Truck Yeah” is nothing but a transparent attempt to get a hit (telling that it didn’t crack the top ten, even with the new Billboard rules). On the others, it’s hit or miss; I play the radio at work and used to be embarrassed when “Corn Star” came on, I like “Beer With Jesus” but it’s admittedly silly, “Pontoon” is the most annoying and repetitive Country song I’ve ever heard, “Somethin’ Bout a Truck” and “Cruise” have decently catchy hooks but are undone by their lack of intelligence and banality. I’ve never heard “Drinking Side of Country,” but I trust Trigger’s opinion enough (even though I don’t always completely agree with it) to not put myself through that torture.

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