Look, Thomas Rhett seems like a really swell guy. You want someone to date your sister or daughter, or watch over the dues payments to your local youth soccer association, who better? But as a “country” artist, the guy’s got a whole bunch of nothing. But his wife, Lauren Akins?
Luke Bryan did not get here by happenstance, and he’s not going to blow his opportunity to remain on top by making poor decisions. Tell yourself his music won’t last through the cruel inquisition of time. Tell yourself he has no talent, and that he’s an idiot on and off the stage. Reassure yourself that eventually he will be relegated to a laughing stock of history with his shallow songs and shortsighted goals.
So we haven’t even had time since the 56th Grammy Awards to sort out if Madonna had the authority to preside over a mass wedding, or if Pharrell’s hat was indeed copyright infringement against the Arby’s logo, and here only a few days later we’re asked to crunch a fresh batch of data dealing with the nominees for the 2014 ACM Awards on April 6th.
2014, ACM Awards, Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood, Dan + Shay, Florida Georgia Line, George Strait, Jason Aldean, Joey + Rory, Kacey Musgraves, Keith Urban, Lee Brice, Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Nominees, predictions, preview, Rhett Akins, Shane McAnally, Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw
Hard to pigeonhole, and certainly not what one would traditionally consider mainstream country music, their ability to appeal to mainstream fans, Southern rock fans, and even some independent and underground fans with a sound that despite whatever lack of depth is hard to not label as authentic and gritty, The Cadillac Three could be a band who finds themselves at the nexus of of the “bro-country” phenomenon, and its backlash.
American Bang, Bang Bang Bang, Ben Brown, Big Machine Records, Blake Shelton, Dierks Bentley, Eli Young Band, Eric Church, Florida Georgia Line, Jake Owen, Jaren Johnston, Keith Urban, Kelby Ray, Llama, MIke Eli, Neil Mason, Rhett Akins, Scott Borchetta, The Cadillac Black, The Cadillac Three, The South, Tim McGraw
Like most of the overused song formulas employed by Music Row songwriters, the laundry list likely started with some good, creative, innovative tunes. But once something works, it is called upon again and again by Music Row until all creativity is spent and it becomes cliche. Such is the evolution (or devolution) of the country checklist song.
Blake Shelton, Bob Seger, Country Boy Can Survive, Country Checklist songs, David Allan Coe, God's Country USA, Hank Williams Jr., Kiss My Country Ass, Laundry List Songs, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Marcus Hummon, Merle Haggard, Okie From Muskogee, Rascal Flatts, Rebel Son, Redneck Piece of White Trash, Rhett Akins, Sara Evans, That's How I Like It, Tim McGraw
If you want to listen to a true, creative meld of hip hop and country, go listen to some Beck or some Paul’s Boutique-era Beastie Boys. But this Colt Ford stuff is garbage, despite a few catchy lines, and as far as I’m concerned, lending your name to a Colt Ford project lands you a card carrying membership to the “Colt Ford Collaboration Blacklist”. Here’s the names I’ve amassed so far…
Beastie Boys, Beck, Charlie Daniels, Colt Ford, Eric Church, Gretchen Wilson, Hank Jr., James Otto, Jamey Johnson, Jason Aldean, Josh Thompson, Kevin Fowler, Luke Bryan, Montgomery Gentry, Randy Houser, Rhett Akins, Tim McGraw